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Pig Parts: The Arizona State Fair 2004 (page 5 of 7).

Roller coastering w/friendly appliances.

rollercoaster w/appliances

Then we rode the roller coaster with our favorite appliances. This was yet another attempt by some public service commission to remind us that we're all wasting energy and here are some simple ways to save energy that you probably haven't thought of if you're currently a potato. Shade windows to stop the sun from coming in my home during summer? Total brilliance.

If it gets wet in your house at the slightest rain fall, perhaps you need an energy-saving "roof."

Place all your dirty laundry at waist-level so you don't have to bend to pick them up, thus wasting valuable "you energy."

Dishes have two sides. A plate with a shallow circular depression becomes a royal pedestal for your food when flipped over and re-used.

Seal your entire house in transparent plastic sheeting and sealing tape. Suspect everyone.

Food trailer not on fire.

food trailer

An adequate food trailer photo. If you would like to see fourteen thousand food trailer photos, you should observe the web pages collecting photos of the 2003 Arizona State Fair.

Food trailer on fire.


This food trailer caught on fire and was shut down. You can barely not see the smoke wafting from the far top of the food trailer. The fire department came out, and cordoned off what I like to call "Tub Alley" but is really called "Food Avenue." I also like to say the word "tub" in a low, drawn-out guttural voice. "Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuub ALLEY!!!!." Everyone had to walk in the back of the trailers on the opposite side of the alley I mean avenue, and one trailer had a bunch of boards behind it. I thought maybe they were going to build a porch or something but the girlfriend reminded me that that was the trailer in which you could have your name routed in wood for money.


Great polish display only.

great polish display only

I don't know what it is with this "Polish" nonsense. It's a nationality, not a variety of boiled/fried animal innards. This reminds me of the "Coney Island" controversy -- in Detroit, hot dog places are called "Coney Islands." My hip, cultural-literate NYC friends were all like "this is weird, it's the only place that does this in America" and yeah, it isn't "Nathan's Coney Island," it's just Nathan's. But there are Coney Islands here, in Arizona. Fuggin' hipsters.

Boat ride ride boat.

Boat ride ride boat

I never liked boat ride rides. I can understand driving around a miniature car or a motorcycle, but a boat? You're not even in the water. Feh.

Large monkey carnival prize.

Large monkey carnival prize

This woman has a monkey.

10:00am conference ride Room 29A.

Conference ride

This ride is called "Conference." You all get in and consider your agenda for the meeting. You're not going anywhere until there's agreement. Most of the time the ride never moves, but it's a good exercise in team-building.

One place I worked occasionally had super-high-level meetings just for the bigwigs. These were called "Group Gropes." Work is stupid.

Tango carnival ride.

Tango carnival ride

I like shots like this that reveal the power of amusement park rides and the inherent trust people put in forces much larger than themselves. And pay for the privilege. "I am attached to a giant mechanical arm that I have no control over. Got no problem with that."

Also: bizarre drawing. Huge part of carnivaldom. Madonna with non-litigious face/hair. But there's Sonic the Hedgehog, underneath tongue man. A confusing time for all of us. Hallo.

Waiting for bumper cars to start.

Waiting for bumper cars to start

Seems like you're always waiting for the bumper cars to start. Seems like that time is longer than the ride itself.

Sentient Life-form Shooter®.


This is one of those rides on which you stand up and then they spin it around really fast like a Salad Shooter® and you spin around then they tilt the whole thing. One woman on the ride was screaming and screaming and the operator kept making these little disgusting faces with a side order of eye rolls, like how dare someone scream on my ride.

I was lucky to get this shot because for most of the night I'd approach a ride while it was going full-bore neon lights etc and as soon as I'd get all set up the ride would either switch to scary strobe-light mode which meant that all of the rest of the lights were turned off, or it would quickly come to a complete stop. By this time, like last year, I was pretty tired so next year I'll just come at sunset.

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