2006feb04. Doctor Cliff will be checking in from time to time with updates from New Orleans. Like this.
There are a few questions which are always asked, the first time you see a friend since the storm (nobody says “Katrina” except amidst a colorful string of profanity).
The opener is always “Where ya been?” which will get you some freaky tale of cross-country evacuation, or an even freakier tale of not evacuating. Then it’s down to business-
1. “How IS everybody?”
This is a thinly-veiled invitation to tell me who you know that died.2. “Where ya stayin’ at?”
The subtle presumption is that your former home is fucked. Answers range from ‘my house’ to ‘my truck’ to ‘mario’s couch.’ Housing is a strange bird here. There are not enough safe places to live right now.3. “How’s ya house?”
And there’s an established format for your answer: water damage first, then wind damage, then any 'special’ fuckage, then your prognosis. So my answer would be “2 feet a water inside, lost a little bit of roof, garage is destroyed, 2 cars in the driveway went under. I’m buildin’ it back.”4. “How you holdin’ up?”
This one is mostly ’are you still married etc’ but can also include answers from the whimsical to the overtly suicidal. Be ready to clink beer bottles or buy fresh beers at this point. This one’s just a courtesy question since you know how someone’s holding up the second you see them. I have a lot of friends who look 10-15 years older than they did in August.5. “Were you insured?”
Do NOT ask this question unless you’re in a bar, and you’ve got some time on your hands. There is no “yes” or “no” for this one. Get ready for some long, painful answers that will demand your undivided attention. the answer may not even be about insurance but maybe FEMA or SBA or the latest bitch-slap we got from DC. Find a cue to interject “geezus” or “fuck” and buy a round of drinks immediately. This is really THE question, more important than ’who died’ or anything else. Dead people are no longer issues- they’re dead and we’re still here. insurance companies, FEMA, SBA, these people are writing checks for the future of the whole fucking city. so this is the big one, the real reason you’re going through this whole silly dance in the first place.