Firstly, I had a ton of fun at burning man - but it's probably due more to the people I was around
than for the burning man experience. There's quite a few things that DIDN'T go over so well. Some things you need
to expect when there's any sort of crowd, especially one that's 24,000 people strong. But that in itself is most likely the biggest problem of Burning man. Too many people. Not enough...hmm...life?...juice?..ah whatever...there ain't enough of it anymore. Too many drunken idiots. Quite alot of these. They didn't have to be drunk either, or stoned or whatever the hell they're on. Let's just say too many idiots. Even that's making it more dramatic that it really is. The real problem is that there are too many normal people. There were about 24 thousand people this year, and I really doubt there were 4,000 of them doing ANYTHING interesting. And most of what those people did wasn't very exciting. Painting themselves blue...wearing a funny hat. Whooo-weee. Partee. Worse yet: "let's get together with mumee and dadee's money and build a big, loud RAVE camp. Everyone will HEAR how COOL we are and flock to us like lil moths! Word, Bro!". This year we were pitched in the middle of nowhere between TWO rave camps. I don't know if they were having a contest to see who was loudest, but I'd would've called it a tie. And the big deal is, I ain't Mr. Grumpy, rain-on-your-parade dude. If people were having FUN, I might not join in, but I can respect that folks want to get down and funky at burning man, even if that ain't my bag. But the thing is, neither of the camps attacted any more than, say 50 people, tops. And 90 percent of the time - yeah at night - there wasn't ANYONE there beside the camp occupants, standing around looking at each other, wondering if they should be the first to abandon their camp and look for something fun to do. Of course, the music continued on, despite that there might only be one dude in the geo-dome. The last night, one of the camps decided to cut out, but the other decided they should REALLY pump up the volume...to zero effect. No one came. They played their shitty music until 8:00AM NEXT MORNING. Holy shit. Let that sink in there. Have you tried to sleep next to a RAVE camp? It's hard. Usually, come 3 am or so, when you have to get up and take a pee, they've shut down, or turned it down, or they're about to do so. So when you get back to your tent, you can rest assured to be zipping back to dreamland pretty soon. Not so with these guys. Let say it takes you 15 minutes to fall asleep (as opposed to a normal minute or so). You wake up in about an hour later, because you're so restless from trying to go to sleep with that damn noise blasting away. Then you realize, it's still playing. So, you try to go back asleep, but it's hard, and it takes another 15 minutes to be able to drown out the noise. And of course you wake up again, because for christ sake, it keeps pounding and pounding. Earplugs are useless. This shit VIBRATES. Big bass, you understand, cranked up, specifically to achieve that great, rocking VIBRATION that people luv to party to. You flutter your eyelids in disbelief wondering what the hell time it is and then realize - the sun is fucking UP. No, not dawn. The sun is UP, over the horizon. And they're STILL playing that goddamn music. Are they human? Do they sleep AT ALL? Or have they fled the scene entirely? Running away in the middle of the night, letting the music blast away. A lone beacon in the desert - a monument to how cool they are. What the hell, its just a big stereo mum and dad bought me - and they'll just buy another one for ME. Hell, who know how much these fools spent on their awfully creative camp. I'm guessing over five grand. Big ass truck, custom geo-dome, wacky lights and not mention the stereo and at least two set of speakers. 5 grand, easy. Just on the camp, mind you, not counting food, and personal stuff. And they weren't the only ones either. Jocks, lawyers, fratboys, sorority girls, corporate fuck heads trying to pass them selves off as progressive hipsters for some evil or sad reason Normal people who just want to go out to the desert and look at all the CRAZY people, even though they seem to be a dying breed, much like an endangered species, really - leeching off their creativity and energy, just so they can go back and create a hip marketing scheme that will really impress the youth generation. Pepsi is cool. You need to by a big, fat SUV so you can go to a cool place like Burning man, where cool people, like me, go. I was there, man, its like Woodstock99, but COOLER. I think I saw the Backstreet Boys there, didn't you? They were doing the hula with Brittney Spears and Garth Brooks. That was really cool. |
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