SantaCon2000 Tips & Tricks

First, let me say that SantaCon 2000 will be what YOU make of it. Without creative energy, we'll just be a crowd of people in Santa suits. Here's what I call the Four Commandments of SantaCon, paraphrased from one of our SantaCon compatriates:

1. Dont' fuck with the police. Just do what they say, IMMEDIATELY. Out-of-control Santas have been arrested at previous events. You'll get plenty of attention without doing anything 'special', like shoplifting or throwing beer on a car. All the other Santas will catch flak for your stupidity (see #4 below).

2. Don't fuck with kids. Give them something to laugh at, and a dumb little present. Then leave them alone. One rampaging Santa gave a little kid a present wrapped in a Playboy centerfold. It was purely an accident, but it made for a very ugly scene with angry parents & cops. Show the kids that you can have a good time by being a kook, and maybe they'll grow up to appreciate something besides Britney Spears and Disney movies.

3. Don't fuck with the retailers. They'll be a little alarmed to see so many of us, and they'll be watching carefully for bad behavior. Santa-sholplifting led to the infamous San Francisco Police Report. New Orleans Police are probably a little less likely to over-react, but let's not test that theory, OK?

4. Don't fuck with ME. If you're going to do something stupid/illegal/fucked up, don't do it while you're dressed just like me.

So, with the ground rules laid down, what are you gonna do?

Whatever you want, really. There's a wide range of stuff to do, since we'll be doing a 'nice' part in the afternoon and a 'naughty' part later in the french Quarter. Some things that are happening (or that could/should happen):

  • Stickers & fliers to hand out-
    1. Santa's jolly 'cuz he knows where the naughty girls live
    2. Money's tight, life is hard, here's your fucking Christmas card.
    3. SantaCon: We like 'em nice and naughty!
    4. Various anti-consumerism messages (Christmas doesn't come from Citibank, etc.)
  • Toys and junk. I hit up Oriental Trading Co. for some cheap junk to hand out to kids & adults alike. Fake tattoos, stupid finger puppets, etc.
  • Toss out last year's Mardi Gras swag! Throw me somethin', Santa!
  • Name tags for everyone? Hello, my name is Santa.
  • A visiting SantaConner from San Francisco will be handing out 'foolproof' Florida ballots.
  • A charcoal briquet in a little paper bag is a swell 'naughty' gift. Generally, kids will appreciate 'nice' gifts and adults will appreciate the 'naughty' gifts.
  • If you know any naughty Christmas carols, print 'em and bring 'em. We'll sing 'em.

    These are just ideas for you to build on. BUILD!

    SantaCon2000 won't happen without you. Well, it will, but you know what I mean.

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