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2005jan03. So one of the perimeters of the Cardhouse Kompound was leaking Chihuahuas to-day. The neighboring house has five skee-billion of the little yappy dogs, but most of the fencing is camouflaged by big Palo Verde trees which grow an infinite amount of branches that hang from the ground up. Finding the doghole in this morass was proving to be impossible, when suddenly we had another breach and the tiny dogs made their deadly assault. “BACK! BACK!” I yelled, and the dogs went right back through the fence, leading me directly to the hole. Chihuahuas: masters of strategy. Two cinderblocks and five thousand branch lashings later, peace has returned to the kingdom.

2005jan03. Deuce of Clubs: Spontaneous Ancient Literary Structure in Modern Colloquial Speech. With an important Call for Submissions and a submission in the “MP3” file format. If your resolution for the new year is to read one article, let it be this one.

2005jan03. 5IVES

2005jan03. Mail.

What do you do if the screen is pushed in and you cant see what you are doing? Please E-mail me if you can help.

I sent you a response, but you never got back to me. OhhhhhhhhhHHHhhhhh ...

2005jan03. Photo: French Market New Orleans.

2005jan04. Interrupt Pathological, Media-Simulated Social Interaction ... in your spare time!

2005jan05. Nothing happening at the laundro-mat right now. It’s 5:00am there right now, but tomorrow. It is the laundro-mat of the near future.

2005jan05. You can look at images from unsecured security cameras via this google search (via several people). I’ve got this Japanese laundromat COVERED



Oooooh ... spin cycle. See the tiny blue boxes at the edge of the frame? Washers. Keep me updated on the drama, I can’t watch this 24/7.

2005jan06. Okay, here’s the thing. I’m a greedy slob when it comes to browser history files. I want to see it all, even though I never look at it. I use Firefox, and I set it for 40 days of history file holdin’. Then for awhile when I was clicking on the “Go” menu, or even rolling over it, Firefox would freeze up like the frozenest thing ever. It also started doing this when I would open up any new tab. It would just sit there with a brand-new window for six seconds, then it would start loading stuff to it. So I used this handy extension called Compact Menu and I removed the “Go” menu from the menu line-up, and everything seems to be okay now.

2005jan06. Achewood: Philippe is starting on sugared cereals.

2005jan07. So this site is finding more unsecured webcams, and one of them is in Macau. Went there on the trip.

This is Leal Senado Square. If you look at the sidewalk, you’ll see that it matches the image from the camera. Same place.

Sidewalk again. I am sure you believe me now.

A moped shop. There are lots of mopeds in Macau.

This was actually an indoor arcade.

Dogs have their own special facilities.

Dogs have their own special posters.

“As your mailman, I’d like to advise you to step on a dogpile.”

The nice thing about a smallish Special Administrative Region of the PRC is that you can just wander around without paying much attention to the map. I ended up walking through The Area That Is All Hi-Rise Apartments Everywhere as the sun was setting.

Didn’t go to the Canidrome. Not a fan of dog racing. And that’s Macau!

2005jan07. Achewood: Fuck You Friday.

2005jan07. Flipping channels during the Ohio voting irregularity debate. One Republican said something like “You know what this is? [dramatic pause] Sour grapes.” Dayamn, he got right in there and solved the whole problem! He should get danger pay or somethin’.

2005jan08. Finally, finally, finally, finally. Pets In Uniform, a convenient multi-step process for your beloved pet. Makes a great Christmas gift that’s unbelievably late. Makes a great Easter gift that’s totally early.

2005jan08. Had To Happen Sooner Or Later Chapter XIV: Flickr Infected By Commerce.

2005jan08. Maakies: What is that, a DUCK-HAT?

2005jan09. There was some kind of accident – at the chemical plant? And we ran to the mountain to escape the danger.

2005jan10. Circus Punks made by artists. [via molly]


There are more cards. Four of them. All royalty, coincidentally. We’re rounding the last bend, here. Soon the deck of found cards will be finished, and then we can all jump off a bridge or something and won’t that make the evening paper that no one reads anymore.

Jack o’ Hearts
Queen o’ Spades
King o’ Clubs
King o’ Diamonds

2005jan11. Commercials: Always thought-provoking. Hardee’s new Fist Girl television advertisement, geared toward the 18-34 male w/small brainpan segment.

2005jan11. Ali G at the rodeo. [via waxy]

2005jan11. Today, everything is dumb.

2005jan12. Flickr: Porn-O gumball machines, Japan. This is the only vending-type streetporn I saw in Japan, in Kyoto:

2005jan12. Oolong the rabbit. Oh, you are missed.

2005jan13. Apple introduces the iProduct. About freaking time, I’m jonesing here.

