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1999jun01. There is a strong moral imperative to help food biotech firms rake in the cash

1999jun02. Image editing ... on the web?

1999jun02. Iron Butterfly bassist becomes brilliant physicist, works on faster-than-light communications system for government, disappears from the face of the earth, then is (perhaps) found years later inside the wreckage of a minivan

1999jun03. Again, a special note: I am on vacation right now. Things will pick up next Monday or so, if I don’t just chuck the whole thing and become a croupier in Winnemucca. I could do that, you know. DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! I HAVE ONE OF THOSE DICE STICKS!

1999jun05. Mail.

You may find these points somewhat edifying That big stupid thing : AKA shit on a stick we have its aesthetically tragic twin (sheep sized brown spherical things that look like well ... shit suspended on 2 storey high poles masquerading as a corporate art work in Sydney Aust (appropriately next to a neon 6m x 3m coca-cola propaganda piece)corner of william st & darlinghurst rd ... The head bible basher in the Filipines is called Cardinal Sin I saw this add (in a very staid newspaper catering to the extreme right bluerinse set, calling for “volunteer sewers” Im visualizing the contortions required to become a human excrement conduit, the fine print actually clarifys -volunteer seamstresses Theres a website for a corporation called alibi you might want to check out.

- kiff

You are speaking of Utah’s The Stupidest Thing In The Whole World. I am sorry to hear that similar designs exist elsewhere. At least the one in Utah is in the middle of nothing ...

1999jun06. I Was Morgan Fairchild’s Love Slave [Deuce]

1999jun06. America. [via camworld]

1999jun06. Coming soon: the flying car [Deuce]

1999jun06. [Privacy] California sells your salary information. [via flutterby]

1999jun06. r33t.org. Some sort of collaborative message board which is really quite grand.

1999jun07. Mail.

Please come back. we need your expertise on Dig Dug. It hasn’t been the same these 17 years since you retired from video games.

Walter Day
Twin Galaxies

I think Walter is actually the guy who took down my high score ... if that is possible.

1999jun07. My Very Special Trip to the Nike Store

1999jun07. Frigid Midget ice cube tray reviewed

1999jun07. First-person account of current American employment crisis

1999jun07. It’s fun to smash things ... and it’s SCIENTIFIC!

1999jun07. This is quite funny. There’s a black hole in the center of our galaxy. Although the news story does say that black holes “pull in matter” and that the solar system is orbiting it, it doesn’t really go the extra mile to say that we’re actually being PULLED IN by it. [via infosift]

Wait, I’ve got some tag lines!

The universe actually does suck ... now scientifically proven.

From the Big Bang to the Big Hole

My planet was swallowed by a black hole and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

Okay, I’ll stop now. Are we going to get any sort of black hole ETA? I mean, will it be before or after the heat death of the sun? I need to know, I put everything in my little planner.

1999jun07. Children Use Space Shuttle Disco Ball To Destroy Enemies On Earth Via High-Intensity Light Beams. ”Some of these children have developed extremely advanced tracking and firing procedures. The NSA will be watching them throughout their childhood and will probably pluck these Wunderkids out of high school,” project coordinator Linda Ham may have said.

1999jun07. I don’t know if it’s specific to the BBC or what, but I’ve always liked this Y2k graphic. I think I’ll steal it! Time for a Y2k crime spree!

1999jun07. Depleted Uranium nightmare continues to unfold.

1999jun07. Beginning chapter of Joan Didion’s Uncovered Washington available at The New York Review of Books. [via robot wisdom] Joan is uniquely qualified to tell you what to think about Washington what with her membership in the Council on Foreign Relations and all.

1999jun07. You may remember iNax, a wonderful Japanese parody consisting of a toilet designed exactly like an iMac. This is the page it appeared on – it is no longer there, replaced now by a picture of the creator performing dogeza-suru and atama-wo-marumeru. His atama-wo-marumeru isn’t exactly milspec. Did anyone grab that image of the iNax?

1999jun07. (dead news link) "Gimme my DRINKS, you crazy birds! My damned bloody DRINKS!!!!” Why is it that no one gets into fights on trains except in the movies?

