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2000dec22. Here in sunny, stupid California, despite the dot-com fallout, we still have oodles of newly-minted dot-com millionaires who have little to no experience with big-money budgeting nor women. That’s where Dennis T. Thomas, Founder, SMC, comes in. According to an ad placed in the Bay Guardian, Dennis will “take you to a world where everything you ever dreamed of in a woman comes true ... I personally take you to Europe first class & put you into the arms of a super babe! who will absolutely fufill every fantasy you ever thought of & a few you haven’t! I'll be your personal coach, guide, protector, valet, counselor, and teacher. European Supermodel Tours start at 50k ... I specialize in really shy, computer geek types.”

A few notes. First, the website “requires” Internet Explorer – I can’t even see the site with Netscape or Opera (what is this, 1996?). Our geeky rich friend will be taken to Amsterdam, land of women-for-sale – I wonder if perhaps these are the “super babes” of which he speaks? Lastly, he'll be your valet? What, can’t he spread a little of the 50k around? [special thanks to brendan]