2005jan13. Household burglar alarm record player, 1939. “Help, help, the house at 927 North shhhhk 927 North shhhhk 927 North shhhhk 927 North ... “

2005jan13. Oops. Oolong’s actual homepage. With new rabbit Yuebing.

2005jan14. Ooooh, look: advertising. Well then. Okay. So ... there it is! Mmmmhmmm. Lookie there. [hangs head in shame, runs away crying]

2005jan15. Flickr: Locked in love.

2005jan15. Okay, to sum up: the new CSS format is mauled by IE5 and IE6, perhaps just on 800x600 screens – and some people who are experiencing these problems are being nice enough to try to drag me through the Doorway of Perception.

2005jan18. No Loitering. Observations.

2005jan22. I am reporting live from the National Association of Music Merchants show in sunny, horrific Anaheim. Home to Disneyland, Anaheim has become a surreal cultural black hole of donut/hamburger shops, theme parks, and not much else. Through some odd non-debilitating stroke of good luck or simply because we had cruised every single street in the city, we were able to find what a local weekly had rated the “best dinner joint” in Anaheim that also featured waitresses on rollerskates. Not the best dinner joint with waitresses with rollerskates, the rollerskating bit was not considered for the final rating. Anyway, NAMM is like every other convention but now imagine you’re standing in an aisle and the enormous drum area is to your left and the enormous guitar area is to your right and millions of musicians are testing drums and guitars over and over again and then add in every other instrument you’ve ever seen including some you haven’t like the V-Accordion and you start to get some sort of idea of how large an ideal pair of earplugs would be. I saw a small child sitting down at the NAMM cafeteria wearing a giant pair of headphones, but that didn’t protect him from the wrath of Aramark. “You’re trapped like animals. Aramark.” That’s their slogan, I swear this to be true. I had a substance somewhat resembling a turkey sandwich and my friend ate his $1.50 apple while we sat at a table with a pasty businessman and a semi-rastafarian and we all came together over the amazing shittiness of this lowest-bid food service company. In summaration, Anaheim is a cancer that is somewhat contained by more interesting surrounding areas. Aerial bombing would provide the citizens a way to band together and improve their community once it is razed, or they could just put little ribbons on their cars, either way. (see Massive NAMM fotojournal)

2005jan25. Sunday just off Santa Monica beach. There is a fence partially blocking my view. I’ve just turned away from a large mass of seagulls feeding on discarded lobster – smaller pigeons were staggering at the periphery hoping to snatch some food away. A young man with long, straight black hair, a semi-haggard face, and a black leather jacket approaches me. He motions to the shoreline. In our line of sight is the fence, the shoreline, the seagull mass, the beloved Santa Monica Art Tool, Veterans for Peace crosses, and the distant end of the Santa Monica pier. There is no one in sight.

“What’s this guy doing?”
“What guy?”
“This [motions again] guy.”
“The crosses?”
“No, this guy.” [motions]
”Santa Monica?”
“No ... what crosses?” [squints]
”It’s Veterans For Peace.” [steps away]
“Oh, okay.” [leaves]

2005jan25. NEWS FLASH: Phoenix water contaminated

2005jan26. Catching up on mail. Oddly enough, it’s mostly all about my growing, pulsating candy cigarette business. Thus:

I am unable to find your candy (cigarette) sticks ANYWHERE around my home! We are desperate. I am a 46 year old father of four and I won’t even share these things with my kids! :)

Yeah, I can’t find them anywhere around my home, either. I searched in the bathroom earlier to-day. Nothing.

Can I order directly from your company or can you please tell me somewhere near my town (area code 44514 – Youngstown, Ohio) that I can find these. The stores I used to get them from have replaced them with nasty tasting Necco brand!

Actually I rather like the Necco brand, as far as sugar-based candies go. They remind me of the wafers. Probably the exact same thing. But I don’t eat much candy anymore. I’ve found that I’m more interested in creams, like Boston Creme Pie, tapioca pudding, etc. But I don’t eat a lot of that, because if I turn it into a habit, I’ll balloon up and never be able to fit between the steel bar gates at the tire factory. And I like me the tire-selling side job I got going, thank you very much. Though now they’re going to roll (haha) out those new airless tires. Those might be harder to fit between the gates. So you can see this is a common problem.

Please help!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I am commiserating with you. I set myself on fire to understand your pain. I have to go now, the flesh is falling off my arms.

Tink “Cuddly Jr.” Galoshenski
Public Relations Department.

