[ home | contact | archive | pixbarn ]

pay ya ten bucks to drink it

Do you think I was saving this? No. You are wrong. I just found it the other day at an estate sale. An over-crowded, over-priced, overly annoying estate sale. Clearly it is the gem of my Music For Music Listeners To Listen While To Foring collection or whatever it's called.

But still, dealing with the professional biddies who run half of the estate sales in this area brings me closer and closer to an uncontrolled outburst. A thirty-year-old oil can is not "vintage" and deserving of a price hike. It is junk, and no one will buy it at three dollars. You will store it in your warehouse, and I can only pray to the righteous and loving lord above that this item will turn out to be what firefighters call the "accelerant".

Speaking of smoking, this delightful album has a disclaimer on the back that reads: "Only will power will help you stop smoking. But this music may help your will power. It is so entertaining and the songs are presented in so fascinating a way that it will relax you, make you feel good, and keep your hand from groping toward a pack of cigarettes. Reach for a melodious bud ... instead of a butt."

So really they're talking about helping you stop legal smoking.