Sure doo!
[Jessie James, WJNR’s “The Shopping Show” (July 1, 2000)]
While cruising the local radio dial in the Wisconsin/Upper Michigan area, we ran across something called “The Shopping Show” on Iron Mountain’s WJNR “101.5FM The Frog” (100kw 613' C1), hosted by Jessie James. Confused, then fascinated, we tuned in as loyal radio listeners called to get deep, deep discounts on merchandise (typically fast food or local events). On this station, coupons are referred to as “tickets” (terms used on other stations include “certificates” and “coupons”). The callers themselves each had an ID number so the host could record their savings. The DJ would occasionally confirm listener’s queries by exclaiming “sure do!” with “do” being held just a tad longer than my own personal pronounciation, making it seem 20% more peppy. What follows is a pasted-together paraphrasing of the typical conversations that took place on The Shopping Show on July 12, 2000.
Hello, do you have any more tickets for Tim’s Pasties?1
What’s your number?
73920.
That is four dollars, a seven dollar value. Anything else?
Any tickets for KFC pot pie?
Those are all gone tonight.
Do you have any tickets for the Hodag?2
No, I’m sorry.Do you have anything for the Swedish Pancakes Mega Breakfast?
Sure doo! May I get your number?
3561.Do you have any Doobie Brothers tickets?
I sure doo!
Okay, I’d like one. How much for the DQ ice cream sundae?
Ice cream sundae, 2.56 for 1.52.
Okay, how many tickets do you have?
Four.
I’ll take all four, then.
What’s your number?
2115617.
Utterly entrancing. “Radio Shopping Shows” are apparently a thriving
industry; there are many stations like WJNR across America that host a Shopping
Show segment, some as long as three hours each day. Shopping Shows ... catch
the excitement!
– Jeff Stendec (October 26, 2000)
1 A pasty (rhymes with “nasty”) is (for the most part) a sandwich-like dough pouch filled with meat and vegetables. The pasty originated in Cornwall, England, and arrived with the tide of immigrants seeking mining jobs in Northern Michigan. The pasty made for a convenient combination meal and package that could be gnawed on all day, kicked around, dropped down chutes to the miners by concerned familyfolk, etc. Hats off to the pasty!
2 “The WHAT?” we both said, and promptly forgot about it. A year later, I found 3,660 hits on google.com for “hodag” (for comparison purposes, the word “wax” gets 871,000 hits; “porn” gets 9,520,000 hits; the phrase “hodag porn wax”: one hita). “The Hodag” is apparently a local country-music celebration that also seems to feature marching bands. But the “hodag” itself is a mythical seven-foot horned beast featured in lumberjack lore as a creature that originated from the ashes of a cremated lumber ox. A cremated lumber ox. In 1896, a lumberjack from Rhinelander (Northern Wisconsin) named Eugene Shepard actually captured a hodag, putting him on display at the Oneida County Fair. Though the hodag bore more than a passing resemblance to a carved wood stump festooned with horns and a hide, the public ate up Shepard’s tall tales and the hodag legend grew. After the fair, the hodag was anaesthetized or something and dragged to Shepard’s home. Some say the hodag was so fierce that Shepard’s sons had to moan while moving the animal’s limbs with hidden wires. It’s not clear if one son was the designated moaner, or if there were multiple sons moaning simultaneously, thus properly emulating the ultimate ferocity of the dreaded hodag. The town of Rhinelander is now officially the “Home of the Hodag”; here’s a partial list of Rhinelander hodag-related businesses: Hodag Auto Sales, Hodag Bait & Tackle, Hodag Bar, Hodag Buyer’s Guide, Hodag Concrete, Hodag Express Lubeb, Hodag Guns, Hodag Lanesc, Hodag Learning Center, Hodag Sewing Center, Hodag Towing. It’s just a fun thing to say. Hodag. Hodag. [23-second pause] “Hodag.” So let’s see ... The Shopping Show, World’s Largest Replica Cheese, Carl’s Wood Art Museum, and the hodag ... the more I learn about those Wisconsin cheese weasels, the more I like ’em.
a
About a month after writing this, the online sport of “Googlewhacking”
was created – pushing multiple words through Google in the attempt to find
a combination that delivers only one hit. I am in the vanguard. Though
“Hodag” probably isn’t in the dictionary.
b
Triple word score
c
Clearly the sign of an omnipotent being
Tags: audio | exclamation | radio