1999jun08. Mail.

i must say that yr site is most entertaining to paw thru while at work while i am supposed to be working ...

QUERY: seeing as you have many cool graphics of the variety i like (weird diagrams, cheesy 50s/60s line art, etc.), i was wondering if you knew where i could score some bingo (yes, the game) graphics for a magazine i’m designing.

thanks.

-- Holland

Holland has learned “the hard way” not to depend on my good graces when working with time-critical materials. I failed to scan the required bingo graphics I promised to within the specified period. I am ashamed. Let this be a lesson to you, the home surfer. Or to me, whoever.

1999jun08. Someday in the future, we will all wear stun belts and the government will shock us when we are bad. I think it’s for the best.

1999jun08. (dead news link) The State Of Humor Today. Part One.

1999jun08. (dead news link) I also have a birthday wish. Can you guess what it is? Read on and try to figure it out!

1999jun08. Type in a keyword, and BannerStake will show you the ads that the search engines are programmed to show when that keyword is typed as part of a search. Here, I’ve entered the word “dumb,” and surprisingly there are advertisers who want the valuable “dumb” demographic.

1999jun08. Ah. I tried entering “dfsdffs” into BannerStake and it still came up with banners. So that’s misleading.

1999jun08. Advertisement plumbs the depth of tastelessness; client sues ad company

1999jun08. Pranks: SF Pro-Yuppie demonstration (warning: the writer/perpetrator pats himself so much on the back it may induce nausea) [via obscure store]

1999jun08. Big Boys Don’t Fry: The Sexual Politics of Grilling (Lileks)

1999jun08. All About Male Nipples

1999jun08. Brunching Shuttlecocks: Japanese Snack Food ratings

1999jun08. More Brunching Shuttlecocks – I really love this Good Or Bad series, I tells ya. I am extremely surprised by the current results ... especially the frontrunner! And the placing of Mount Rushmore is completely wrong.

1999jun08. Streetspeak

1999jun08. (dead news link) I had no idea there was even a move to install in-trunk trunk releases.

1999jun08. (dead news link) "The ID requirement was the latest in a series of steps to curb youth violence in the aftermath of the high school rampage that left 15 people dead in Littleton, Colo.” Because, of course, R-Rated movies killed those kids.

1999jun09. Just For The Headline (thanks to Britain)

1999jun09. So? What’s the big deal here? This is what I do at my workplace. A guy’s gotta eat.

1999jun09. Frito-Lay has a website for Planet Lunch called www.ploids.com. The slogan of the site, “It’s your planet. It’s your lunch. So you make the rules.” is followed by seventeen paragraphs of legal boilerplate on terms and conditions. [Candi]

1999jun09. Big toe earthquake predictor

1999jun09. (dead news link) News Filler: “I have a smart bomb.” No ... no you don’t, sir.

1999jun09. Ebay now has listings by photo and category – here’s the “totally bizarre” section.

1999jun10. News Filler: “Uhhh, he was about five foot four, kind of stocky, made out of cardboard ... “

1999jun10. TV Chimps ... TONIGHT!

1999jun10. Your Tax Dollars Not At Work: “Foodborne Illness Peaks In Summer – Why?” A ten-year-old could have made the same conclusions. “My empirical research indicates that it’s hotter during the summer, and bacteria thrives during this time. Can I go play now?"

1999jun10. I could really go for a steaming portion of Hansen’s disease right now.

1999jun10. Kana fonts

1999jun10. I’ve been looking for a nice portable record player for awhile now, and I accidentally ran into this page, which features what appears to be a Sony record player that can play records vertically (scroll down a bit).

1999jun10. RoboCup, a robot-oriented soccer game. We’ll take those pansy robots on anytime.

1999jun10. The Macintosh Binary Cutter – which may or may not be a utility to convert Windows binaries to Mac. I don’t know what it does. It might be important.

1999jun10. Mah Jong font.

1999jun10. DRAIN THE LOCH!

1999jun10. Nice flowers.

1999jun10. The police protect and serve around the world.

