2001feb10. The Antique Road Show is an antique appraisal program created by the BBC and later spun off into a second, American series. This is what I call The Antique Road Show Poem. By me.
Did you look at the bottom?
No. No. No no no.
Three thousand. Four thousand.
Perhaps the rain will improve my painting.
It’s been in your family for nine thousand years?
I’m excited to see the striping, you don’t see that much.
This is the most amazing piece we’ve ever seen. Today.
MAJOLICA! MAJOLICA!
This hat was made out of an armadillo.
I love maps.
Do you have any idea of how much it’s worth?
No. No. No sir, no.
Could you perhaps smear your greasy appraiser fingers across my parchment?
It’s been in my family many, many years. How much is it worth?
These cigarette butts were smoked by General Lee.
Geddy Lee?
... yes.
If you were to give this clock a bath
perhaps you could be its “bath buddy"?
Just wonderful.
The poems that he wrote usually weren’t credited, so to see this is a rare thing indeed. And that’s good.