1999feb25. Donut Domain Survey (part 2).
(2002 April update. Most of the donut sites that were listed here are gone, victims of their own greed and poor planning. What were they thinking, buying Aeron chairs instead of real, actual donuts? Who would want to pay $8.00 in shipping for a fifty-cent donut? Did anyone watch those e-donut commercials during the Superbowl? No. No one did. And thus, the great exalted future era of electronically-ordered donuts came to a spectacular and crashing end. I hope you were smart enough to move your money before the donut bubble burst).
www.e-donut.com
I got all excited when I found out about e-donut.com. I thought this might
be an e-commerce site that primarily traded donuts. You could speculate
with virtual crullers, boston cremes, etc, and then when you had to cash
out it would be in donuts. However, there is nothing there. Nothing.
www.dunkindonuts.org
This has nothing to do with Dunkin’ Donuts, but however is a “Consumer Opinion”
web site that collects customer comments and such. Good for stomach-turning
quite-possibly-true customer horror stories.
www.donutquest.com
A quest for donuts is indeed a noble one. However, this site has little
to do with donuts. At least, I don’t think there are many donuts on the
site – it features just about every cockamamie “special effect” that web
losers around the world highly cherish including the ever-present midi background.
This site includes pictures of the Northridge quake, special information
on street gangs, “Warez,” etc.
www.amyjoydonuts.com
This was a big staple of my youth. It looks like someone scanned an old
Amy Joy box and then forgot to do anything else with the website. But that’s
how it goes on the world-wide web. Perhaps you’ve noticed.
www.apple-donuts.com
This site, of course, is where you can get updates for mac os8.5. Don’t
ask me. Perhaps “donuts” are some sort of new plug-in or helper module?
I regret my move to the PC more and more everyday.
www.dunkindonutssucks.com
Doesn’t have any web pages associated with it. I read a news article awhile
back that said corporations were buying up domains like this
so no one else could use them. But there is no fuckdunkindonuts.com, for
example, or dunkindonutscrammedupmyass.com for that matter. There is a myriad
of possibilities when considering obscenity-laced Dunkin’ Donuts-disparaging
domains, including dunkindonutscockring.com and ratscrawlingallthehelloverdunkindonutsdonuttraysjesushchristyougoddamnratsge
toffthedonutsgetoffthedonutsseveralexclamationpoints.com.
www.411donuts.com
”Yo! Homie! What’s the donuts 411?”
I do not know, my friend. 411donuts.com will give me no donut information today. It has all the elements of a site that wants to tell me where the donuts are located, but does not.
www.bagofdonuts.com
Bag of Donuts is a New Orleans-based rock band with a severe identity crisis.
There is one band member dressed up as Gene Simmons in full Kiss make-up.
There is another member who is wearing a large watermelon headgear contraption.
And so on. Visuals are good for distraction.
www.bestdonutman.com
This site features outrageously-large donuts that are available for ordering.
These donuts are bigger than your head and cost forty dollars. This is mostly
what’s wrong with America today. Someone, somewhere, decides to take something
quintessentially American, like the donut, and blow it all the fuck out
of proportion. “Super size it,” Bestdonutman.com seems to be saying, but
I can’t hear him. I CANNOT HEAR YOU, BESTDONUTMAN.COM!!!!
www.daddysouldonut.com
Yet another band, but this band does not dress up in silly costumes. I am
not sure what type of music they play. Here’s a bit of the bio: “Four musicians
with varied backgrounds forming a band may not be unusual, but crafting
a palatable sound from a myriad of resources such as grunge, fusion, reggae,
celtic, a little punk, and even some country, is certainly out of the ordinary
and often nothing short of a miracle.” So halleijifegh(sic) for the miracle
of DONUTS.
www.delphidonut.com
I’ll
let the site explain itself: “I am the Donut --Delphi Donut. My mom and
dad call me that because I reminded my dad of a chocolate-iced white donut.
My first name is Delphi--we pronounce it “Delfee” and I’m named after some
computer gobbledygook my dad works with. I guess you could say I was named
after my dad’s main interests--food and computers!” Well, I guess just be
glad your dad doesn’t use Visual Basic, kid. There’s a great infinite donut
background on this site. Steal it. I won’t say anything. STEAL!
The first page is off to a great start, with the proclamation “World Wide Compendium of Important Donut And Donut Related Issues” and then there’s nothing else there. Nothing.
www.donut-andalucia.com
Esto está en español. No puedo leer español. Es muchos conseguidos seguros
de materia en él. Es demasiado malo yo no puede leer a español.
www.irondonut.com
This site allegedly has nothing on it, but I have located THIS
secret page because I am a dedicated civil servant. This has nothing to
do with donuts, however.
I think that is enough donut domains for now.