1999jun10. Kana font “Scrap"

1999jun10. Monkey bowling

1999jun10. Kana/Roman font

1999jun10. Hooray! It’s Pink Rabbit! Hooray! Pink Rabbit! If you don’t understand what Pink Rabbit is all about, try this FAQ! Pinnnnnnnk ... RABBIT!

1999jun10. Kana font: “Steel Edge"

1999jun10. Japanese garage sale

1999jun10. I don’t know what this page is, but it’s very important, since there’s a penguin yelling “Donut!” on it. Perhaps, since he has wheels for legs, he is about to execute a donut in a parking lot somewhere.

1999jun10. Japanese design portfolio. There’s something intoxicating about the “cram as much as you can into the grid” ethic that I haven’t put my finger on quite yet.

1999jun10. Cibo Matto’s new album slagged

1999jun10. Great interview with Yaphet Kotto

1999jun10. (dead news link) Detroit area man faces trial for swearing after being dumped by a canoe in fucking Standish, which is about seven or eight goddamned miles North of Pinconning, the stupid-ass cheese capital of the free world.

1999jun10. China’s attempt to be first country to put man into space.

1999jun10. Privacy: Seems like every day there’s another one of these stories.

1999jun10. Major anti-war protest completely ignored by our darling corporate-owned media

1999jun10. Weeoooo! It’s not our fault! Bring back the CFCs!

1999jun11. Mail.

I’m trying to get hold of Lotte chewing gum in the US (Reno, Nevada). I specifically like the Sweetie, Muscat, Blueberry, and Mango flavors. I have a bunch of friends in the office who would also like somewhere to obtain this gum. Let me know if you can help-
Amy C.
Reno, NV

I am not up on the Lotte phenomenon. I suggest scouring Japanese and/or Chinese grocery/video/book stores.

1999jun11. Filler: Prosecution makes claim that runaway lorry driver was imitating movie. I’d love to see the transcripts for this case ...

1999jun11. Quotes on liberty

1999jun11. Ummmm ... click around a bit? “Enjoy” ... [via bifurcated rivets]

1999jun11. Ira Glass talks about J.S.G. Boggs, money artist.

1999jun11. While driving back across the United States, I saw several wind farms, which I think are just the most damned delightful things to sit back and watch. Wind power! Wind power! Power from the wind – how beautiful is that? I didn’t spend much time looking for wind farm info but ended up finding this case study, and here’s a good photo that illustrates exactly how big these mothers are – see the tiny truck between the third and fourth windmill?

1999jun11. (dead news link) News Filler: Amish teens lured by drink, go HOG WILD

1999jun11. Milky Elephant: Shockwave oddity.

1999jun11. 40% of 1999 corn crop genetically modified. Dig in to that cereal, kiddies! Let’s see what the science of today does to your tiny little bodies tomorrow! Fun for the whole family! Good thing there’s a labelling program in place so consumers can decide if they want to eat GM crops or not. Wait a second ...

1999jun11. Lumpen: the activist’s library

1999jun11. Lumpen: Craig Baldwin profile

1999jun11. Lumpen: Oh, just read all of it. Cringe at the crappy table of contents interface.

1999jun13. Where exactly do large scale websites like imusic get their content from, like, say, a bio of Hasil Adkins? They STEAL it! It’s much easier than actually writing.

1999jun14. How, exactly, does this place stay in business?

1999jun14. Word: Food Stylist. The less you contribute to humanity, the more you will make. Also, I popped this article out of its disgusting flashing-ad frame, it makes me twitch like a Japanese schoolgirl.

1999jun14. Big wad of Negativland press from ATN. Don’t know when this published (just after Dispepsi?), ATN avoids using dates on articles for some reason.

1999jun14. (dead news link) Everywhere, America.

1999jun14. (dead news link) The movie review that could make you nauseous, baby! Yeah!

1999jun14. The Black Rock Desert Self-Invitational Golf Tournament

1999jun14. Awww yeah, Hostess snack ratings, Donettes makes the cut ... orange cupcakes squeak by ...

1999jun14. (dead news link) Filler: “Ding ding! All aboard the death train!”

1999jun14. Firecracker labels. Bless the web. Bless it.

