21 Jan 1999- Yet ANOTHER "No Joke- PLEASE READ" email. I'm new to the internet (a 'newbie',
as the veterans say), and I've gotten six of these in the past year. It goes like this-
you get an email from a friend of a friend of a friend, who got this email from WALT DISNEY! Disney is working
with MICROSOFT to test this email tracking software. All you have to do is forward the message to fifteen
people you know. When the recipient count reaches *X* (usually 5-20k, depending on prank version), EVERYBODY WINS!
Everybody gets a trip to Disneyland! Wheeeeeeeeeee!
OK, I have a LOT of _issues_ with this.
- What exactly is Disney getting out of this beta-test of Micorsoft's software? I'll ignore for now the fact
that the WHOLE WORLD is Microsoft's beta platform.
- Do you really think Disney is going to give you a trip to their park, for forwarding email? Do the math, caveman.
Disney has more than *X* people on their payroll! If they wanted *X* emails to be sent out for any reason, they
could just get *X* of THEIR OWN PEOPLE to send 'em out. Dumbass.
- The thought of Disney AND Micrsoft doing anything together scares the shit out of me, and I categorically refuse
to participate voluntarily. This team-up can only provoke 2 sensible reactions- "I don't belive it" or
"I believe it and I'm terrified".
- So, even if you buy into the surface premise, wouldn't it bother you a little to get your email traced my Microsoft?
What is this really for? Privacy is hard enough to come by these days. I mean, if they could trace THIS
email, couldn't they trace ANY email? The implications are beyond Orwellian.
- Microsoft and Disney, the two king-giant shit-hawking master marketeers, corporate whores incarnate, want to
know who your 15 closest online friends are. This could be really handy if, say, someone wanted to find you,
or one of your 15 friends, or the guy who sent the message to you. Someone, you know, like the fucking federal
government, who is going to squeeze a HUGE chunk of change out of Bill Gates sometime soon.... what a clever bargaining
- "Well," says Bill, to the Supreme Court, "I know the fine is for 1.2 BILLION dollars, but I've
got something you might find interesting...yeah, it's a database of 20,000,000 people and their 15 closest friends'
email addresses, all cross-indexed and sorted 45 ways to Sunday. I call it WINDOWS 1984. Type in a name,
and get back 300 people who know him, or someone who DOES know him..." I can't sleep tonight, after
just writing that out. Where's my Percodan?