In Bolivia you can get cherimoya ice cream, which contains the (inedible) seeds of the fruit. Taking a bite of ice cream and then having to spit foreign objects onto the sidewalk is about as wrong as you can get.

-- Defective Yeti

Nuts to Nuts

I personally have never understood the need to put nuts in any food whatsoever. I'll leave the dessert forum to you, but personally, my general rule is “No nuts, no how.”

I can’t count the number of otherwise fantastic meals (especially around the holidays) when I’ve sat down to what I thought was going to be a great serving of stuffing only to find that there were almond slivers mixed in there. (At this point it should probably be known that I think almond slivers are satan’s minions.)

Cereal is another food that seems to have been invaded by nuts. Wheat flakes, bits of fruit and almond slivers or walnut clusters or pecan chunks. Cereal should eventually end up slightly soggy in your milk. It should not end up as a bi-level conglomeration of slightly soggy stuff on top with hard nuts underneath. Fortunately, these types of cereals tend to be on the top shelves at your grocery store. So, if you’re like me, your eyes need never see these offenses to nature if they never rise above the level of the Cocoa Puffs.

I suspect the Chinese are at least in part responsible for this epidemic. They seem to thrive on adding peanuts and cashews to everything. Fortunately, peanuts and cashews are easy to pick out, it’s those damn almond slivers that ruin a dish completely. (I will also admit that I do usually eat the cashews. Of course, I eat them separately and apart from whatever dish they came hidden in.)

Lest people think I am just a big ‘hater of nuts', let me say that it is untrue. There’s nothing better than a handful of salted cashews while sitting around the table playing cards. Honey roasted peanuts are a marvelous treat. And how many fond memories do I have of breaking open hard shells with a silvered nutcracker, while watching football in Grandpa’s living room.

It’s just that nuts are not a embellishment to anything else. They are a self-standing snack and should be left that way. It is not an advantage or plus to any dish to have to stop and chew up a hard, hidden intruder, when all you wanted was a forkfull of stuffing slathered in gravy.

5cott

Either you need to make an exception for pecan pie or face armed rebellion. Maybe if the pastry is over, oh, 75% nuts – wherein nuts are an actual ingredient instead of just filler – then nuts are allowed. Because I am willing to kill you over pecan pie. – Greg