1999jun15. (dead news link) Totally bizarre Coca-Cola health scare. The cola itself is not contaminated, there are claims of the “red paint on crates used to transport the drinks” reacted with the paint on the cans and caused the illnesses yet people drinking out of glass bottles also fell ill. Where the FUCK is Encylopedia Brown, that’s what I want to know.

1999jun15. German tourists find body in bed ... again.

1999jun15. Webloggers suck

1999jun15. For the love of God, it’s the MIRACLE PEPPER

1999jun15. Found photo.

(contributed by Craphound.)

I’ve been wracking my brains trying to figure out what that thing in the foreground is. (2006: It’s a theatre light)

PS: Dig the innovative mirrored Saturnball

1999jun15. (dead news link) Massachusetts pushes against Supreme Court decision to allow police officers to order people out of their cars during traffic violation stops

1999jun15. We don’t want those Powerball people in our neighborhoods. Please pass a law. Thank you, The Rich.

1999jun15. (dead news link) "You know, we’re just not sure. I mean, it could be anything, even though we’ve ruled everything else out.” “Have you looked into confections ... say, candy, for instance?” “No, we have not looked into candy. This may be the cause of it. One day we will find the cause of it, and that day will be most glorious.”

1999jun15. These kids know more about drugs than I do.

1999jun15. It’s Freaky Thursday!

1999jun15. Old gum labels.

1999jun15. (dead news link) Two different causes of Coca-Cola sickness. I wonder if everyone who drank the stuff had to get past cans that “had rust-like patches and smelled bad.”

1999jun15. What’s the matter, LONDON? Don’t you LIKE to buy things, lots of nice shiny NEW things? Pretty ... shiny ... [drool] Hey, if I was in London now, you KNOW I’d be “Driver #2” in a J18 car crash.

1999jun16. (dead news link) Your Tax Dollars Not At Work, Part MCMXVIII

1999jun16. I would like to live in a missile silo.

1999jun16. All right TREE! Go tree! [holds up lighter]

1999jun17. “The museum of failed consumer products is filled with exhibits such as the Betamax videocassette player, the eight-track tape and New Coke. And now there’s Divx video-rental technology.” (“One of these things is not like the others” – 8-tracks didn’t fail! But it’s a good thing Divx has. Take THAT, Circuit City morons!)

1999jun17. Step back, Cintra’s AT THE WHEEL!

1999jun17. Uddi Uddi. Free fonts, and the stylish remote-o-tron.

1999jun17. The Cringe on Worm.ExploreZip.

1999jun17. Lileks: The Lost Women of Swanson’s

1999jun17. Genetic Explosion Sale! [via deuce of clubs, from strawberrylocks]

1999jun17. Red Helvetica America.

1999jun17. I recently took a trip from California to Michigan and passed, for the fifth time, the “Generic Motel” in Nebraska. A search for it on the web turned up this Chicago-California road trip.

1999jun17. (dead news link) “At least the trains run on time"

1999jun17. INS uses leg-shackles? What country am I in again?

1999jun17. (dead news link) "Okay, I’m going to hire you to protect me while I shoot my way into a mental-health facility.” “Duh, okay.”

1999jun18. Love TV Reruns? Then you’ll want to join the fan club of THE Rerun! [via deuce of clubs]

1999jun18. Ralph Henke thinks BIG

1999jun18. "If you want der pizza American-stylen, you will der wanten BIG AMERICANS!”

1999jun18. Is this der German equivalent of The Spot?

1999jun18. What is this one made of, glue? Just one of the many pizzas tested at Pizzatest.

1999jun18. Kool-Aid Man remains curiously silent despite repeated requests to say ”Oh, yeah!” Depression is a disease we all know and let’s hope that Kool-Aid Man makes a quick recovery. [via obscure store]

1999jun18. (dead news link) Panda Wire: Hsing-Hsing stabilizes. I saw this bad boy back in 1978, when I was in D.C. on a business trip.

1999jun18. The Smoking Gun Theme Song by Jon Flansburgh. I saw this bad boy back in 1997 when I was in NYC on a non-business trip.

