X Magazine #14. The Not Published Issue. Never 1995.
"...the post or support for the box should of neat design, of adequate strength and size, and must not be designed to represent effigies or caricatures that would tend to disparage or ridicule any person..." Extracted from "Post Office Requirements for Intsallations of Rural Mail Boxes"
"If you're an MTV fan, you like all the stuff that's on MTV. You like all the junk pop cultural stuff. That's how you know who you are and what to wear and what you're like. But there's another MTV viewer who says you don't need to tell me what's cool. Just put it in front of me." -- MTV President Judy McGrath on new videos-only spinoff channel M2 (NYT, 96jul08 pg D1)
"BASIC INSTRUCTIONS - Rotate body in circular motion against Hula Hoop(R). Hula Hoop can also be kept in motion by sideways action of body or forward and backward motion." -- Instructions for Wham-O Hula Hoop
Ester of wood rosin -- ingredient, Country Time Lemonade ("Jimmy, fetch your poppa a 2x4, this lemonade 'taint TART enough")
Medicinal Samples May Be Enclosed - Keep this and all drugs out of the reach of children -- bulk mail envelope
"God our Father, you led Abraham from his home and guarded him in all his wanderings. You guided him safely to the destination you had chosen for him. Be with us now as we travel. Be our safety every mile of the way. Make us attentive, cautious and concerned about our fellow travelers. Make our highways safe and keep us from all danger. Guide us to our destination for today and may it bring us one day closer to our final destination with you. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen." -- Sacred Heart Auto Club
"ITC Smack has an immediate, emotional hand-written appearance. Its raw, energetic qualities are arresting in all capital and upper and lowercase settings. Jill Bell's versatile typeface is a good choice for work targeted at Generation X." -- ITC's U&lc, winter 1995, on the typeface ITC Smack, a virtual copy of Ralph Steadman's script style
"The revolution will not be televised ... the revolution is about basketball and basketball is the truth." - Nike TV commercial 95oct29
The Sales Rep Stands Alone [page 3 start] (all go to stage)
[three pages later]
SINGER: WHEN YOUR NECK'S IN A NOOSE / AND YOU CAN'T GET LOOSE / FOR THE LIFE
OF A PIRATE YOU'LL PAY / FOR THE LIFE OF A PIRATE YOU'LL PAY!
So authentically detailed that even the emergency fire extinguisher has been replicated. -- Franklin Mint Precision Models: Richard Petty's custom-built stock car ad copy
One ball in any bowl wins live fish.
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD - This toy is a Marble. -- Mega Marbles packaging
"I'm very mad. I need this permit, and it's raining out here, and I'm very upset. I blame Bill Clinton. He shouldn't have let this go this far. This is horrible. And my umbrella's broken." -- Sekayi Basir, waiting outside municipal building after it was closed due to budget legislation stand-off (95nov14 NYT)