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2000jan03. One of our local network loser stations cut to a short-statured reporter in the midst of a Santa Clara new year’s party. She started rattling off Y2k stats from a prepared sheet of paper while the “partying” crowd behind her became more and more boisterous. As the look on her face grew exponentially irritated, she was slowly swallowed by the crowd ... for about twenty seconds all you could see or hear were the happy, waving-at-the-camera partygoers before someone back at home base finally cut away ...

It was the most beautiful thing on TV I’ve seen in a long time.

2000jan03. Dotcomguy is having Y2k problems ... .

Upcoming Events

01/03/2000 – 01:09:00 AM
Invalid Date/Time object
01/03/19100

Looks like you’re going to have to stay in the house until the year 19100, “Dotcomguy.”

2000jan03. Losers, HO!

2000jan03. I think the grandest thing about the year 2000 is that EVERYTHING could be suffixed with “2000"! It’s no longer “It’s The Extremely Sexy Cardhouse Weblog Scene,” it’s “It’s The Extremely Sexy Cardhouse Weblog Scene 2000"! Are you following me here?!?? This is something I’m never going to tire of, unlike that stupid Gap ad campaign “Everyone in sweaters"! Everyone in 2000!!!!!!

2000jan05. WTO Protest article by Mark Hosler of Negativland [via Metascene]

2000jan06. Punk rock karaoke

2000jan07. Cintra.

2000jan07. Today’s my last day of work for a long, long time. To celebrate, I’m providing you with the following link: In Defense Of Fucking Off.

2000jan10. Your tax dollars not at work, part XVI.

2000jan11. The Al Pacino Pachinko Parlor, part of Japan from the Driver’s Seat [via gmtPlus9]

2000jan11. Quirky Japan

2000jan11. Merit Sleepytime Smokes. Safer! Smoke two simultaneously! Fall asleep ... no problem. It’s Sleepytime in America.

2000jan11. Again, I don’t know where these artistic genuises get their ideas ... buildings that are fighting!

2000jan11. Ebay: $2000 for a fishing lure box. Act now. Avoid the rush.

2000jan11. Ebay: Six foot life size ice cream cone statue. Yes, as big as LIFE itself. “Whoa, whoa, there little feller! Don’t try to eat that! It’s ART, handcrafted from THICK RESIN. That’ll give you a tummyache like you wouldn’t believe!”

2000jan11. Black Jesus and White Jesus fight to figure out who’s the bestest son of God! There are more religious action figures at the bottom of this page!

2000jan11. Something the other day reminded me of Larry Walters, the guy who tied a bunch of helium balloons to a lawn chair and levelled off at 16,000 feet. I like the mental image of six of his friends, helping him prepare for liftoff ...

2000jan12. New Leisuretown. Hell yes!

2000jan14. There’s been a plane crash, somewhere over there, or something. [via jon]

2000jan14. Attention, people of Chicago! Attention, people of Chicago! You must attend the Chicago version of Crux’s “24 Hour Plays"! It will be at the Chopin Theatre on January 23rd at 7:45pm! A series of plays conceived, written, rehearsed, and produced within the space of one (1) earth day! Check your local froo-froo rag for details, or call the theatre!

2000jan14. Philip Greenspun: Las Vegas.

2000jan14. Mail.

I have an idea for a product that is made of styrofoam and I would like to talk to you about it ... If you don’t mind please send me your phone number and I will give you a call.. If I were to develop this product I would be willing to share a percentage with you, with all legalized documentation ... Thanks, L

Ooooooh, I hope it’s really big and foamy!

2000jan15. The story on that “13 parts rodent excreta allowed in every 100 grams of Chips Ahoy” or whatever government nonsense.

2000jan15. It’s the Fucking Hypocrites Show! Starring Journalists and The Police!

2000jan15. Pixbarn: Meiji Strawberry Apollo Chocolate Whatevers.

Back and front of package. It’s like a little comic strip – the rabbit has gone and eaten the strawberries at top and some of the delicious Apollo chocolate. Now he’s all bloated. Good luck getting bloated on the miniscule portions of this candy, though. I mean, the actual box is less than two inches high. It’s part of a set of four different products, like a “one bite sampler pak.” But that’s actually nice, all things in moderation. Not this ridiculous gallon-size latte cup super-size-it house-like-SUV swamp this country waddles through.

2000jan15. Pixbarn.

