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RARRRRRRRR!!!! Rarr rarrrr rarrr meow rarr?
RARRRRR!!! Rarr. Rarrr rarr J-List rarrrr.

2007may01. While in Detroit, I listen to 540 AM, Canada’s CBEF broadcasting in French and French. They may be saying stupid shit like “THIS THREE-PEAT ROCK BLOCK WEEKEND IS KICKING MY PANTS OFF” and other cocaine-fueled inanities, but I’d never know. Also, French is the language of love and you know how I am about that. I like love. I don’t love love, that would be pushing it.

Also it’s even more difficult determining the name of bands and songs that you (I) like since you (I) don’t know French. Things shouldn’t be handed to us on silver platters all the time. That’s how we get lazy and boring. You must fight for knowledge. Not like Keanu Reaves in the The Matrix who was given the knowledge of fighting.

2007may11. xkcd: The Glass Necklace.

2007may11. Mail.

I would like to bring to your attention that making candy cigarettes are inviting children to smoke eventually ... ..

I’m sure this applies to other filthy habits children engage in, like playing “supermarket checker” and “cops and robbers” as well. If we could just stop children from pretending to be cops, robbers, and grocery market cashiers, they’d never be influenced eventually. You will not stop my ultimate #1 candy cigarette production line!

2007may11. Cardhouse: Cross-Country Travel by Train. Plus photos. I may push a larger train journal onto here in the undetermined future, or I may not. That is how things go.

2007may12. Mail.

i don’t know who you are but please leave my computer alone. please.

You got it.

Where can I buy Dr.Mc Lean’s Volcanic oil. in the Chicago area. Thank you.


Finally! Someone who understands that nuts do NOT belong in brownies ... ever! I had a party last weekend. A guest brought brownies ... with nuts. I ask her. Do these have nuts? No. I inspected. They did not appear to have nuts. I took a bite. NUTS. I wanted to kill her.

A person brought a nut-infested dessert into your home? That’s a High Hate Crime.

Hello, Your site is great. Regards, Valintino Guxxi

Your name is great.

2007may12. Mail.

Valintino Guxxi, although having a great name like Asa Pillsbury or Michael E. Fisher (the Distinguished University Professor), appears to be a character created by some guy who probably doesn’t have a really cool name? Also I guess he likes a lot of sites. I’M SORRY TO HAVE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU.

Hrm. So ... theoretically ... first he posts his little innocuous message, then searches to see what sites actually post it, then he comes back and hits them with spam? I don’t understand the motivation here.

I’ve been saying this a lot, but can we just go back to 1999 again?

2007may13. Vending machine for crows: [1 | 2 | video]

2007may13. BE the sushi

2007may17. I finally got me down to the melted bridge in the maze to-day. I travelled on the one below it that was out of commission for a few days. For about seven seconds you could see the work being done on the span above. There’s a big vinyl sign hanging off the edge of one of the sides – it’s an ad for a company that rents out cranes. I started to write down the number but I lost control of my tanker and crashed into an abutment and well, you can probably guess the rest. I sorry.

2007may18. Cardhouse: Trader Joe’s FAQ updated.

2007may19. Free non-shitty vector art. Don’t know why it’s so hard to find quality vector art/icons. Currently under Dugg avalanche.

2007may21. Someone needs to make a little Clarence Thomas Speaks! online widget for websites. ALERT: Clarence has spoken an additional 27 words!

2007may22. Hoshi Saga. [via Jay is Games]

2007may22. The hot new freak-riding trip amongst at least one member of my inner fake posse is Idlin’. You have to have an automatic for this, and if you have a stick in the bay area you’re weird. The rules are simple – don’t touch the accelerator. Cruise down the street doing around five miles an hour. You’re Idlin’! All the pro-environmental teens are doin’ it. See how far you can get before someone honks at you! Watch bikes and joggers pass! Avoid collisions with minutes to spare!


2007may23. C’mon Ontario! Flick Off! Participaction!

2007may27. Here are some newly-added macros. Here they are.

<x> ... also: <x>.
<x> ... three.
<x> without a <y>
<x>, for breakfast?
<xn> formerly <x1 ... n-1>
ALIVE ... ALIVE (1995)
And in my homeland. (2000)
At the strip mall of death { again }
Audio Wars
Big beautiful women.
Botulism. Rat feces. Cockroaches.
Cockblock the mouth.
Dive, Tony, dive! Swim, Tony, swim!
Do you feel that?
Finger Waggle (1990)
Home town call! (1981)
I got better.
I like these.
I’ll remove his <x> for <n> dollars!
I’m a punk, that’s what I do.
I’m not an <x>, but I play one on TV.
I’m sorry!
It’s good, uhhhh feeling. (February 16, 1999)
Looks like we got { us | ourselves } a convoy.
My goddamned Animal Crossing. (September 2002)
No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent. (December 29, 1996)
Quack, quack, quack.
Sarrrrrrrs, matey.
TEXAS. (September 27, 1994)
That’s like closing the barn door after the horses have eaten your children! (1981)
These aren’t the <x> you’re looking for. (May 25, 1977)
Thinking about string
You take care of MY daughter.
Your <x> was murdered by another Jedi knight named Darth Vader, who went over the the Dark Side ... (May 25, 1977)
Your wish is granted, long live Jombi.
{ Hot Fudge, right on! } Comin’ at ya { now }! (1972)
{ Sorry ... } Sharers will be charged full price.
{ The black widow ... } First she mates ... then she kills. (February 6, 1987)

2007may31. Ask Metafilter: Air Traffic Controller job. After reading that, you can read Something’s Got To Give while listening to live ATC broadcasts.

Book: Animals in Translation Book: Pranks! Book: Adrift - 76 Days Lost At Sea Book: Secret Language of Sleep Book: Consider the Lobster