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1999feb25. Donut Domain Survey (part 2).

(2002 April update. Most of the donut sites that were listed here are gone, victims of their own greed and poor planning. What were they thinking, buying Aeron chairs instead of real, actual donuts? Who would want to pay $8.00 in shipping for a fifty-cent donut? Did anyone watch those e-donut commercials during the Superbowl? No. No one did. And thus, the great exalted future era of electronically-ordered donuts came to a spectacular and crashing end. I hope you were smart enough to move your money before the donut bubble burst).

I got all excited when I found out about e-donut.com. I thought this might be an e-commerce site that primarily traded donuts. You could speculate with virtual crullers, boston cremes, etc, and then when you had to cash out it would be in donuts. However, there is nothing there. Nothing.

This has nothing to do with Dunkin’ Donuts, but however is a “Consumer Opinion” web site that collects customer comments and such. Good for stomach-turning quite-possibly-true customer horror stories.

A quest for donuts is indeed a noble one. However, this site has little to do with donuts. At least, I don’t think there are many donuts on the site – it features just about every cockamamie “special effect” that web losers around the world highly cherish including the ever-present midi background. This site includes pictures of the Northridge quake, special information on street gangs, “Warez,” etc.

This was a big staple of my youth. It looks like someone scanned an old Amy Joy box and then forgot to do anything else with the website. But that’s how it goes on the world-wide web. Perhaps you’ve noticed.

This site, of course, is where you can get updates for mac os8.5. Don’t ask me. Perhaps “donuts” are some sort of new plug-in or helper module? I regret my move to the PC more and more everyday.

Doesn’t have any web pages associated with it. I read a news article awhile back that said corporations were buying up domains like this so no one else could use them. But there is no fuckdunkindonuts.com, for example, or dunkindonutscrammedupmyass.com for that matter. There is a myriad of possibilities when considering obscenity-laced Dunkin’ Donuts-disparaging domains, including dunkindonutscockring.com and ratscrawlingallthehelloverdunkindonutsdonuttraysjesushchristyougoddamnratsge toffthedonutsgetoffthedonutsseveralexclamationpoints.com.

”Yo! Homie! What’s the donuts 411?”

I do not know, my friend. 411donuts.com will give me no donut information today. It has all the elements of a site that wants to tell me where the donuts are located, but does not.

Bag of Donuts is a New Orleans-based rock band with a severe identity crisis. There is one band member dressed up as Gene Simmons in full Kiss make-up. There is another member who is wearing a large watermelon headgear contraption. And so on. Visuals are good for distraction.

This site features outrageously-large donuts that are available for ordering. These donuts are bigger than your head and cost forty dollars. This is mostly what’s wrong with America today. Someone, somewhere, decides to take something quintessentially American, like the donut, and blow it all the fuck out of proportion. “Super size it,” Bestdonutman.com seems to be saying, but I can’t hear him. I CANNOT HEAR YOU, BESTDONUTMAN.COM!!!!

Yet another band, but this band does not dress up in silly costumes. I am not sure what type of music they play. Here’s a bit of the bio: “Four musicians with varied backgrounds forming a band may not be unusual, but crafting a palatable sound from a myriad of resources such as grunge, fusion, reggae, celtic, a little punk, and even some country, is certainly out of the ordinary and often nothing short of a miracle.” So halleijifegh(sic) for the miracle of DONUTS.

I’ll let the site explain itself: “I am the Donut --Delphi Donut. My mom and dad call me that because I reminded my dad of a chocolate-iced white donut. My first name is Delphi--we pronounce it “Delfee” and I’m named after some computer gobbledygook my dad works with. I guess you could say I was named after my dad’s main interests--food and computers!” Well, I guess just be glad your dad doesn’t use Visual Basic, kid. There’s a great infinite donut background on this site. Steal it. I won’t say anything. STEAL!


The first page is off to a great start, with the proclamation “World Wide Compendium of Important Donut And Donut Related Issues” and then there’s nothing else there. Nothing.

Esto está en español. No puedo leer español. Es muchos conseguidos seguros de materia en él. Es demasiado malo yo no puede leer a español.

This site allegedly has nothing on it, but I have located THIS secret page because I am a dedicated civil servant. This has nothing to do with donuts, however.

I think that is enough donut domains for now.