2007feb26. I sat at home today knowing that the package delivery service (PDS) was going to make a delivery. Somehow the guy snuck a note onto the door and split. So I was all like “I’ll sit around programming for four hours.” Then I went to do some errands and saw a PDS truck in the neighborhood. “I could ... chase them down.” I’m a fast thinker, on my toes. It’s not that I was in a hurry to get this package (it was one of those boxes that you open and a boxing glove on a spring comes out and punches you in the face), but the longer it was with PDS the more likely it would be delivered unto me as a pile of colored grit. So I hit the first truck and the guy gave me a quick overview of their “loops” so I could prowl, much like the shark (special for Brody), and find my prey. It’s strange how you can change your worldview so fast ... all of sudden, there were delivery trucks EVERYWHERE. You don’t notice them normally, sneaking around the garden, hiding in the pool, etc. The second PDS truck driver explained some more about the loops and the third truck guy got away while I was talking to the second. The fourth truck driver had my package and said some scammer once came up to him with a tag and the truck driver asked for ID and the guy gave him his non-matching ID. Wow, I guess that didn’t work out for the tag-stealer. The driver gave me my box. “Lemme just check this ... ” [FX: the narrator is punched by a concealed, spring-loaded mechanical device] “ ... uhhhwuhhh ... okay, we’re good! Thanks!”
I highly recommend this sort of game of “cat and mouse,” where the hunter ... becomes the hunted! Perhaps you can hide next time your favorite PDS comes a-callin’, sit around sipping your favorite non-alcoholic beverage for a spell, then go out and hunt the most dangerous prey ... man!