2005jan26. Day Two of Phoenix Water Problems. There is “no bacteria” but we are being told not to shower, not to wash the dishes. These interruptions in the social order can lead to chaos – if I am not clean, why should I go to work to-day? Will I have to slug a fellow shopper in the nuts to get that last precious gallon of bottled tap water? Clearly this simple, unassuming molecule (H1.5O) is the secret lynchpin of our modern way of life and we as a people should come together to OH MY GOD STARBUCKS CAN’T MAKE COFFEE

2005jan27. Achewood. Always essential.

2005jan27. Sheriff’s bus. Los Angeles.

2005jan27. There have been scientific studies conducted – if I’m remembering this correctly – that indicate if you spend your day smiling, you cause your mood to be upbeat, even if there’s no reason for it. I tried that for awhile, but smiling on command – even my own – has become nearly verboten after years of work-related requests to “smile.” You know, a co-worker sees you in the hall, and you’re thinking ‘bout your dog dying, and they say “smile” and you just want to run them up and down with the nearest sharp thing. So what I’ve been doing instead lately is yelling ”YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” about an octave up. It’s corny, but it seems to work. Except when I’m in an elevator with other people, but luckily I’ve mostly avoided that type of scheduling conflict. Hrmmmm ... that would be interesting.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION #217: Spend one day – all day – in an elevator.

2005jan27. Cora’s Coffee Shoppe sign. Santa Monica. My most favoritest sign in recent history. I mean, other than the “Shoppe” bit. I mean, the word “Shoppe” not the neon “Shoppe.” The way that I get around this disconnect is to look at the signs upside-down. Then, after I take a photo of them upside-down, I flip them in [generic image-editing program].

Sit in the driveway for eight hours, patiently, patiently ... PRESTO!

Cora’s has been around for 67 years, and according to one worker, the sign has been on all that time. Day, night. There’s a web document floating around that indicates the Santa Monica City Council has declared this sign (and several others) to be “meritorious” which means something like “oh, be so very glad your local government hasn’t decided to zone it out of existence.” Three cheers for government!

2005jan27. While I was on vacation, apparently someone was sworn into office. Unfortunately my curiosity got the best of me and I’m catching up on the “news.” Titivil with the analysis.

2005jan27. Seagull tracks. Santa Monica.

2005jan27. Bob gets government ID. [via doc]

2005jan27. Stephen Colbert of ‘The Daily Show’ on Fresh Air. It would be awesome if they just cut out the Qs and left the As. If the program isn’t loading for you, perhaps this alternative hand-crafted direct link will help. You don’t see that kind of attention to detailing on other websites these days. Marquetry ... Parquetry.

2005jan27. Mail.

I like to distribute toys in Puerto Rico. i like to start my own business. Please send me information.

2005jan27. Mail.

you have found large graphic images which have to be send electronically to the other members in my group.

i)state one possible problem associated with this process
ii)Describe how this problem can be overcome

2005jan28. Spotted a roadrunner in the yard today. There aren’t that many around here, so this is indeed a glorious occasion. If I can make the roadrunner continually return here, it would gladden my heart. I quietly removed myself from the area and got some carrots, tortillas, and pineapple chunks. I sat down 15 feet from it, hefted out a bit of each. The roadrunner came a few feet closer, bent down its head, and made a soft call. “Thank you for this bountiful feast,” it said. “I will return each day.” The roadrunner took the carrot in its beak – and spit it out two seconds later. It avoided the tortilla pieces. It pecked at the pineapple, then scampered off into a tiny wash, fluttered up to the fence, back down the other side, and trotted off.

Roadrunners are habitual liars. You have to watch out for that.

2005jan28. CANJO ... CANJO! LUNCHBOX! CANJO! See, I’m still remembering those gas can ukes that were somewhere on the web only a few months ago, made by some guy in Tucson. Can’t find him, the web page, the gas can ukes, nor my ass. So help, if you can. “Canjo.”

2005jan28. So I was talking with someone about buying Compact Flash cards for my camera. I said I wanted at least one card that was blazingly fast, so I could use it during night shoots and/or when I knew I had to click off a bunch of shots in a short timeframe, say while on a secret spy mission. He indicated that he was also looking for such a card, but that he couldn’t find any sort of comparison on the web. I believe him, since he is an old hand at this. Part of the problem is that google results are drenched in end user sales sites for pretty much anything you type in. I can find reviews of individual cards, but I don’t feel like trudging through twenty sites just to get 20 datapoints. I’ve already purchased way too much in the way of SanDisk and Viking cards, apparently the former is the slowest card one can buy unless one resorts to wood. And those wooden CF cards heat up pretty fast.

2005jan28. Flickr: Red umbrella.

