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Cardhouse
macros2000.com

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2000 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

party poker

2000apr03. Seven Questions: Dr. Cliff!

2000apr04. San Francisco shakes down businesses

2000apr04. Star Dudes. Must have Flash. Extremely worth the download time. [via jon]

2000apr04. Online version of Americans with Disabilities Act geared up to cripple the web

2000apr04. "Hey boss, I’m going to be taking me a MUSTACHE VACATION.”

2000apr04. I’m going to retch.

2000apr04. Mail.

For some reason, i find cardhouse fascinating. Perhaps a note on your showing of "Victory” candy cigarettes. There’s a literary reference here. “Victory” is the brand that Winston Smith smoked in George Orwell’s novel “1984.” That’s what inspired me to buy a pack when I saw them at a candy store in Chicago last year. --- Jim Meadows

In any other case, I’d say it was on purpose. But, considering the machinations of the candy cigarette industry, it would seem to be a total coincidence.

2000apr04. Mail.

hey ...

had a customer in here earlier who spent a whole hour at cardhouse.

it was interesting to watch. he’d read for a while, then click about for a bit, then read some more, maybe smile or chuckle quietly to himself, and so on.

so there you go – average Joe’s reaction to the material at cardhouse.

and thanks to you, we made six bucks.

that was the most interesting thing that happened to me all day.

-- Jez

Thanks for the update!

2000apr05. Books by Bill Drummond reviewed at The Complete Review.

45
Annual Report
The Manual (with Jimmy Cauty)

2000apr05. It’s the hot new addiction that has all of the online koffee klatches buzzing like madcakes: searching randomly in the patent files for stupid things

2000apr05. Another patent. “The toy thermometer and the toy hypodermic have movable components for increasing the child’s pleasure.” Mmmm.

2000apr05. Mail.

Dear Webmaster- i am a student at the university of maryland, college park. as part of my focus, i am working with photography to show how form and content are an expression of meaning. or, rather, i would like to draw comparisions between the image itself and the societ in which it was born. i feel that found photography could reflect smaller movements in our society today; because there are few sites dedicated to this genre, i would like to know about your feelings on this subject.

1-how is this kind of photography different from any other? is there a difference?

2-do you see this genre expanding in the years to come?

3-what conclusions can be made about found photography in terms of american society? does it reflect a growing isolation of individuals?

thank you very much for taking the time to read this, and i look forward to hearing from you at your convenience.

regards,
– brian p.

Do what now?

2000apr06. Ebay: WALT DISNEY WORLD COCA-COLA EXXON MICROSOFT UNION-CARBIDE BARBIE LQQK!!!!!!!!!

2000apr06. Ebay: "I love you, darling. And so do the good folks at National Biscuit Company.”

2000apr08. People keep asking where the Chrante Deti matchbook covers were discovered. They were purchased from Labelcollector.com for seven American dollars. “Wacky” captions not included.

2000apr09. Mail.

your website is fucking shit and on your banneradd you have pokemon cards on here

Well, aren’t you a pleasant little person!

Perhaps your muddled little peabrain was actually thinking of [similar domain name]. Good luck to you, git, and be on your way before I call the truant officer!

2000apr10. Ebay: If I smoked, I would buy this.

2000apr10. Sushi Astrology [via max]

2000apr10. That damned sushi astrology is just like eating at a sushi boat place. If you want all Unagi, you’re going to have to wait for awhile ...

2000apr10. A furious burst of output from Dr. Cliff!

2000apr10. Mail.

i got an e-mail on sunday from [email address] whoever the fuck that ( or he is } and i’d like to say i’m not a fucking child i deal pokemon cards you cheeky bastards and i’d like an apology from whoever or whatever sent me that e-mail and tell them to shut the fuck up because i’ll call their boss!

Let me get this straight. You’d like an APOLOGY, and THIS is your original message?

your website is fucking shit and on your banneradd you have pokemon cards on here

So you blow into town, the first five words out of your bloody gob comprise an insult, you’re clearly on the wrong site and you want an APOLOGY while continuing your barrage of insults? Okay, here’s one.

