Deconstruction of QCat MarketSpeak

"QCat takes the work out of surfing the web." I never realized that surfing the web was work. I guess anything that helps you *hurry up and relax* must be a good thing. I mean, this statement must be aimed at a web neophyte (or idiot), since persons with even minimal experience (or intelligence) seem to have no trouble finding what they want. This is a classic example of marketeers creating a 'problem', solely to promote their 'solution'.

"CRQ technology is truly magic and installation is as easy as 1-2-3." Bullshit! Installation took about 20 minutes, which was spent either 1. Watching a 'cute' little video, like the ones the airlines show you about emergency landings. In a condescending, talking-to-kindergartners voice, a poorly animated cat w/glasses (he must be a PROFESSOR cat!) explains all the virtues of this wonderful technology (again) and assures us that our privacy is a paramount concern of the folks in charge. 2. Filling out a lengthy market-research questionnaire, including lots of personal demographics. I used a fake name and fabricated way-off answers to all the questions, but I bet most people didn't think of that. After all that came the actual software installation, which took about 1 minute. I think they called the process 'magic' so people would expect to be entertained, pay careful attention, and not notice the clock ticking away!

"With one swipe, the QCat reads any product code and instantly transports you to the corresponding web page associated with that product." Theoretically, that's possible, but I got different results. My guess is that DC offers a 'service' to website owners, charging for each hit delivered via QCat, and many firms have already overextended their marketing budgets by buying into e-scams like goto.com. As a result, most barcodes result in no result, possibly because the owner of the barcode didn't sign up for DC's service. That's just a guess, but I bet it's a good one.

"The QCat reader reads product codes instantly connects you to special savings, offers, video and more on the web." Here we go again, with the marketeers dangling an imaginary carrot in front of us. Special 'insider' deals! Only for those of us who are "in" on the secret of the QCat! Yes, here we are, an intimate cabal of a million or so QCat owners, and corporate america has such respect for our savvy, they're gonna give the store away to us! Of the few times I was actually delivered to a useful site by the QCat, no special offers were presented to me. In fact, no site even acknowledged how I got there! So much for being treated specially. But it sure sounds nice, doesn't it?

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