Toppy Choco Nuts Instant Seasoning Paks are a delightful addition to any otherwise unadorned piece of toast. In case it’s not abundantly clear from the front photo exactly how one is to prepare Toppy Choco Nuts Instant-seasoned toast, there is a three-step cartoon on the back, led by a smaller piece of toast I’ve come to call “Mr. Toppy Nuts Toast Chef.”We play a lot of 9-ball, I’m down five bucks. Pay special attention to step #2, in which you are required to pour the bag of Toppy Choco Nuts onto the toast (this is the ”instant” part). A lot of people screw the pooch right there. I’m not sure why Mr. Toppy Nuts doesn’t just apply the seasoning mix to himself. That’s the way things are usually done around here.

Also, I bought a slew of these bags (also Toppy Honey Nuts Instant Seasoning) for the Nader Free Toast Offer Contest. If you voted for Nader and did not receive your free toast and free Toppy Honey/Choco Nuts Instant Seasoning Pak, there’s really nothing I can do at this point. See you in 2004.

Ingredients: sugar, almond, caco mass, milk powder, peanut, wheat flour, cocoa butter, cocoa powder, canola oil, corn starch, glucose, egg yolk, salt, artificial flavor, caramel coloring, leavening, soy lecithin. I know. Your mouth is watering now.

2000jan17. Word Work: More proof that customer-care people are from other planets.

2000jan18. Cecil Adams: Folding paper seven times but never eight de-bunked

2000jan18. Mack Romain: Private Eye (comic)

2000jan18. Mail.

Excellent. Haven’t found anything here yet that’s bored me. Made me nervous, yes, but hopefully y’all’re states away. I guess that’s safe enough.

2000jan18. Mail.

I’m really starting to get annoyed by Cecil Adams. The question was "Can paper be folded more than 7 times?", not “Can anything be folded more than 7 times?” I’m still not sure whether the “no more than 7” rule actually applies to paper, but Cecil didn’t even address the actual question, even though he claims he has! It’s this type of misinformation and misdirection that the press is famous for. I was just hoping Cecil was immune. The question still stands! – dr. berk

2000jan20. Singapore Hello Kitty RIOT [via Iain]

2000jan20. "The Fucking Hypocrites Show, Part II Starring Al Gore" [via the mysterious “p"]

2000jan20. High-lariously boring-ass-shit e-postcards

2000jan20. Total Lunar Eclipse!

2000jan20. Mail.

Yeah, Cecil pulled a bait-and-switch on the paper-folding question, but, geez, why wait for the Straight Dope to settle the question when you can go get some paper and try it yourself. If tissue paper counts as paper, the matter’s settled: I got eight folds out of a sheet (about 18"x11”) last night.

This should give you some indication of how exciting my evenings are. – greg

2000jan21. I think tissue paper is cheating again. Somebody get a frickin’ big ass piece of “regular” paper and get this thing LOCKED. [mark]

2000jan21. Privacy: Amazon.com & Alexa in bed, whispering to each other all about you [via Obscure Store]

2000jan21. Mail.

OK. I got a 3 foot by 5 foot sheet of 20lb paper from the art department. Could not fold it in half more than 7 times. Even tried bending it over a counter top and squashing my boot heel against it. The “spine” is about 1 1/2 inches thick, so I don’t think it’s because I’m a pipsqueak. -- tecopa jane

2000jan21. Mail.

I have here on my desk a piece of D-sized (22” x 34”) drafting paper. I have now folded it once. And twice. And three times. Now four. The suspense is nearly unbearable. Five. Six. Se7en. It’s now about 3/4” x 9” by about 3/4” thick. Hey, nobody said you had to alternate horizontal and vertical folds, right? And now, folding it the obvious way to make it 3/4” x 4.5” x 1.5,” we have a winner.

And this is regular old paper. Not tissue paper. Not mylar. Not vellum (really thin paper). Thickness about 0.004” by my cheap-o Japanese vernier calipers.

So enough with the paper already. – steve

2000jan21. Mail.

I think we can safely say: It depends on the thickness of the paper! SCIENCE!!! – dr. berk

2000jan24. Steve replies:

While this isn’t really the forum to go into treatises on the scientific method, let me just note that proving that something can’t be done is way harder than proving that it can. To prove that it can be done, you just have to do it. But it doesn’t work the opposite way. I can’t run a 4 minute mile, but that doesn’t prove it can’t be done.

Let’s look at the paper problem again. It’s a simple doubling issue, familiar to all of you computer science types out there (you know who you are). The 8th fold will produce a stack that is 2^8 (256) times the thickness of the original piece of paper, assuming (as scientists are wont to do) inhumanly perfect folding. It’s really the paper’s thickness, even more than the size, that’s important here.

