The jackass, in this case, is me. These are
snippets from a recent Bman newsletter (inexplicably called 'JackRabbit Speaks'), interspersed with my cynical
Welcome to the Jack Rabbit Speaks....etc....142 days until the start of
Yes, and CLOTHES, please. This is the brief 'intro' section which contains useful information. It is over. On to the next parts.
CAFE workers needed!
Hey, cool, maybe I can get a part-time job during my four days in the desert? I wonder what the pay is like... read on.
To accommodate our larger city population... acoustic music stages, and a
Couldn't we best help by just gathering there?
+++ NEEDED NOW +++
So, bring my art? Isn't that what everybody is supposed to be doing? Oh, you mean bring decorations for your center camp, so when the media lounges about, they'll just assume it's all YOUR doing. I get it!
= Decorators - Parts of the structure will have defined themes: an ancient
Excuse me, I'm pretty sure the 1800th century IS in the future.
We need a volunteer for each of these spaces to make them their
See above *decorating* comment. Also note the subtle introduction of the word *volunteer*. The LLC that operates BMan, that takes your ticket money, that has HALF A MILLION DOLLARS in year-round salaries on the books, is asking you not only to buy a ticket, but to help build their part of the event. It gets better...
= Electricians and lighting designers - Our structure will be only as
In other words, come work for us, but you're on your own.
+++ NEEDED IN THE WEEK BEFORE THE EVENT +++
Yeah, I'd love to further enjoy my vacation by working for you, for free.
+++ DURING THE EVENT WE WILL NEED +++
In other words, they need a staff of volunteers to operate the cafe which will be built by a separate staff of volunteers. Picking up on the theme, here? It's not just me being cynical- these folks really expect you to come build & operate their monopolistic little coffee-tent for them. Sadly, some of you will do just that.
+++ OTHER NEEDS +++
WE? WE didn't write this, YOU did, asking US to do your legwork scrounging up freebies.
In the past we have used vendors who were not part of the Burning Man
Translation: Anybody got free/cheap coffee & supplies that our volunteers can sell at the Cafe they built?
We ARE selling $145, $165, $185 and $200 tickets. ALL levels are
It's worth mentioning that these tix are all identical. BMan just gives you the option of paying MORE if you CAN. These people nauseate me. 'Please pay more if you CAN, so we can put better air-conditioning in our office! Thanks for being part of our radical social experiment!' It doesn't sound like anything new to me.
We are still finishing data
This is the NINTH mention of Bman Corporation's volunteer work force. These hapless wannabees probably think they are part of a social revolution- 'yeah, man, it'll all get done by volunteers! this is so beautiful!'
Meanwhile, the for-profit Bman
LLC is using volunteer labor to produce & operate their only commodity. Well, except for T-shirts & videos,
and that dreadful coffee-table book.
Urgent questions about your ticket order can be sent to
I can't even whine about the privately-announced very-low-price tix, which were snatched up by insiders for two weeks before they went public? OK, I won't whine about that [both middle fingers flying].
If you checked out the cafe page on burningman.com you'd have seen one
photo from this web site.
http://www.panmagic.com/panburningman.html It takes a little time to load
the page, bandwidth is a GOOD thing.
They guy probably can't affford such a nice web-server as you guys, since he pays his employees! Or do you get server-space for free, too? Does BMan pay for ANYTHING with our ticket money? I mean besides fattening themselves up.
oooooh, THE BUS! How Ken Kesey! Except the Merry Pranksters didn't rip people off and chide them into working for free, to be part of the clique. But at least a gratuitous Kesey reference will keep the drug-addled spectators feeling like they belong at BMan. Just like Fubu uses young urban blacks to lure their true target market (middle-class white kids), the few remaining participants at BMan are just bait to lure the true market- SPECTATORS.