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Cardhouse
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party poker

2001may06. Rolling Ball Sculptures.

2001may10. Tucker repros. Only $150,000. Get them while they last. Pick me up one while you’re at it.

2001may11. Interview with Tristan A. Farnon of Leisuretown.com [via peterme]

2001may12. Graffiti. Paris 1968. Everybody in the house, lemme hear you say HO!

2001may12. Article on talk show boot camps for (mostly) “wayward” teenage girls. Having a problem with your teen, America? Call in the military!

2001may13. The Truth About Vinnie.

2001may13. I hope you called up your mom and wished her a totally rockin’ mother’s day. I got the answering machine, but I added an improvised guitar solo and random beeps on the phone keypad. Luckily this did not activate the “control mode” of the answering machine. For those of you who are test-tube babies, you should call the Courtesy Care desk of the assisting hospital and wish them a happy hospital day. Also I am playing Isketch right now (username “Cardhouse”). Just whiling away my Sunday hours until feeding time again.

2001may13. Mail. We bought a game pad that connects to the computer and you step/dance on it to play (specifically a game called Dance Dance Revolution). It is an Asian knock off of a real Asian product.

Hot Dance Instruction

Thanks for purchasing our product. This product is made for dancing and health-care. Please read this instruction carefully before using and please follow the steps properly and remember to take good care of this instruction.

... boring instructions skipped ...

Notice
!Warning

Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured. Stop immediately if there is abnormal phenomenon in your foot, waist and back when using it.

Please take off your shoes when using this product, don’t wear a smooth sock, do not stack up other things around you, keep far away from walls and windows, find somewhere roomy to play.

... and now the big payoff (please note, this is typed verbatim – honest and I double checked for type-o’s just to make sure):

There is maybe have some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.

Make sure to pave the cushion.

Don not put it near furniture and other odds and ends.

Young children must be guided to use it or need parents and teaches to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it.

High technology product, do not apart, separate or fix it anyway. Or the damage cannot be guaranteed.

Do not keep it in the quite high or low temperature environment, especially fare away from the fireplace.

If this product can’t work well, please connect with your supplier directly.

This product is made for indoor games only. Do not use it outdoors or in other occasion.

Please shut off the power before removing this product.

Please put it on a flat floor, but not too smooth.

Do not wear sharp shoes when using it, that may cause damage to the product.

When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safety.

Strong jump or shake may cause influence to the video and audio output.

Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.

2001may13. Mail.

We bought a game pad that connects to the computer and you step/dance on it to play (specifically a game called Dance Dance Revolution). It is an Asian knock off of a real Asian product.

Hot Dance Instruction

Thanks for purchasing our product. This product is made for dancing and health-care. Please read this instruction carefully before using and please follow the steps properly and remember to take good care of this instruction.

... boring instructions skipped ...

Notice
!Warning

Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured. Stop immediately if there is abnormal phenomenon in your foot, waist and back when using it.

Please take off your shoes when using this product, don’t wear a smooth sock, do not stack up other things around you, keep far away from walls and windows, find somewhere roomy to play.

... and now the big payoff (please note, this is typed verbatim – honest and I double checked for type-o’s just to make sure):

There is maybe have some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.

Make sure to pave the cushion.

Don not put it near furniture and other odds and ends.

Young children must be guided to use it or need parents and teaches to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it.

High technology product, do not apart, separate or fix it anyway. Or the damage cannot be guaranteed.

Do not keep it in the quite high or low temperature environment, especially fare away from the fireplace.

If this product can’t work well, please connect with your supplier directly.

This product is made for indoor games only. Do not use it outdoors or in other occasion.

Please shut off the power before removing this product.

Please put it on a flat floor, but not too smooth.

Do not wear sharp shoes when using it, that may cause damage to the product.

When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safety.

Strong jump or shake may cause influence to the video and audio output.

Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.

2001may30. This has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read all week. “Standard I.A. 2. -Evaluate, take, and defend positions on why government is necessary and the purposes government should serve.” Yes, this does just that.

2001may30. That Tastykake replica panel truck is sure one sweet ride. It sure is.

2001may30. Live large, my learned friend, via “The Collegiate,” a delicious medly of Tastykake confections including the famous Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets. What a wonderful way to cap off a feverish night of hard studying and other quasi-educational endeavours.

