2003feb08. I went to a job interview today and at one point the guy asked me what my “ideal job” would be. And I thought back to a few nights ago, when I was shopping in a local supermarket. I sort of zoned out, like everyone else does, while in the check-out lane, staring very intently at a cubic foot of air approximately two feet in front of my knees – and I heard someone addressing me with a noun.
“Noun?”Finally I woke up.
“Two-syllable noun?”
“Cheesecake?”It was some sort of in-house promotion. Someone got to wheel a cart around feeding people cheesecake. So of course I was all like “Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes” and she gave me a nice large piece of cheesecake on a plate, with a fork. That’s my ideal job. Giving people free cart cheesecake. So I told the guy it was either that, or starting up an underground parking resistance cell that produces a steady stream of people for meter maid jobs and they never collect the money and get fired on purpose and then the next person hired is another member of the cell which I call the Unmeter Maid Cell. I didn’t think that was enough, so I belatedly added “clown stabber,” which probably pays pretty good.
“Cheesecake?”