2001jun04. I’m desperate to take home one good thing about calling tire places all day and getting a massive tire-induced headache, and I think I’ve finally found it. It’s “cool” to be able to cut to the chase with a tire representative. I know, it’s not much. But to go from this: “Uhhhh, I’m looking for some tires???” to this: “Get me out the door with four Pirelli P400’s P175 70 R13” is something, I guess. [screws up eyes] “Look I talk in tire code Der HAW!” God what a nightmare tire buying is. You start out thinking you’re going to cross-check every possible factor, but by the end of the day, you’d just be happy if you could get the approximate number of tires your car currently needs (4). Wear'em down with options, that’s the modern-day tire salesman’s motto. It’s like going to 31 Flavors. “Oh CHRIST, just give me the fucking fudge stripe radials already.” Your favorite tire comedian is also appearing at the Witchita Kansas Holiday Inn June 8th. Advance tickets two dollars.
