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Cardhouse
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2001aug01. Oh boy! The dot-com revolution has returned! YOUR FIRST STEP: Thinking stock options can pay the rent!

2001aug02. Fark’s photoshoppe follies with the venal X10 pop-under ad. Caution: Many pictures. Slow to load. Let it load in the background, just like the X10 ad! Hooray!

2001aug04. Two things I have recently wondered about have been explained succinctly at The Straight Dope. Lady marmalade. Jumping beans. It’s all coming together.

2001aug04. Smoke ... and tell the world. Tell the world you’re a Ramrod man.

2001aug04. Cigar label art.

2001aug06. Tomorrow’s Bird by Ian Frazier. This one’s been all over the magazine dial, and for good reason. [via Rain Barrel]

2001aug06. I was all set to put the Kazaa music-sharing software on my system when I found out about all the nasties ( 2) waiting for me ... including something called “Toptext" which is just like Microsoft’s “Smart Links” ... .you might be seeing yellow links on your browser right now, put there by Toptext/Kazaa, if you’ve downloaded it. If you don’t want this (or anyother spyware) on your computer, I’d advise you to use Ad-aware. It’s free! Without any sneaky spyware attached to it!

2001aug07. [Cardhouse] Foreign Candy Cigarettes Initial Exploratory Mission Completed. An incomplete yet exhaustive look at candy cigarettes AROUND THE GLOBE. You know, I’ve been all around the world, searching high and low for candy cigarettes. But really, when I stop to think about it, I couldn’t wait to get back in the states; back to the cutest girls in the world.

Also, if you have high bandwidth or nothing to do, there’s the Big Candy Thumb - clickable thumbnails of almost all the candy cigarettes in the werld.

2001aug08. Mail.

“Mapleton" used to be a brand of pipe tobacco here in the U.S. It came in a yellow can with the maple leaf logo, etc. Like so many other things, it is now only available in Mexico ... as cigarettes? Sigh.

Ah! Thank you for this information. There is a lot I don’t know about the world of candy cigarettes.

2001aug08. McSweeney’s: Comedic Variations on Three Themes.

2001aug08. Top 100 Trainwrecks of the 20th Century.

2001aug10. Mail.

Rediscover and categorise this, you colonialist pigs! The Ironclad Turtle

It must have got pretty saucy in there during the heat of battle with all of those swarthy, sweaty hunks powering that thar turtleboat. Unless they had A/C back then.

2001aug10. ALL OF THESE STARS HAVE BEEN WITH SPITTING DISTANCE OF THIS PLANE!!!!!!11111!!!111 BUY IT NOW!!!!!!!1111

2001aug10. [Cardhouse] I am selling a piece of Cardhouse’s past. It fills me with a quiet shame.

2001aug13. I like pickles.

2001aug15. DONK

2001aug15. Candy reviews. At one time I use to eat dubbel-zout licorice. So ... ummm ... big deal. WEBLOG AWARDS: BEST OF SHOW 2001

2001aug15. Every man wants this. Tell the world that you’re a player. Whoa. Hot stuff. Coming through. Earn some extra cash on the side. Pick up a few bucks. Everyone wants them. Keep up with the Joneses. Fool your friends. What a wing-ding delight. There’s never been anything more amazing. Imply dangerous past scenarios and derring-do through the use of low-cost water-soluable adhesives. You’re probably wondering why I pulled you over. Well, I was just concerned. Concerned for your safety. Is everything okay. [via tecopa jane]

2001aug17. The National Dictionary Council just made an announcement today that “loose” would also be an accepted spelling for “lose.”So ... go nuts, I guess.

2001aug17. I was under the impression that My Manifesto, a severely-annotated cataloging of Eggersmania!, had gone kaput. It is there. I was wrong.

2001aug18. Cockeyed: Chad’s Evil Twin Takes America By Storm. I wrote one of the entries, channeling (per usual) my inner idiot.

2001aug18. Here’s The Real Chad.

2001aug18. Tiki cupcakes.

2001aug20. Coca-Cola’s asinine “H2NO” program for Olive Garden made it to the New York Times via the eagle eyes of Cockeyed.com. The actual, physical eyeballs of the website.

2001aug20. America loves Smashin’ Babies.

2001aug21. Mail.

the thing in the forground is a theater lighting instrument, circa 1975 or so. It’s pointed at saturn.

Ooooh! Thank you! And lookit, there’s the corresponding bright spot!

2001aug21. I was just poking around one of the urban legends sites and came across this July 1991 article about seven-year-old tunafish reclassified as cat food then being relabelled and sold as human-edible tunafish. I just thought I’d bring that up.

2001aug22. Amazon Shaving Tips. It’s the year 2001 and our mail programs still have problems keeping long URLs together. Yep. So as far as Amazon URLs go, no matter where they’re from, you can just shave off anything past the first chunk of gobbledegook. Zo zee massive

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/cm/member-reviews/-/A3LVCYIJTHG693/1/r ef%3D cm%5Fmp%5Frv/104-8861634-2053551

... becomes a svelte

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/cm/member-reviews/-/A3LVCYIJTHG693

And still works.

2001aug23. So I’m trying to avoid the TV commercials again today, and this ad comes on for Taco Bell’s exciting NEW reconfiguration of the only seven ingredients they keep in stock ... and there’s a lot of chef-like manuevers, knives cutting tomatoes, everything’s fresh, cutting board, parsley flying around, etc ... and I’m watching all of this and wondering why you never see the sour cream caulking gun in the commercials. Don’t they have a Bean+Emulsifier Caulking Gun as well? Anyway, that whole “truth in advertising” thing could really kick some ass here. “Mmmmm, the new delicious seventeen-layer Taco Bell El Rastadero ... individually hand-crafted by our master chefs ... [squirp sqlorp squirp]”

2001aug24. Wired: Information on Borderhack2.0, taking place in Tijuana this weekend.

2001aug26. Be on the lookout for an extra “photo” in your newly-developed roll of pictures brought to you by your roll’s ... sponsor? (it’s the totally redesigned 2002 Ford Explorer! collect them all!) ... advertisers are still on the prowl, looking for every unexploited nook-and-cranny. Memo to myself: throw ’em out right there in the store, let ‘em deal with their own trash.