2001may30. The Tastykake Trivia Page. Hours of entertainment. 1.1 million donuts manufactured each day. Amazing. 250,000 pies. Incredible. Cinnamon from Indonesia. Also amazing.

2001may30. I have received my IRS check. It is for the exact amount I reported stolen from me over the past year via the 1040ZBIJ form, but in addition to this I received “Notice 54,” which indicates that I have been paid a “different” amount.

In no way is it surprising that the IRS thinks that two equal amounts are different.

2001may30. There’s a great little project over at Lost and Found Sound involving pre-recorded repetitive public announcements (“The White Zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only”) but unfortunately it’s a pop-up linked off of this link, so if you’ve disabled pop-ups, you’re going to have to disable the disablement to see the announcement for the project.

2001may30. Tastykake.

2001may30. Test. Testing. ROCK!!!!!! Is this thing on? Rock, please. Could we get some rock over here? I like the way they “rock out.”I’d rather fight rock than switch rock. Share the wonders of NATIONAL ROCKOGRAPHIC with your friends! Rock? The subject continued to rock into the night.

2001may30. Tastykake. Did you know that the kickin’ jamsters over at the Tasty Baking Company have a market share of SIXTY FIVE PERCENT for Mid-Atlantic states? Mother scratcher, make that SEVENTY percent for snack pies ... they’re droppin’ the sweet Tastykake revolution on 49 states, Puerto Rico, and Canada! Tastykake: A World Of Baking In Motion.

2001may30. That Tastykake replica panel truck is sure one sweet ride. It sure is.

2001may30. Live large, my learned friend, via “The Collegiate,” a delicious medly of Tastykake confections including the famous Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets. What a wonderful way to cap off a feverish night of hard studying and other quasi-educational endeavours.

2001may30. The Tastykake Trivia Page. Hours of entertainment. 1.1 million donuts manufactured each day. Amazing. 250,000 pies. Incredible. Cinnamon from Indonesia. Also amazing.

2001may30. I have received my IRS check. It is for the exact amount I reported stolen from me over the past year via the 1040ZBIJ form, but in addition to this I received “Notice 54,” which indicates that I have been paid a “different” amount.

In no way is it surprising that the IRS thinks that two equal amounts are different.

2001may30. There’s a great little project over at Lost and Found Sound involving pre-recorded repetitive public announcements (“The White Zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only”) but unfortunately it’s a pop-up linked off of this link, so if you’ve disabled pop-ups, you’re going to have to disable the disablement to see the announcement for the project.

2001may30. Tastykake.

2001may30. Test. Testing. ROCK!!!!!! Is this thing on? Rock, please. Could we get some rock over here? I like the way they “rock out.”I’d rather fight rock than switch rock. Share the wonders of NATIONAL ROCKOGRAPHIC with your friends! Rock? The subject continued to rock into the night.

2001may31. The vacation was nice. Death Valley hit 115 degrees, which wasn’t a record, but I think it’s a personal best. One of the old codgers at the Saline Valley springs introduced himself by saying something like “hot enough for ya?” which I could have predicted had the heat not melted my brain thirty minutes prior. The springs are an oasis in the middle of a desert, just like the movies. Clothing optional, so I was very careful to hide my pee-pee in a bold series of toreador-like towel manuverings (“ole! opa! didi-7!”). One of the springs has a roster of names listed next to it, including a “thanks” to a certain “Charles” (“’65”) who I was later told was the “ Manson.” I tried to avoid sitting in that pool, but at a certain point it was the only one left.

I soaked in the Manson Death Spring

2001may31. Then there was the visit to Manzanar. When I last drove by it, everything had been taken down – the sign, the cards and letters from people, etc. But now, the sign is back, there are the guard posts, they’re going to turn the auditorium into a visitor’s center, etc, etc. But it’s still called a “relocation center” instead of “one of several American Concentration Camps.”In the very back is the graveyard; there were origami paper cranes everywhere. And how wonderful is this, to be able to find the perfect explanation in less than 10 seconds with google?

I’m guessing that the cranes will be hoovered up by the NPS in short order. They have a running history of removing any sort of third-party human element or interaction from “their” sites. Too dangerous, letting people have a voice. Might get too loud.

2001may31. Here is a better link for the The American Soundtrack project over at Lost and Found sound which was discovered by intrepid explorer Wally, who lost two fingers to frostbite during his three-day ordeal. We wish him well. Peace. Oh, sorry.