Dear Suhs (I am writing from Alabami so try to remember your Foghorn Leghorn as you read):
I cannot make up my mind whether I am vexed or perplexed this sunny morn. And, having eaten everything fast food has to offer (chicken, burgers, tacos, chicken tacos, tacoburgers – wait, not everything ... I’ve never had a Big Mac with a condom on it), I am looking to you to make my mind up for me.

The problem is that in my effort to discover a “Manifesto on/about/for/consisting of Bologna,” all I ran into were these friggin’ (see deSade) websites in Italian. Do I look like I can read ITALIAN!

The answer is no.

And I say that the compilation of search engines named “Dogpile” is aptly tagged.

Naturally, I figured to step back from the problem. How about a search for “baloney,” what I was really looking for all along! Sure. Top notch thinking.

Results: a site on health care initiatives (“Stop the baloney from killing our construction workers?”), one on lesbians (I don’t want to go there ... I mean, lesbians, okay. Baloney, great. Baloney AND lesbians?!), and some links to skepticism (which, for me, would have amounted to an endless feedback loop).

Finally, a jab at Yahoo!, that pile of dog itself. How in the world can a search engine call itself Yahoo! when it returns ZERO MATCHES TO THE KEYWORD BALONEY! even if it is attached to manifesto. I am not asking you write any baloney manifesto. I’m sure you would not. After all, your fridge is completely stocked with donuts and toast and that tuna salad you conveniently forgot to eat in time. But, if you do know of strategic members of the armed forces or GOP who could be knocked off to alleviate my angst, please set the wheels in motion.

Another loyalist subscriber,
Fred T