1999jun18. The Gore Tax

1999jun18. "This is the CIA ... testing, testing? One two three? Okay, I think he can hear me. Press what? Oh ... whoops. Here is your first command: produce crippling truckloads of documentation about your condition. Over.”

1999jun18. (dead news link) FREE IDEA: Eventually some smarty-smart will make a browser plug-in that pre-analyzes all the jpg files on a given webpage and gives a thumbs-up or down depending on how much flesh tone is in the pictures.

1999jun18. Made in America! Progressive Review claims that Victoria’s Secret, JC Penny, IBM, Toys R Us and TWA use prison labor. Here’s some corroboration on Victoria’s Secret, here’s another essay.

1999jun18. Article by Angela Davis on prison labor.

1999jun19. Some degree confluences can be hazardous to your health. [via deuce of clubs]

1999jun21. Pictures? On the RADIO? [harumph] Impossible!

1999jun21. "I don’t see probable cause here, officer.” “I, ummm, believe that there is drugs in the car? Yes. That is what I believe.”

1999jun21. Biometric FUN!

1999jun21. (dead news link) Wow, how inspiring, just like those rich balloonist dorks. He’s RISKING his LIFE!

1999jun21. Nazi shopping mall

1999jun21. (dead news link) In China, heroin users are locked up, fined $500, and then they work off the debt in prison. This is really not much different from the American system, except you might get to make lace panties for Victoria’s Secret (see below).

1999jun22. Mail.

WHERE CAN I FIND LOTTE CHOCOLATE SUNFUNS.
MBi

I SAID I DON’T KNOW WHERE PERHAPS YOU COULD TRY AN ASIAN GROCERY STORE.

1999jun22. Sock monkey REVENGE [jess]

1999jun22. Administration: I have been rather “busy” the last few days. This trend will continue. I know you care.

1999jun22. Handy Phrases

1999jun23. Pepsi Dearest

1999jun23. Dense Wire: Coinless cola vending machines activated by cell phone?? Damn glad I don’t drink any of that crappy sugar water.

1999jun23. Finland has had cell phone vending machines since late 1997. The poor bastards.

1999jun23. Jammin’ with da animals! (shockwave)

1999jun23. Unlocking the delicious secrets of ASPIRIN

1999jun23. Excellent Superbad! SUPERBAD!

1999jun24. Big deal, we want Dealey Plaza Sewercam!

1999jun24. How do we keep our big overbloated NASA staff employed? [music swells]

1999jun24. (dead news link) I certainly hope one can “opt-out” of a talking ATM. “Your balance is--” “SHUT UP!!! SHHHH!!!!”

1999jun24. Disappearing ink is TOP-SECRET [thanks to adam]

1999jun24. What’s that say? Mixin’ scratchin’?

1999jun24. (dead news link) Supreme Court rules that the federal government may ban prisoners from receiving Playboy, Penthouse, or other sexually-explicit magazines. Among the magazines listed as being specifically excluded from the ban is the Victoria’s Secret catalog. You know, so prisoners can at least see their handiwork (see dead horse, jun 18th).

1999jun25. More favicon.ico bullshit from Microsoft ... as if it wasn’t bad enough that Chairman Bill went off the board to create this headache, it could also be exploited to run spurious code and read your hard drive. SHUT IT DOWN COMPLETELY. Put me in an alley with the guy who thought of this ...

1999jun25. Out of control Maakies!

1999jun25. I can’t think of anything to say for this one.

1999jun25. Star Wars action figures placed here and there, comically, with amusing accompanying dialogue. [via flutterby]

1999jun25. SF parking (in annoying font)

1999jun25. Pay the door, pay the mom, pay the DJ, pay for the items, pay the house, pay the makeup artist, now SMILE while you earn it all back: the grim life of a stripper presented in the form of a rulebook

1999jun26. Mixin’ scratchin’ 2: Actually, i think THIS has a closer feel vinyl on a turntable. Take THAT Pioneer. [jon]

1999jun27. $271 for running a red light. Enforced by camera. Beyond all of this, California seems to have a problem timing lights – sometimes I hit the line when a light turns yellow, and then it turns red before I get through the intersection at the speed limit. I think a good jury-rigged solution to this problem until the larger issue of privacy in society is hammered out would be something like a slingshot or a paintgun.

