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Search me! |
| The cardhouse.com server software includes a 'referrer-log'. That means our server asks your browser the last page you visited before coming to cardhouse. |
| Relax, we don't really care where you've been. |
| So every day I get a list of 'previously-visited URLs'. Kinda neat. I'm not sure what actual purpose it would ever serve, though. |
| Turns out, some folks come visit right after a porn site. If that's you, thanks for the URLs. I'll also try to put out some towels. |
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Most entertaining, though, are the search-engine queries. Like any software, search engines can analyze & manipulate data, but they can't think. So you may get referred to a totally inappropriate URL, just because a couple words match. Unfortunately, since thinking is a dying art, this is all many people have. For example... |
| Searching 'google.com' (or nearly any other engine) for 'monitor repair tips' will send you to the page where I destroy a monitor: Check the mailbag for folks who miss the joke and write in asking me how to fix their monitor. |
| http://www.google.com/search?q=monitor+repair+tips&start=30&sa=N |
| Likewise with searching 'google' for 'cell phone repair' : |
| http://google.netscape.com/netscape?query=cell+phone+repair |
| Here's an interesting one (sort of)- go to altavista and search for 'ravings flight vocal vagrant constituent'. You get me. Don't ask. |
| http://www.altavista.com/query?mmdo=3&nbq=12&stype=simage&oart=1&obw=1&oshape=0&what=web&q=ravings %20flight%20vocal%20vagrant%20constituent&pgno=4 |
| google-searching for a 'bra fitting site' will score you a link to my interview w/Dr. Ducky Doolittle. Why was someone searching for a bra fitting site? My intimate experience with perversity tells me they were looking for pics of someone else trying on a bra. I loved that Sears catalog when I was a kid. |
| http://google.netscape.com/netscape?q=%22bra+fitting%22&site=search&start=60&sa=N |
| Similarly almost-relevant, a dogpile search for 'tassel twirling' will send you to the Tura Satana interview- |
| http://www.dogpile.com/texis/search?start=7&q=%2B%22tassel+twirling%22&fs=web&ss=stop&tl=10&to=twenty&p=2&attrib=0 |
| we get a couple of these every day- folks looking for 'ham the astro chimp'. I had no idea what a cultural icon Ham was/is! |
| http://ink.yahoo.com/bin/query?p=ham+the+astro+chimp&hc=0&hs=0 |
| searching for a 'masturbation machine'? Somebody was, and google sent 'em to a 'metababy.com' page I posted & archived: |
| http://www.google.com/search?q=masturbation+machine&site=search&start=10&sa=N |
| I like this one. Search w/alta vista for 'marilyn manson is an asshole', and you get my review of an MM concert! |
| http://www.altavista.com/cgi-bin/query?pg=q&sc=on&q=%22marilyn+manson+is+an+asshole%22&kl=XX&stype=stext |
| Ironically, a 'secretary+spanked' search on the Italian 'Virgilio' engine points you to my critique of President Clinton- although he possibly has spanked his secretary, and the secretaries of other dignitaries, that's not what my essay was about! Totally out of context, yet eerily close to the mark... |
| http://search11.virgilio.it/search/cgi/search.cgi?db=gg&vrs=20&qs=secretary+spanked&op=and&ly=vs |
| More to come as I get the occasional howler. |