PETA vs. Veget-Aryans: Final Battle.
In 1996, city leaders of Berkeley, California, decided they needed to RILE THINGS UP for their sleepy little town. Clearly what was needed was a "wacky" parade.
Yeah. A parade.
Just to make sure that everyone knew what the objective of this parade was, they named it the "How Berkeley Can You Be?" parade. Substitute "wacky" or "wild" for "Berkeley" -- see? Crazy-go-nuts.
That's also the first year People Eat'n Them Animals and the Veget-Aryans showed up. Every year for the past three, a group of people split into two factions to go to war over proper food consumption. On one side, PETA -- People Eatin' Them Animals. On the other, the Veget-Aryans. Crossed-carrot armbands, meat launchers, brownshirts, fire, combat, hot dogs and vegetables flying through the air. As as practicing pescatarian, I logically put on a white lab coat and joined PETA. I was a carnivore technician or something. Yes.Parade announcement.
Wacky parade announcement. The primary font is not crazy enough.
The parade has already started as we approach the staging area. In the distance: Matching remote-controlled couch and end table, guy giving out ties or something, all-male all-the-time cheerleaders in back.
PETA members prep important meat technology on the Doggie Diner truck. Please note juicy, dead-pig-head-on-a-stick in foreground.
Meat requires fire. Then the meat is edible.
An unstable member of the wisely-despised Veget-Aryan collective harasses your photo-captionist with harsh electronically-amplified whinings while employees from ZWLV Zombie Whiplash Victim TV speak to Dr. Culpepper about his battefield tactics and favorite color pre meat rout.
Meat people suck ... the delicious bone marrow of our enemies, I would think, no? Meat is Genocider™, the delightful brisket-based drink?
Drink ... drink in the photographical representation of the reviled leader of the Veget-Aryans on his little rolling podium. How so many could have fallen under his spell ... unthinkable. Unknowable. Natty dresser, though. All of that ... power ... I think I'll skip dinner, just have a salad and --- NO!!!! YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME! I DEMAND MEAT!
And the cooks on the Doggie Diner truck comply with my terrible screams instantaneously. Good folks.
Brave PETA members within striking distance of the Veget-Aryan figurehead subvert the group's vile propaganda via sturdy tactical cardboard.
PETA moves out on their most holiest of missions -- to educate the Berkeley populace about meat and meat by-products while engaging in mortal combat with any and all anti-meaty foes.next page (pg 2)