1999jun28. Mail.

I don’t CARE what people say. I LOVE the current Cardhouse colors. Orange, Green, and occaisonally a spot of Blue. Them’s Nationwide colors, man!

Tim H

[preparing for Nationwide lawsuit]

1999jun28. Mail.

Well i think the colours are just fine. The small bold text was a bit hard to read, but that’s just my opinion. Don’t let the Man get you down! Surely quality content is more important than green freakin’ type.

jez

One for two ain’t that bad.

1999jun28. Once again, I have forgotten to provide a pointer to new Cardhouse material. This is a raster-to-vector algorithm that will help you if you are looking for a raster-to-vector algorithm.

1999jun28. non-Disney Orlando animatronic horses COMING RIGHT AT YOU!

1999jun28. Scary SPIDER GOATS

1999jun28. Jobs That Would Make Most People Slowly Go Insane, Part XVIII

1999jun28. So stylish ... so very ash!

1999jun28. (dead news link) Goofus and Janus, all rolled into one.

1999jun28. Found photo.

(contributed by Jason S.)

The Used RV Series.

These were developed from negatives found in a used RV (There’s a picture of the RV in one of the photos). They probably belong to the owner before the owner that sold it to the current owner (who’s the one who found the negatives and developed the pictures). I am now terrified of hot tubs and sun rooms.

- Jason

Ah, Monte Carlo! You devil of a city, you.

Bavaria! Land of intrigue!

The Used RV Series draws to a close.

The family “toughens it out” in Death Valley.

1999jun29. Mail.

Hey, don’t change your color scheme! It rocks!

- chainsaw

And it will continue “rocking,” Mr. Chainsaw!

1999jun29. (dead news link) The study of humor. Check out the “Jennings” example in the text, it’s a killer. Are these people humor archaeologists? And ... oh dear god ... a HOSPITAL CLOWN ... yes, funny times are sure to be had at this conference!

1999jun29. What’s so public about public TV? A FAIR study.

1999jun29. Web collage [via ntk]

1999jun29. Ten Months Later: a mediation on Fry’s, the electronics store DMZ.

1999jun29. Contest: The Tackiest Place in America

1999jun29. (dead news link) We Cannot Help. Pray For Deliverance, Oh America.

1999jun29. KPFA in Berkeley now has armed guards outside the studio.

1999jun29. A poorly-designed website featuring information on the Pacifica/KPFA debacle.

1999jun29. Zzzzzz ... wake me when it’s over ... [todd]

1999jun29. In the middle of this excellent Hostess/comic book shill page is this Preacher parody ... where did that come from?

1999jun29. This whole site is beautiful. Tops. Fifteen stars out of twelve and half.

1999jun29. Nice summary of those stupid email hoaxes certain people fall for over and over, including a funny “Good Times” parody hoax (“It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can’t find it. It will kick your dog.”)

1999jun29. "Marketable.”Not “interesting” or “best.”Marketable. Glad I’m not writing a book.

1999jun29. For those of you scoring at home: moderate consumption of alcohol does not have health benefits this week. (scroll down a bit)

1999jun29. Brunching Shuttlecocks: Vicious Vegan

1999jun29. Get him! Get him! Wait ... oh my god, that’s Bruce Willis as a kid, WATCHING HIMSELF DIE!!! NOOOOOoooOOOOOO!!!! The end.

1999jun29. "Shhhhh, Timmy ... no one can hear your McScreaming in here.”

1999jun30. For the love of god, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

1999jun30. TURIN? TURIN gets 2006? Not Poprad-Tatry?

1999jun30. I think I’ve uncovered the lynchpin of the Slovakia 2006 olympic candidature bid failure. That’s the kiss of death right there, the “HAPPY OLYMPIC GAMES” thing.

1999jun30. There goes my nest egg. I was going to CLEAN up on pins.

1999jun30. Netomat now available.

1999jun30. ICA Experiences: in the theatre, in the cinema.

1999jun30. Public media labs.