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Cardhouse
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party poker

RARRRRRRRR!!!! Rarr rarrrr rarrr meow rarr?
RARRRRR!!! Rarr. Rarrr rarr J-List rarrrr.

2008aug03. Mail.

I would like to buy some of your love sprays

Our love spray division was shuttered after several incidents of, how shall I put this, “high carnality” on the factory floor. “Shit’s too potent,” the pantsless division manager was heard saying some days before the line was finally shut down. Perhaps you would enjoy some of our candy cigarettes instead?

2008aug13. Mail.

How do I join this group? and what is the group offer? Thanks Paul

I like the easy ones, the ones you go “here’s a meatball pitch” and you just slide into the whole of it. I don’t even have to answer these types of questions. I just know that I could, and it would be hilariously awesome.

I am trying to locate a Food City in or near Peoria, Arizona, can you help? Thanks

First tell me where Peoria is.

I am interested in buying a case of Charles Shaw wine..we don’t have any Trader Joe’s stores in Florida ... Do you ship to Florida. Thank You

Y. H.
City, Florida

Yes, I will ship to Florida. The breakdown:

$24.00 Twelve (12) bottles of Charles Shaw
$30.00 Shipping
$50.00 Handling
----------------------------
$104.00 Total

Thank you,
Cardhouse Ro-Bot.

No reply. I don’t know what the problem is here, I gave her the retail price for the Chucks, and the typical ebay seller markup on shipping and handling ... Florida, I am aching to serve you super-cheap wine ... aching ...

I would like to talk to Danielle Brisebois, i would like to get to know her for i only seen her on All in the family and never knew what happened to her after that and my sister show me that she had become a real singer and she is so good and awesome!!! my name is kim

She is out right now, but I’ll tell her you wanted to speak with her.

I tried to open your websight on my girlfriend’s mobile phone and was disappointed to find that it did not render correctly.

Get a new girlfriend who has a different “mobile phone.” Danielle?

Thanks for the maps, you helped us out of a jam! Mucho appreciatedo!

I am not good with the Spanish but I think I helped you out of a jar of some sort.

hello there,

we are starting a web design company, but we cannot think of a name. do you have any ideas cardhouse robot?

I will use my brain to create names.

Mid-Atlantic (Pacific, Trans-Continental, etc) Electrical Telegraphic Network Ornamentation & Pattern Concern
Web 5.3 Design
Honda (you may have some legal problems with this one)
Webwebweb Design Co.
Webual Helps
The Poison Web Design Company (the sassy promo bottles you mail out will have clients wondering if the liquid inside is unsafe to imbibe. the answer of course is up to you ["no.” { or is it? (“still no.”)}])
Kitties!
The Web Was Much Groovier Back In ’99. Company.
G.O.L.D. Webkillers
Web Hash Browns (everyone likes hash browns to some extent)
Webwebwebwebweb Design Co.
Parker & Johnson Web Design (Parker is a no-nonsense, prim and proper “by the book” female web designer; Johnson is a reckless rough and macho male hard coder who could use an hour in an autoclave. This clash of hi/lo cultural touchstones creates a simmering, potent symbiosis laced with raw sexuality beneath their daily shouting matches. Will they ever learn to see each other eye-to-eye ... and perhaps even turn up the heat? Tune in every Wednesday at 9pm Mountain Time on ABC!)
Theraflu (more legal hurdles)
webstylelifeGO!
Make The Scene With Our Hot Shot Web Design Right Here Yes Indeed GmbH
We Will Design A Website For You Then You Give Us Money Then We Spend That Money On Booze Company
Flo’s Pet Store
Any Website for $19.99 And Up Brothers
The Web Oil Company (oil companies in general are doing quite well these days)
Butter Web Design (this would be like a novelty name; correspondingly, your entire office would be coated in butter)
Syrup Web Design (see previous entry)
Cement Tacklers (I don’t know what this one means)

Another thing you can do is take two unrelated easy-to-spell words and ram them together, so you’re right around the corner, google-wise.

Hotelmagnet Web Design
Pizzacouch Web Company
Couchmagnet Web Thing
Magnetpizza Web Discourse

There’s a myspace user named “Couchmagnet”? More legal consultations.

