Akron condoms ($2240).
“They’ll circle the globe.” This is a claim that I think can be disproven in a court of law. You may have to open the doors to the chambers, and you’ll probably want to tie one end to the stand so only one lawyer gets smacked in the face when it breaks. There’s only so much condom-snapping lawyer-injuring mirth/good cheer one can take in a day. Lawyers.
Highest-selling condom tin in the lot.