We’re sorry you’re such sad human trash.

Also we talked to our boss and he said you’re an “idiot Pokemon loser.” Then we all went out for pizza and laughed and laughed.

We do like the “cheeky bastards” insult, though. Catch’em all!

2000apr11. Proof that it’s not only great minds that think alike. [lore]

2000apr11. Maakies: I wonder who has that phone number.

2000apr12. [Cardhouse] Just what everyone is waiting for: a program to convert your Mac Eudora files into PC Eudora files.

2000apr12. A nice selection of banned cartoons. [bovine]

2000apr12. Screw diet and exercise. [soosan]

2000apr12. Old Wired story: Kidtrak.

2000apr13.

Here, darling. A symbol of my aircraft-grade love. [lore]

2000apr13. The Parable of The Moose That Dared Not Speak Its Name. [bovine]

2000apr13. Perhaps, like me, you are obsessed with the red panda, because you’ve been to the zoo and you’ve noticed that the animal cannot stop marking its territory by doing a compulsive urination samba. Perhaps you’ve scoured the web looking for good red panda information. Perhaps this is the best you’ve found. [soosan]

2000apr13. Ebay: The Jeeves Solution Lifecycle Mousepad

2000apr13. Mail.

Just curious if you’ll be updating your mailbag within the next decade. October was quite a while ago. May is nice. I realize your weblog is sexy, however I think several regular visitors to your site may spontaneously masturbate upon learning you’ve updated your mailbag. Let this be the top message and marvel at the amount of copulation that ensues. Your buddy,
-- Peace Frog

2000apr14. I heart Harry Stephen Keeler. The best, if possibly the most absurd, mystery writer on the face of the planet. [bovine]

2000apr14. You can watch Vegas landmarks implode here. It makes me kinda sad. [soosan]

2000apr16. In a cave, under the big waterfalls, you’ll discover the strange power of this spring: Petrifaction. [soosan]

2000apr16. Ebay: Keeeeeerist. It’s the Kissing The Pink “Naked” CD! I’ve only been looking for it for about fourteen years now. I stopped when someone made a dupe of it to sell – I suppose I should keep looking to CASH IN.

2000apr17. Ebay: Here’s that hog breeding crate I was talking about the other day.

2000apr17. Time to change your organ donor card.

2000apr18. Pretty Park is going around again, don’t run it if you receive it. I got it via email from a friend (the virus mails itself) and ran it like the dope I am. Here’s more information and removal instructions.

2000apr19. South Park’s Matt Stone goes ga-ga for math.

2000apr19. > Some skate guy named Chad chats, or at least Chad is supposed to chat. It > all starts off reasonably and then goes to hell when Chad seems to > disappear. And this makes Chad’s fellow chatters lose much-needed IQ > points and resort to profanity. I call it “When chat goes Chad.” [soosan]

2000apr19. Salmon Fisting! You will have to use your “brain” to figure out what is “going on” here, but I am sure after you read a few messages, you will “get” “it.”

2000apr19. A tour of the Greenbrier fallout shelter designed exclusively for members of Congress.

2000apr20. “Also books. And those bags that get caught up in trees. Toys, tarps. Anything out of the ordinary, really. Oooh, lookee there, is that a puddle of standing water in that guy’s pickup truck? We’ll have to remove that. The truck, I mean. Oh, just go away.”

2000apr21. SooOOOoooo ... here’s a funny kind of question. I always like posing questions to the people who read this weblog because they are the best people in the entire whole universe (twisting arm). This is for PC people currently under the Windows regime. How are you (you) keeping track of everything? By that I mean, all of it. You’ve got an idea – where do you write it? You’ve got an appointment – how do you file it? Your phone numbers? Books to read, movies to see, your hopes and dreams and journals and enemies list? I’m especially interested how this all fits in with your mail program (even if it doesn’t). Just click on that “contact” word up there in the upper left of your television screen and let me know.

2000apr22. Something we’ve known for years, but here’s the cut and dry on how the USPS makes cash by selling your address to junk mailers. Glad I forgot to fill out a change-of-address card for my last two moves ...

