2003nov28. Mail. Bag.
i am very upset wih your candy. melted ... How can that happen ????You oew me n new bag of candy.
street address
If I oew you n bags of candy, I need to know the specific value of n, that is, the number of bags I oew you. If one train is in South Carolina and another train is in Oakland California headed toward each other and both are travelling at a combined speed of 173mph, what are the chances that I will mail you n bags of candy? Now let’s say n – 2 bags of candy are on one train, and n bags are on the other train.
Good god almighty. I have looked high and freakin’ low for some useful tips on cross-country moves (I already know to check with the BBB regarding movers thank you very much). And then you. And Amtrak Package Express. Gracias.
Interestingly, we are moving from South Carolina to Oakland proper. Are you still in the area? Shall we cook you dinner?
Okay, now let’s say you have a large bag of candy trains. Given that amongst n – 1 black candy trains there is one white toy train, what are the odds that if you select three candy trains out of the bag, none of them is white? What if the bag is transparent? What if it says “choking hazard: this bag is not a toy” on it?
I was just in Oakland yesterday. But now I am not. I flew away in a magical metal bird.
Thirteen Ways of Looking
at a Cardhouse Photo (With apologies to Wallace Stevens)
1. A ghost
in the machine
2. Recycling the structure
3. Oblique
strategy
4. Near plywood
5. My grandfather learned
to live out of a Dumpster during the Great War.
Okay so maybe there are only 5 ways. The perspective is fudgy and so therefore based on the belts and switchboxes and other thingamajiggers and the proximity to Halloween I’m guessing it’s some part of a Samhainish amusement. Like maybe it rotates, that round drum-ish thing looks like a burner, maybe the arms at the top rotate because of heat. Or maybe it pops forward through what looks like a hole in the wood. I can’t tell from the perspective though. Maybe it is part of an elaborate, mechanized, educational diorama about paramecia or sperm.
Cardhouse is great. Like NPR, it is one of my reminders that the world is not all-the-way crazy. Now if only some McHeir would give you a buttload of money.
Actually as it turns out, that photo (down below) is the inside of an “obstacle” at a miniature golf course. The entrance to the hazard is about 15 inches wide, and the ghost is apparently supposed to deflect the ball but it’s on a little chain and there are only three of them and they’re tiny and the belt to the motor is slicker than a grease-soaked politician so the whole contraption doesn’t turn around at all though the motor runs. It’s a good representation of the miniature golf course as a whole – I think I had to shag my ball (note to UK readers: ha ha) from bizarre little dead spots on the course every three holes. It’s sort of the functional equivalent to the store that forgot to care.