Why Liquor, Firearms, and Slack?

If you don't already get it, reading this may or may not help.  Give it a shot, so to speak.

Liquor- alcohol use has a long, rich history, extending back at least to the dawn of recorded history.  In the pharaoh's sarcophagus chamber of the Great Pyramid, there's brewing instructions on the wall right next to vivid depictions of the expected afterlife.  No kidding, ancient Egypt had beer.  No wonder the figures at Carnac all have hard-ons.
    Let's not kid ourselves- a drink or two makes any hour happy hour.  I don't advocate driving or doing surgery after a few belts, but most day-to-day functions (including some jobs) get done just as well with or without a beer, so why not with?  Do you really need to be arrow-straight to do laundry or watch TV?
    As more people work at home (slacker's paradise!), I hope we'll see an increase in daily sippage.  It's another facet of the hidden economy- workplace theft. Working at home with a drink next to the bed, you're stealing your own faculties from the monkeys who've indentured you for a paycheck.  I love it.
  Firearms- Guns are part of our culture and our heritage in America.  How many other countries have provisions guaranteeing citizens' right to own guns?  That was a rhetorical question; I don't know the answer.  The point is, guns are fun.
    Why should only inbred conservative warmongers enjoy guns?  What's with liberal thinking, eschewing this fundamental right while railing on about other infringements?  Makes no sense to me.  Shooting is like bowling, except more violent.  What's not to like?  Plus, I don't really expect the local men in blue to be standing around, waiting for someone to attempt a violent crime against me.  I'd rather take repsonsibility for my own immediate safety.
Slack- slack is like 'aloha'- it means something different to everyone. To me, it's living on my own clock.  I don't rush to a 5am job-in-a-box so I can slave 12 hours for the man so I can get a little raise so I can buy that car so I can drive to the trendy club so I can piss my pay on overpriced drinks and spend fifty bucks forgetting my job for 3 hours and run home to get some sleep and start again.  My dignity means too much to me.  It's my way or the highway.  Or, if you're Chrissie Hynde, my way on the highway.
I took 5 years to get my bachelor's degree, then slacked for eight years before starting dental school.  I took a year off during school, to work at NIH, just because I thought it would be fun. I was right.  So, am I an underachiever?  Maybe, but I'm a hell of a lot wiser and more interesting than any of the overachievers I've met.  I'm taking a leisurely tour of life, instead of rocketing down the freeway.  That's what slack's all about to me.  Thanks for asking. 


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