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The Computer.
by Jon Ferguson

Editor's note.
The following is a beginning English college paper created by Jon Ferguson. The professor required everyone to create the worst possible paper they could.

The Computer - How To Program the Computer

In order to program "The Computer" (as us computer scientists call it, the computer, that is), one must first find a computer. Where would the computer be? You must think like a computer to figure where the computer would be. Computers think like this (in his 'mind', he 'thinks': "11011010001." Have you found the computer?

One of the most immportant functions to help you program the computer (simply referred to as "The Computer" from now on) is loading the accumulator (assuming of course, that the computer you are working with has an accumulator). To load the accumulator, you must execute the instruction to load the accumulator, that is the load the accumulator instruction ($9D). A note about passwords: one would normally create a password that isn't a common word, but easy to remember, (e.g. "SCH73EHER293AZ85ADE"). See? Good!

Be careful when you link, many errors can be included in a link that is not too, too good. You're about halfway done, now, in the steps necessary to program the computer; in more ways than one you have finished the other half. The keyboard is important, as well as Mr. Ergonomics. Have you found the computer?

Secondly, be careful when a modem was attached to the computer, for almost all the previous steps will change in one way give or take another; for example - when looking at a modem-supported screen, adjusted contrast aid the eyes in comforting. This would be the same had their not been a modem, yet.

Floppies. No heat. No pens. No water. No fingers. No smoking. Or water: pens neighter. IMPORTANT: You can not use a floppy too much!

Now I realized I was almost ready to begin programming the computer. Programs are where you take smaller programs and put 'em together to make one or more non-incohesive wholes. A good thing to check before writing a program is checking to see if you already have a program that does what you want to do with the program you were going to write that would the exact (or similar) same thing, vice-versa. This is called an application program, not by me. It is important to be excited about the program you want to write because programming is very, very, very dull, tedious and very boring. This is another good reason to use those application things up there AND apply them.

One thing I shouldn't even mention and have mentioned before is the necessity involved with plugging in the computer. Any questions?

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