You've reached the Cardhouse F.A.Q., or "Frequently-Asked Questions" page. You can click on each question to jump directly to the answer. I am aware your time is valuable and not to be trifled with.
1) What is Cardhouse?
2) Why are you doing this?
3) What is your current address?
4) What is for sale?
5) How can I be accepted and loved by the Cardhouse staff?
6) What is a weblog?
8) Can you find out more about trend/product [x] for me?
9) I have an interesting concept for a story.
10) Did you know that you have a lot of time on your hands?
11) Why is your site impossible to read?
12) How many inmates are incarcerated in adult institutions in Tennessee?
13) Your site ROCKS! Now look at MINE! It is also ROCKIN'!
15) What is your privacy policy?
16) What in the hell is with the vert|ical ba|rs in the mid|dle of words?
17) I would like a Cardhouse banner so I can put it on my webpage! [link]
18) I want to send you some photos or something in email?
19) I am from the media/press and I would like an interview and/or information!
Send any other questions you might have to us and we will answer them in a timely manner. Swell.
===========================================================Cardhouse is a website concept. It was realized in 1994. There is a lot of stuff archived here. Items archived on the Cardhouse site go back to 1987, many years before the world-wide web existed. We had to wait quite awhile, we told spooky ghost stories to pass the time.
Perhaps you would enjoy looking through the entire archive.
2) Why are you doing this?
There are several reasons. We were trying to avoid working on several of our larger projects (see?). Yep, believe it or not, this is an aside. We are also trying to provide people with numerous ways to fuck off during official work hours. We're like the "Robin Hood" of meaningless, droning work time because we take the work time from the rich, no, we give back the work time to... we'll get back to you on this one.
3) What is your current address?
It changes occasionally. For the most current one, check here.
4) What is for sale?
There is nothing for sale now.
5) How can I be accepted and loved by the Cardhouse staff?
Check out Ye Olde Tradinge Poste to see what's needed and what's available. Also we accept money. E-Gold. No, really.
6) What is a weblog?
A weblog is a dog hanging out of a truck window, tongue flapping in the breeze, excitedly looking everywhere. "Thisthatovertherethis!Andthisandthat!"
8) Can you find out more about trend/product [x] for me?
That depends. If you are a professional journalist, my rate is currently one hundred dollars an hour for research. I am not kidding, I'm like a low-budget Faith Popcorn without the fruity name. You will receive a standard email detailing my fees. If you are not a professional journalist, then I'll reduce my rates. For you, the non-journalist. If you want me to settle a bar bet, my charge is one (1) substantial dessert item (winner or loser) or 8% vigorish (winner only).
9) I have an interesting concept for a story.
I rarely use outside suggestions or creatives, but give it a shot. I don't pay. Except in completely rare situations. Like, you would be the first in about ten years.
10) Did you know that you have a lot of time on your hands?
No, actually, I don't. I have oodles of fun projects lined up, and I putter on each one for about twelve minutes and then move to the next one. In the near future, I will build a life-size simulated sushi-boat restaurant that will have each project on a little boat and the boats will go by faster and faster until my brain explodes. Meanwhile, the nation continues watching all the TV shows.
11) Why is your site impossible to read?
If you are having problems, please describe them here.
12) How many inmates are incarcerated in adult institutions in Tennessee?
On November 1, 1998, there were 15083 males and 644 females assigned to TDOC facilities, for a total of 15727 inmates incarcerated in Tennessee's adult institutions.
13) Your site ROCKS! Now look at MINE! It is also ROCKIN'!
Messages like this will usually go straight to the trash, because the evil spammers are now using this to get web hits and whatnot. Sorry. Also we don't trade links anyway. Update 2002: We still don't trade links. Update 2005: Why do people still think I'll just link to anybody? Do I look like a linkslut?
15) What is your privacy policy?
Web surfing: we gather data to determine what areas of the website need attention, things like mistyped URLs and incorrect links. That's all, we don't care who you are or where you're going, we just want to make sure everyone gets to where they want to go.
Email: If you give us your email address when you contact us, we will use that email address only to reply to you. We don't collect email addresses or sell email addresses or tie funny bows on email addresses.
Mailing lists: If you submit your email address to be used on one of our mailing lists, rest assured that we always BCC our mail, never sell mailing lists, and also have closed off our mailing lists to "who" list member requests from anyone.
16) What is with the vert|ical ba|rs in the mid|dle of words?
The problem with search engines is that they allow people to key on words that have nothing to do with the larger web page. People are coming to pages for the wrong reasons -- by splitting up certain words in certain pages, people won't mistakenly come to these pages. That's the theory, anyway. Apparently there is a rag-tag effort to get this sort of functionality parameterized for search engines, but I fell asleep halfway through the article.
17) I would like a Cardhouse banner so I can put it on my webpage!
We have prepared a special set of Cardhouse banners at this page. You are welcome to use any of these banners to link to Cardhouse. Thank you. Thank you.
18) I would like to send you some photos in email?
Please go here and let me know what's-a "goin' on."
19) I am from the media/press and I would like an interview and/or information!
You can reach us at the Contact page.