When I first found this photo, I thought it was hilarious on a number of levels. It featured two of the most over-hyped subjects in recent memory (other than the new millennium): George W. Bush and Darth Maul, of the Star Wars pantheon. I also found it ironic that the plot of the movie, where a crafty bureaucrat attempts to take over the galaxy through violence and political savvy, pretty much mirrored the reality of George W.'s campaign. Throw in a healthy dose of the whole Star Wars obsession with bad/good father/son stuff to round out the mix, and you've got a humor gold mine.
The readers came through, but not necessarily in the way I predicted. Of the 86 entries I received, only 19 of them referred to both G.W. and Darth Maul. The quality of the photo wasn't that great, so I can understand the 32 entries that only referred to Bush. Many of those mistook Darth Maul for the devil, leading to some very funny lines. An additional 32 entries didn't refer to either celebrity. Actually, this reassured me that even on the media-heavy internet, there are some people who have escaped the hype. Blissfully ignorant or just stupid? You be the judge.
Actually, except for the three Star Wars fans who only referred to Darth Maul, I found genuine nuggets of humor in all the categories of responses, so I divided the "honorable mentions" into each of the three groups.
Whew! That was an incredibly long introduction. Now, on to the winners. They were scientifically chosen by measuring the volume and duration of my laugh upon reading each entry. Obviously, my sense of humor is my own, but that's why it's called Dr. Berk's caption contest. So, without further ado,
The Winner Is. . .
Gore-Amidala ticket faces first serious challenge.
---- Paul Hughes, Seattle, WAPaul will win a random chemical from my secret attic laboratory! Congratulations, Paul!
Category 1: Referring to both Bush and the Star Wars mythos:At last we will reveal ourselves to the liberals. At last we will have our revenge.
. . . and the variant. . .
Soon we will reveal ourselves to the Democrats...soon we will have revenge.
---- Bruce Arthur
I don't think it's anyone's business how many Jedi I may or may not have slaughtered in my youth.
---- Sabu mark
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to Republicans.
---- Brian Provenzale
Category 2: Referring to Bush only:C'mon, just try to choose the lesser of the two evils. I dare you.
Half-life sized demonic King's Bishop to Queen's Rook Four. Take that, John McCain!
---- Danny Eness, Manufactured Home Owner
Bill had Monica, I have my own horny intern.
Bush finds a running mate chock full of family values.
Category 3: Referring to neither Bush nor Star Wars:Chrante Deti!
Special bonus points for the Cardhouse comedy callback! --ed
---- Danny Eness, Writer and Caption Prize Winner
AMES, IOWA 1961- Young Bill Gates made quite a showing at the county fair's math bee! Here's the little tyke getting well-deserved congratulations from this year's grand marshal.
---- Dr. Cliff
I'd like to thank the Academy. Really, it was an honor just to be nominated.
---- Brent Cox
(boy thinking) That better be his belt buckle...