2000oct05. Okay, we all saw the debates, right? Youre still not thinking of voting for one of the loser twins, are you? Okay. Its a free country, be an idiot. But I'll tell you what ... let me sweeten up the deal a little bit, and then you let me know.
If you vote for Nader, I'll give you a free piece of toast.That;s right. FREE TOAST Im NOT messing around here. I'll MAIL it to you if I have to. Plus, I will send a free magazine. It might be something Ive whipped up, it might be Readers Digest. I cannot say at this time.
supplies are limited. must be over 18.
You wanted to burst forth into the new millennium, didnt ya? New ideas, new plans, a new country? I remember you saying that. Well, if you want your new millennium, COME AND GET YOUR NADER2000 TOAST, MOTHER SCRATCHERS
You just lemme know after you go to your little polling station. Also please describe the voting process for me, including a description of the voting booth. Thats not to keep you honest (Im sure you wont lie to me), I just like voting booths.
2000oct06. Personally I just dont see a need for the CueCat at all – I was hoping maybe some CueCat hacker would come up with an alternate one (scan your buttocks!) that actually made some sense. I dont understand how scanning a discarded pack of hot dogs and a can of lima beans is going to reduce the amount of time and effort you spend finding this information at an online grocer. Lets try an experiment on Webvan (I used to be a WebVan customer but found their selection to be atrocious. It was worth the effort to be able to see the cockamamie cyborg set-up they require their drivers to carry (on one hip, you have your big order tracker computer, and on the other hip, you have your big, big printer – I think there was a third hip in there somewhere (pager? cellphone? four hips?), but shit, you could do all of that with a dash-mounted radio/cb and a clipboard ... I almost had a laughing spasm while signing for my order [semi-witty parenthetical note about how this is yet another example of throwing technology at problems to cause more problems than ever deemed possible inside an aside about throwing technology at problems to cause more problems than ever deemed possible deleted for brevity]). I do not have a CueCat, I am just extrapolating from known data and have afforded the CueCat people the benefit of the doubt about the usability of their product even though Ive read at least two accounts indicating elsewise but in this case were talking about homebrew software so forget I said anything:
Without CueCat:There is a guy who has a website that tallies everything he throws away; hes placed his (non CueCat) scanner next to the garbage. If I suddenly wanted to do this it would entail (at least) a thirty-foot cable slinking through the floor and termites nests, down a wall, etc. I think I'll just remember or even write down what I need to purchase and sometimes, when Im feeling crazy, just wing it in the grocery store. When did buying groceries become this horrible, horrible experience that people cant stand? Or is this just another Mt. Geekmore hack ... I can do it, so I will do it! Well, at least you can run spreadsheets on your average lima bean consumption per month.
type in hot dogs in search field
choose all beef
take soggy, dripping discarded hot dog pack over to computer
flatten UPC on table
scan easily and quickly with CueCat and hacker homebrew softwares
take soggy, dripping discarded hot dog pack back to garbage
get cleaning supplies, clean up drips on floor and computer table
put cleaning supplies back
dig through trash to find lima bean can
clean arms, hands
Love the sarcasm, everyone needs a touch of it everyday, and btw
2000oct07. Went to an estate sale today. There were some pots on the stove ... one pot for five dollars ... and the one with stew a-stewin in it for ten bucks.
Does the stew come with that?Boy, youd think theyd let these people cool off a little bit before they start selling off everything.
If a SCUBA diver is in the water at about 20 feet and lightning hits close to the diver what will happen to him and why. Thank you, Wayne
Our Science Editor is on vacation. Your question will be answered by the Cardhouse Robot. The SCUBA diver will die. The end.
2000oct18. The Sparks Fat Project most recent update includes a vastly-improved pounds vs. fatness graph which enables you (you) to gauge the progress as related to the 30-pounds-in-30-days goal more astutely. Tufte would be proud.
2000oct20. I have a P.O. Box. When I got the P.O. box, they gave me a key. It didnt work, so they said they were ordering new ones. It would take a month, two months for the keys to arrive. Because the keys are ordered from Washington D.C., currently our nations capitol.
So everytime I wanted my mail, I would have to stand in line with all of the other good citizens. Then, when it was my turn to go up to the counter, I would ask, politely, for my mail from the box.
The clerk, whoever it was, every single time, would look at me blankly. Have you lost your key? Is there something wrong with the box? etc. Every single time, I would patiently explain that I was never given the keys in the first place. There are only about six clerks at this branch – sometimes, Id even get to explain what happened to the clerk who originally processed the order.
Over and over, and over again. Ive explained this curious phenomenon to each clerk at least ten times.
Its been like this for five months, twenty days now.
So, if you happen to be getting a P.O. Box, make sure you get some keys, I guess.
Written on the side of a Tostitos box near the back door of a local restaurant:
Everybodys sickMade me think of you. – matt
and Joels got a
knife in his head,
make pie. I think
I can make a
pie or 2.
2000oct26. Look, we dont want to find the corn, or get into any more trouble, so if you could just temporarily approve this corn, I mean, I know it wasnt even approved for human consumption, its twice removed from regular non-biotech corn, but if you could just approve it, for awhile, that'd be great.
2000oct30. Fat Project (scroll to bottom for by-the-hour weigh-ins): My my. The poundage one can put on in three hours. Erics got a shot, Nicoles comin on strong. This looks much better than the start of the day.
2000oct31. Shit, forgot to decorate for halloween.
Orange orange orange