2000apr22. Move over Wagner, here come The Peeps

2000apr23. Pixbarn.

Slapped-together clip art, another graduate of the “I can’t draw extremities” art school. Also noted for bizarre black-line-art head and red-line-art body. This item was purchased April of 2000. They have other products, we’re all keeping one black-line-art eye out for ‘em.

2000apr24. An online chat with the Wright Brothers. Surreal. “How do you know all this information,since the real Wright brothers are dead?"

2000apr24. Eurocrap.

2000apr24. Coney Island – Dreamland. Long document, good for reading at WORK

2000apr24. [Cardhouse] Everyone get on board for the Pleasure-Railroad! Woo woo! WoooooOOOO! Also “woo.”

2000apr25. No one is sending email about the Pleasure-Railroad. I WANT INSTANT RESULTS

2000apr25. It is a little known fact that I am a master of Kung Fu. [bovine]

2000apr25. Coney Island History Articles. Many long articles. Good for reading AT WORK. Wait, I said that already. This is the same website, but it’s a list of all of the articles. You probably could haven’t gotten there yourself. You needed my services to reach this page. You’re worthless and weak.

2000apr25. Amusement Ride Accident Reports and News [via todd]

2000apr26. Don’t Believe It Or Do. Thought provoking, timeless. Swiss chard.

2000apr26. “Wacky” posters you can use as a desktops or print out AT YOUR JOB and post AT YOUR job with practically no fear of losing YOUR JOB

2000apr26. Mr. Pants has banana info. Learn how to fight cancer with delicious, cancer-fighting bananas.

2000apr27. Sims game creator introduces virus-laden Guinea Pigs into game [via steven]

2000apr27. Flanning victim shows no remorse [via iain]

2000apr27. Few websites actually make me dizzy and disoriented. This one does. [soosan]

2000apr27. “Okay, if that’s the way you want to play it ... we’re just going to sit here until we find out who took my grading book and bullets! How about them apples?” The class remained silent.

2000apr27. Story Minute: “Fish Bowl"

2000apr28. Beer goggles statistically proven

2000apr28. I had a bad nightmare just now. I was walking in the middle of the street and it became really windy all of sudden. I started walking with the wind, and then the wind started pushing an RV down the street so I thought I’d be “Mr. Nice Guy” and jump in the RV and stop it but the brakes were barely working and I ended up stopping at the edge of a cliff. So I turned the RV sideways, got out, and the wind took it over the side.

I hope that RV owner never figures out it was me.

While I was sitting here, recovering, I thought I’d follow up on the Pulitizer-prize winning two-part donut domain article [1] [2]. A lot of the donut domains are now dead, but at least Best Donut Man is still kickin’ out the 14-inch mega-donuts. He never sent me a sample donut, though. Amy Joy Donuts still has the out-of-focus drawing of Amy but now has tons of ads (“take her breath away at sweetlobster.com"?). E-donut.com? Dead. Donutman.com? Dead – totally destroys the running joke. I’ve learned my lesson there, I’ll tell you what. Dunkindonuts.org wisely sold their domain to Dunkin Donuts, Donuts Inn still has excellent donut pictures scattered around their site.

If you would like to send a picture of donuts to be posted on Cardhouse, that would not be a bad thing. And/or sushi boats.

2000apr28. “Oh, you’ll sing all right, you little shits, and you’ll keep singing until I find my gradebook and bullets, eh!” The class remained silent.

2000apr28. New Journal of Ride Theory out (MUST SEE cover), it’s only $3, buy buy buy!

2000apr28. Old Man Murray rates the computer shoot-em-ups scientifically using the time it takes to get to the crates. [via nelo]

2000apr29. Canadians preparing to invade United States

2000apr29. Massive earthquake shifts Detroit – rolls right over Bay City, resting at, ummm, what is that, Selkirk? Yes, poor Selkirk. [via Britain]

2000apr30. Pixbarn.

Pizzicato Five car ad, Mono magazine, September 1996.