I’m liking the hotel thing though. It emphasizes solidity in my mind, which sits soundly in the “plus” column whereas the net is so amorphous, like aerogel (though in aerogel’s case, that’s a definite plus so come up with some other negatively-amorphous thing on your own time). Hotel [classy word here] Web Design.

Last multi-tip: don’t be dumb and make some sort of spelling pun. It’s all about what you think when you see the word, and what you hear. If your company name is a homonym/homograph/homophone/heteronym, that’s just ... ugh. “Lead Technologies” – good example of a horrifically stupid name.

2008aug15. PingMag: Sento: A Glimpse Into Japanese Bathing Culture. Guy with bucket.

2008aug15. Mail.

What ever happened to disco balls?

Nothing happened to disco balls. You got older (it happens to a lot of us), and you stopped going to the Danceteria. So now, you never see disco balls. I don’t even have to look on the internet to know that a wide variety of disco balls are available to you right now in exchange for cash (DURABLE GOODS!). You have to be partyin’ to see disco balls. The disco ball asks itself, “Whatever happened to that guy?” Meaning you. I stopped going to the Danceteria a long time ago. I used to get up on the platforms because it was less crowded, and the platform lesbians would rub up against me. Everyone’s a winner at the Danceteria. That’s the truth.

2008aug15. Magnus Pyke, the scientist sampled on Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me With Science.”

Although Pyke was known for bringing science to a lay audience, in The Science Myth (and similar writings, such as Slaves Unaware?) he was also a critic of how the citizens of industrialized nations have historically been lured into social conformity by the comforts and security offered by applied sciences or technology, and the associated industrial economic propaganda and advertising. This has entailed the loss of important individual freedoms in the name of an ever-increasing gross national product or standard of living, measured monetarily, with some associated negation of independent human values, common sense and individuality, family and community, health, safety and ergonomics. In his 1962 book, he uses the Greek myth of Procrustes and his Procrustean bed as a metaphor for how citizens are forced to conform to the one-size-fits-all rigid structure of the modern industrial society. He cites associated problems such as coronary disease related to diet, psychological and social problems stemming from work related stress and training, “ ... softly and persistently hammered into shape until – Pinocchio in reverse – from being a living creature ... becomes for forty hours an insensate puppet ... ” and educational systems, which “knock out of the ingenious adolescent all of the ‘nonsense’ of the young, this being most of his or her eagerness and ingeniousness.” However, the Western work environment fails youthful expectations to an even greater extent than the schools. “At school, success is judged in terms of work, whereas in industrial life this is not so ... ” after young people hasten to leave school for the benefit of the social significance of the work, rather than for the work itself, they find that “Work seldom seems to the worker to have meaning or worth ... ” and “achievement is judged by the pay envelope which may have no relation to the difficulty of the work.”

SCIENCE!

2008aug15. Special thanks to the person who generously jammed a bunch o’ cash in the tip jar awhile back. Verynicethankyou.

2008aug16. Friday. Not Saturday. It’s Saturday over there. East coast ... West coast.

Bruce Lee’s screen test for the “The Green Hornet.”
One Square Inch House.
Missed Connections.
• Pictures for Sad Children: Tiny kitten beers.
HU-MANS: I IMPLORE YOU TO INGEST MY SPACEUAL CREAM
• Dixie PerfecTouch. When you really need to use a sturdy washable re-usable container, why not use PerfecTouch instead?
• Taipei 101’s giant mass damper ball doin’ its thing during the quake. The music kills me. “La la la, hey wow that thing’s really movin’!”
• Semi-amusing: The Class of 1913. Scroll down to the table.
• Pictures for Sad Children: Poor People Have Got Sore Junk.
• Photo: quiero lluvias.
• Italy: Protest balls. Don’t worry, Katie Couric never shows up.

2008aug24. Drive out the blues with IPCO creamy snuff. How to apply and what happens?

2008aug29. Want: Fagor Portable Induction Burner. I could melt chocolate and butter together. No one could stop me.


Book: Animals in Translation Book: Pranks! Book: Adrift - 76 Days Lost At Sea Book: Secret Language of Sleep Book: Consider the Lobster