2002mar07. Mail.
T H E R E C T O R C O M P A N Y
204/7,FAIZ ROAD,KAROL
BAGH,NEW DELHI-110005
Patent & Trade Mark Attorneys
Dear Sir(s),
We take liberty to introduce ourselves that we deal in intellectual property rights.
In the present era of globalization, you may wish to market your products in INDIA and would like to seek statutory registration in INDIA and to seek proper protection of your intellectual property rights through legal proceedings.
In case you feel so interested you may contact us for the purpose and we assure you our sincere services at reasonable professional charges.
Please do not delay and let us protect your Rights well in time.
Thanking you and assuring you our best co-operation at all times.
WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS 2002.
for THE RECTOR COMPANY
(Ms. A.PRABHAKAR) MANAGER
Please Contact at : [user1 email] or [user2 email]
Hello, and good welcome, Rector Company!
I have recently received your email via my lovely website. I am now responding to that email. I have CCed [user2 email] per your email instructions.
Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to tell you to cram your entire company up your ass. Now, the problem here is that this message is going out to _two_ of you, so you’re going to have to split the company in half. I suggest that the more senior of the two of you take on most of the physical aspects of your corporation (buildings, vehicles, etc), whereas the junior member would cram most of the logistical and non-material holdings up his (or her) ass (marketing, the idea that I’d be remotely interested securing the services of a patent lawyer in fucking INDIA, etc). I don’t have any damned products to market in INDIA and if I did have some products to market in INDIA I’m pretty sure I’d go to an INDIAN phone book and pick someone out of there. I mean, except for the RECTOR COMPANY which seems to be having a little problem (here I mime the universal symbol for drunkenness [the “tipping the invisibile bottle back while making a ‘gluck-gluck’ noise” gesture]) with unsolicited, horrifically useless email.
WISH YOU MUCH PAIN AND SUFFERING 2002. BOILS, INJURIES, MONKEY MAN ATTACKS, DISEASE.