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RARRRRRRRR!!!! Rarr rarrrr rarrr meow rarr?
RARRRRR!!! Rarr. Rarrr rarr J-List rarrrr.

2007nov01. Achewood: The hot new trend ... children as infectious ad vectors. The accompanying text indicates that the cartoonist’s family received three of these business-cards-taped-to-candy-bars yesterday.

2007nov02. A Very Special Charlie Brooker (wiki) Friday Freeday. Mr. Brooker appears to be somewhat responsible for the sadly inert TVGoHome website and has a hand in all of these things and can be partially blamed for the also dead “Unnovations” Sharper Image parody which featured this bit that I personally found just wonderfully delightful. He is the host and the main writer person for “Screenwipe,” a series which is now in its fourth cycle (“Cycle 4 ... that’s for overweight adult dogs”) on the BBC. Let’s take a look at some, shall we?

Episode 1. TV from friend to enemy. [1 2 3]

Episode one has a quick cut-away of a magazine mock-up which appears below. I grabbed this special-like for a friend who is a sharktologist.

Episode 2: TV Credits. [1 2 3]

Episode 3: TV news. [1 2 3]. If you only have time for one segment, choose the second one, it features a short film from Adam Curtis (The Century of the Self). “We saw reporters outside the airport interviewing other reporters. In fact, if you were quick, you could amuse yourself by watching a van drive past Kay Burley then change channels quick enough to see it pass behind Jane Hill on News 24.”

Episode 4: Youth TV. [1 2 3]

Episode 5: TV reality shows – Who will be ... The Unloser!? [1 2 3] “At the moment, okay, there’s three of you. At the end of the day, one of you will be walking away with a prize. The other two are going away with nothing. That’s the world of competition for you. It’s not a cozy little world, it’s not the cozy little world you’re used to full of pom-poms and dumplings, no. It’s blood on the carpet. Concrete and piss. Jackals shitting in stairwells.”

Screenwipe Guide to TV [29min, chopped].
US TV [8min].

2007nov02. I ran across a more complete version of the Screenwipe USA special thing [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 ].

2007nov04. Green graffiti.

2007nov10. Book excerpts: The Big Con.

2007nov11. Mail.

I can’t find my socks.

They might be under your bellyachin’ from last month about how you didn’t like my attitude. Start with that, then work your way outwards from there.

2007nov13. Reading the label for Bragg Raw Unfiltered Organic Apple Cider Vinegar.

Directions, Ideal pick-me-up at home, work, sports or gym. Perfect taken 3 times daily upon arising, mid-morning and mid-afternoon. 1 to 2 tsps Bragg Organic Vinegar in 8 oz Glass Purified Water and (optional) to taste 1 to 2 tsps Organic Honey, 100% Maple Syrup, Blackstrap Molasses or 4 drops herb Stevia.

Okay. Back when I thought it might be a good idea, I was knocking down a teaspoon a day. It’s only now, years later, that I’ve noticed the large amount of text devoted to diluting the mixture and also disguising it. If you are looking to have some fun, try swallowing a teaspoon straight sometime. This would be the opposite of fun. It’s like a vector that guides you by being horribly wrong.

2007nov16. My Search for Donna Delbert by Teller.

2007nov18. Mail.

your an idiot

DEAR GOD YOUTUBE IS LEAKING

2007nov18. This is how Skynet starts.

On the other hand, in 39 per cent of cases the robots, despite being programmed to prefer a lighter shelter, joined the cockroaches under the darker one.

2007nov20. From a Cardhouse consigliere: X for All or Nothing. I found some more!!!! Hahahahahahaaahahahahahahaha ahem.

2007nov26. Cultural guerillas restore Paris “masterpiece” clock.

2007nov26. At the clinic today there was some guy in line ahead of me and he was telling the receptionist that he didn’t have a pulse. He was adamant about it and the receptionist was handling it like any other malady. They went back and forth on it for a bit. Little older than I was, organized with a folder and everything. I spoke with him briefly when he motioned me to the front while he was getting some papers. I’ve never talked to a zombie before. I guess my brains weren’t delicious enough for him. “Seriously man, this is grade-A chuck you’re missing out on. ‘Rarrrr’? ‘ArrrRRrrRRRarrr’? No?”

2007nov26. I think you know what’s good and right.

2007nov28. Mail.

used to love visiting your website, and i don’t even know why i don’t any more.

It is like a lot of things that don’t make you think much – it becomes “familiar.” After you read this twaddle for about a year, you can even write your own Cardhouse-type entries in your head, and you’ve probably just finished this very sentence before me. So what’s the point of visiting? I agree wholeheartedly. You wrote that one too, didn’t you, you li’l scallywagger. And that. You’ve got the chops, kid. I’m turning over the keys. You write this thing for me for the next week. Your reward: come on, you know this part. [prods you] “The satisfaction of a job well-done.” There you go.

2007nov29. Mail.

How can I get my URL listed?

[URL: somethin’ ‘bout JETS!!!]

Thanks Adam

Probably not like that.

2007nov30. Operation Cat Drop. Of course they had individual parachutes. Yes. Re-visit earlier Simpsons quote about freezing gorillas.


Book: Animals in Translation Book: Pranks! Book: Adrift - 76 Days Lost At Sea Book: Secret Language of Sleep Book: Consider the Lobster