2005jan29. While in Phoenix, I ended up at Bonzai, which is a Japanese 99 cent store, and I’m smacking my forehead here, because I should have thought of this a long time ago. See, in regular 99 cent stores, there are all these little plastic containers, and I need little plastic containers. But they’re always just barely functioning, and you know they’re going to break a week later. But at the Japanese 99 cent store, there are all these little plastic containers, and they seem pretty durable. I purchased a few different sizes/styles, including my favorite, the “DUAL SEPARATE BOX XC-148” ($1.69) from Izumi, which is really for fishing tackle. It’s the size of a thick paperback, clear plastic with a clip-on strap, and has eight compartments, four on each side, with two locking hinged lids – one on the front, one on the back, accessing four compartments each. Got it? Because I’m not taking a photo of it, I promised myself I would only obsess about it print-wise. Anyway, I’m using it in my motorized conveyance to hold lozenges, change, various pills, a spare tire valve stem cap, emergency first-class stamps, a lighter, a pocketknife, bandages, needles, folding ruler, and extreme hygenic outer ear swabs. Though apparently now ear doctors are saying you shouldn’t stick anything in your ears. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to clean your ears now. Ears candling?

I’m still looking for a nice cheap little plastic container for my Compact Flashcards (5) and rechargeable AA batteries (8-12) for my camera. I’d like to get something shaped sort of like an abbreviated pencil case so it could fit in my pocket along with the camera for surreptitious shooting. Not that I do that.

2005jan29. Vacation all I ever wanted, vacation have to get away ... . So you’re halfway into your vacay and some mean old tsunami wipes the whole place out. Just you never mind. [via geisha asobi]

2005jan29. I like flickr but I don’t like that the photos are wrapped in a layer of Flash so you “can’t” save them to your hard drive when actually you can by taking a screenshot. I’ve been spending some time looking at photo web|ogs and I like the big big photos so much I’m going to start making larger photos available here but I haven’t decided how that’s going to happen because there’s still a little part of me that wants to cater to the dial-up people seeing as I’m one of them. But it sure ain’t going to be wrapped in Flash. [puts right arm in crook of left arm, lifts left fist upward in strong snap-like motion].

2005jan29. The girlfriend wanted to purchase a birthday cake for me for my birthday because I had a birthday which coincidentally is very close to the anniversary of this web|og which is now SIX years old put that in your pipe and save it for later. It was a cake that had this weird matching funds thing where if you bought a cake for n dollars then another n dollars was magically donated to various zoo animals for a new basketball court or some such. So she called up the place and said “it should be free of nuts” because Jesus, this is like my cake, right? And it’s a big cake, three layers of cake. She goes to the place when the cake should be ready and they don’t have any nut-free cakes ready. But the cake chef says “I’m really sorry, I’ve got one that just needs to be frosted, and that will be your cake,” and the girlfriend goes “okay” and the cake chef frosts the cake and then gives it to the girlfriend for f r e e because she had to wait around six minutes for the cake. See what joy a nut-free life is?

So I guess the zoo animals got the royal screw job, there [puts right arm in crook of left arm, lifts left fist upward in strong snap-like motion].

2005jan30. Mail.

Hello yes i was wondering if you could help me i washed my cell phone and i was wondering if you could fix it or refer me to someone.

Thank you

I may not get the coolest email messages, but I certainly do get ... no, there’s no upside to this.

2005jan30. Cannot get enough of Overheard in New York.

Dude #1: I’m gonna stand up as I turn. I’d like you to kick me in the nuts. The idea is to black out, end up in the hospital, and push this off on someone else. Ready?
Dude #2: I was born ready.

2005jan30. Mail. See what happens when you thump the armrests in a spastic manner? A solution is revealed. Or, as Willow once said on “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” ”REVEALE!”

Dear Cardhouse Robot,
Actually, you *can* download and save Flickr pix. The Save Options are under the terribly unhelpful heading “all sizes” link on each individual photopage. That being said, folks can then download each pix in a number of sizes from thin to massive options that Flickr automagically creates.

2005jan31. Mail.

Dearest Arm Flapping Robot

Not every public photo is downloadable because Flickr separates these options into: Photo Privacy and Allowing Downloads – both of which should be at http://www.flickr.com/account/. Well, they are for me but I coughed up for the pro service. I think the pro account gives you the option to share original images. And adding Creative Commons designations also changes things somewhat – I seem to recall reading that a public CC license can trump privacy settings.

Where did I read this? I have no clue. I am quite fond of Flickr but their product’s documentation and options are all over the place.

Also here are some more photos of various Domo-Kun products. Really not interesting to those who are not interested. Also features new huge photographs, sure to please dial-up party people.

2005jan31. Although you can save off photos from Flickr with the “All sizes” link, sometimes that link does not appear, although the photo is tagged “public.” [looks for armrests]