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Arizona Deep-Fried State Fair (7).


Kutter Kaktus. We spent some time looking at the winners for the plant competitions, one guy had the cactus section sewn up. A lot of plants were wee little guys, this was about the only good photo from the lot.


Onto the dark rides (I just call any trailer with a dark section a "dark ride" -- purists have a more restrictive definition). In my highly pessimistic way, I imagined that this theatre consisted of endless public domain "Andy Panda" cartoons, or maybe just the one in which the devil forced Andy to eat a bunch of apples because he stole one from a farmer's field. I think it was some sort of anti-collectivism message borne out of the great depression. "NO JOBS HERE TRANSIENTS/ANDY PANDA KEEP MOVING" Hey, speaking of the great depression, everyone here ready for the next one? I have cases of pencils and apples ready to roll. I did my homework. Anyway, maybe that's what was playing. But how cool is that -- an entire theatre just for kids? With really low ceilings, smaller chairs ... nice. I mean, if that's what it's like inside. Small chairs, anything but Andy Panda, etc.

Clown Glass. CLOWN GLASS? What happened to "Hall of Mirrors?" This doesn't really make much sense to me, everyone hates clowns, and yet, somehow, things like this magically appear. There must be some sort of clown subsidy from the government. Someone hook me up with that.

Pelican garbage can. One of those things everyone enjoys. The anti-clown.

fun house

All of the fun houses look the same, especially the exit point, which is always the rotating tunnel. Of course they all have different themes, so for this fun house, the tunnel represents the digestive system of a baleen whale as it endlessly rotates about its x-axis while cutting through the ocean. I like that the fun houses go up two or three levels ... you know you're not just walking through one modified food trailer. Remember, always wear sturdy shoes and bring flashlights when exploring fun houses.

Nicely-designed kiddie ride. The ride actually travels through the Little Dipper to Saturn and returns, all for three tickets.

Wait ... six feet four inches? That's it? At this point in the fair we've already seen the Watered-Down-Factory-Produced-Beersdale Horses in another building, and they had to be 6'4", at least.

But I love the structure. So cartoony. This is exactly the reason I came to the state fair.

See how small the horse is in comparison to this massive steer? The steer is 6'8"! I ain't no rube.

"ALIVE" -- the ultimate carny come-on. If it doesn't carry the "ALIVE" trade dress, you know it's probably "STUFFED." Ignoring, of course, the ironic quotes.

Here we've got the cartoony structure plus the questions. "COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE THE STRONGEST PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD?" When you walk through this exhibit, you look down into the center of the structure. So if you're outside, a non-paying customer, you could easily communicate with someone at the same time they're looking at what just might be the Smallest Horse Ever. They could even use hand gestures to indicate the size of the horse out of the carny's line-of-sight. Photos could be taken. There's a way to beat the system my friends, step right up and see with your own eyes the way to not pay to see what could be the world's smallest horse.

I would like to make a cartoony structure that has a bunch of super-leading questions on it, like "WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORTH FIFTY CENTS?" and "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO, HERE?" and "QUITE POSSIBLY NO REFUNDS?"

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