2006feb14. Dr. Brody Culpepper weighs in on our Recent National Distraction, VP Cheney shootin’ up some lawyer food:
Whether Cheney will be convicted of manslaughter, reckless endangerment, a bone-fide accident, or a simple dust-up among good ol’ boys depends on three things: gauge of the shotgun, size of the shot, and distance from target (and oh yeah, what organ is hit).
First, the gauge, or width of the bore (barrel opening) is an olde-type system of imperial (non-metric) measurements. But as these archaic systems go, the make little sense, so the larger the gauge number, the narrower the bore. If indeed Cheney was using a 28 gauge shotgun, that would make it a bore diameter of 0.55 of an inch, rather than a larger 0.729 of an inch for a 12 gauge shotgun. Hence, if you need something for ‘home defense’, a 12 ga. will pack more punch, and you’ll also understand why the even bigger 10 ga. is called “The Roadblocker” in hillbilly sheriff parlance, and why 8 ga. shotguns are now illegal in the US. More importantly, the size of the gauge determines the width of the shotgun shell itself, so a narrower gague bore means a narrower shell, and a narrower shell contains less powder. This translates into less bang for the buck, literally. So, if Cheney wanted to snuff somebody, a 28 gauge isn’t the best tool for the job, but maybe that’s his modus operandi.
Next is shot size. This means the size of the pellets – or shot – that is blasted from the gun. A larger shot size means a smaller size pellet, but the more pellets that can fit into a shell. So a typical shot for quail is 7-1/2 or 8, rabbits would be about a 6 or 7, coyotes would need about a 2, and for deer would be a 00 (standard) which amount to about 3 large lead balls for each shell, and a single slug (illegal for hunting in most states) would be used to disable a police car (thank god that’s still legal, even with the steel-core lead slugs with the titanium tip). It’s important to remember that the smaller shot have less mass, and hence less velocity, and so travel shorter distances with less impact. Coupled with a smaller gauge, quail shot from a 28 gauge wouldn’t be a good tool to kill a Texas lawyer, and by 30 yards, the impact of the quail shot would cause wide but superficial damage to skin and subdermal tissues. It reminds me of a Rockford Files episode where a similar incident (that time it was meant to kill ol’ Jim) at a great distance equaled a painful 45 minute stay in an emergency room to have tweezers remove the pellets from just below the skin and the superficial gluteal muscles.
Lastly – the organ in question. Even a light graze from a 28 ga. in the face over 30 yards would be unpleasant, and except for permanent injury to the eyes, wouldn’t cause death. So, Cheney was not trying to cap some judicial ass. However, it’s likely that he was drunk to be popping a judge as a ‘mistake’. Having been in similar situations using low-gauge shotguns with several people in the area (for science, mind you), there are simple ways to keep your target-zone in safe control, so there was a serious break-down in safety protocol. That equals one VP who either doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing (unlikely), or is drunk with some redneck buddies in the sticks and loses control of his senses (likely).
As for the quail, the use of pen-reared quail to be released for shooting purposes is not uncommon. It is called a “canned hunt,” meaning that captive game are quite naive and are easy to shoot and ups the bag limits (and being captive-bred, there is no bag limit, whereas there is one for actual wild quail). The hicks that hunt this way aren’t into hunting for the skill, focus, and appreciation of the animal (as most ‘real’ hunters are), but merely want to shoot the shit out as many critters as they can, with a good BBQ payoff at the end. It’s like comparing seasoned fly fishermen to those cement-pond “no-limit” trout farms in the desert where you can catch 20 starved rainbows in an hour for two bucks each with your $7.99 Zebco pole & reel combo.