My .004” paper (10 times as thick as Cecil’s plastic) theoretically would have been 1.024” thick after the 8th fold, but was actually about 1.5” thick. I sure couldn’t fold it a 9th time. I would guess that Jane’s paper was thicker to start with, so she hit the 1.5” mark at the 7th fold.

We’ve proven that neither Jane nor I can fold a small, 1.5” thick bundle of paper. Maybe one of you big he-men (or she-women, whatever) out there in (ugh) cyberspace can. If so, you’ve got a great future in winning bar bets. Have at it.

2000jan24. "I’ve STEPPED DOWN! I’ve given FIVE BILLION DOLLARS to my foundation! CALL OFF YOUR DOGS!!!” Ass.

2000jan24. Another reason SUVs suck: America’s glorious guardrails are now too small for our big fat ass SUVs. So remember how you could drive around a mountainous curve and the passengers could look out unto the scenic landscape? Forget it. Of course, the government is responsible for replacing the guardrails if the feasibility study holds true with real-world scenarios (yeah, like SUVs aren’t going to roll over guardrails built for cars), so it won’t happen for a long time. Meanwhile, bring your camera to scenic drop-off points.

2000jan24. Mail.

While this isn’t really the forum to go into treatises on the scientific method, let me just note that proving that something can’t be done is way harder than proving that it can. To prove that it can be done, you just have to do it. But it doesn’t work the opposite way. I can’t run a 4 minute mile, but that doesn’t prove it can’t be done.

Let’s look at the paper problem again. It’s a simple doubling issue, familiar to all of you computer science types out there (you know who you are). The 8th fold will produce a stack that is 2^8 (256) times the thickness of the original piece of paper, assuming (as scientists are wont to do) inhumanly perfect folding. It’s really the paper’s thickness, even more than the size, that’s important here.

My .004” paper (10 times as thick as Cecil’s plastic) theoretically would have been 1.024” thick after the 8th fold, but was actually about 1.5” thick. I sure couldn’t fold it a 9th time. I would guess that Jane’s paper was thicker to start with, so she hit the 1.5” mark at the 7th fold.

We’ve proven that neither Jane nor I can fold a small, 1.5” thick bundle of paper. Maybe one of you big he-men (or she-women, whatever) out there in (ugh) cyberspace can. If so, you’ve got a great future in winning bar bets. Have at it. – steve

2000jan25. This is what I have been waiting for for years ... GIANT POCKY 2000

2000jan25. Everyone loves the naughty European candy.

2000jan25. GIANT ... CONE! A commercial for a Glico frozen confection. (requires quicktime, and really, you must have audio to appreciate it)

2000jan25. Here’s the rest of the Glico confection commercials. Click on the cameras (duh).

2000jan25. Rabbits poundin’ the mochi during Otsukimi (a full moon viewing in autumn). Pound, rabbits, pound! “Mochi” means “full moon” and “rice flour,” and that is what mochi is made from, by pounding, like the rabbits, there in the full moon. Get it? Like Americans see the ”man on the moon,” the new film starring Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman, the Japanese see “the rabbits pounding the mochi.” Which is probably not the subject of a film. But I’m not the guy that would know.

2000jan30. Pixbarn.

Popcorn.

2000jan31. "Easy-to-gulp pudding.” a DEATH pudding, no doubt! [applause]

jan 25. Pocky television ads. Do note the common elements: screaming, over-emphasized biting/chomping SFX. We also learn that Pocky is pronounced “Poke-ee” not “Pock-ee.” Today has been a very educational day, in terms of candy products manufactured by Glico. (requires quicktime). I am also happy that the girl was able to find her paint brushes.

2000jan31. The Pillsbury Doughboy: (darker) (much darker) [via jon]

2000jan31. GIANT ... CONE! NUTS! CHOCOLATE! ICE AND CONE! Sorry.

2000jan31. Oh! OH!!!!!! Oh my. This is very exciting! The Triangle Poster Company! You must look! Olde-tyme posterse!

2000jan31. The Library of Congress also has a section devoted to theatrical posters, but the scans are all completely tiny. Here’s an example: Professor Cummings, the celebrated magician, vocalist, and comedian!! The good professor offers “Piece-work!! Piece-work! Magic! ... Mystic arts! ... Dancing babies!” Dancing babies? That was probably a total flop. No one would be interested in any “dancing baby.”