Regarding the photograph -
This photograph is a fraud. It was not taken in (nor around) 1987. In order to correctly identify the epoch of this specimen, one must look deeper than just his surprisingly ahead-of-MTV-fashion-chain-wallet. Indeed the chain’s gleaming shine smacks us with the “Generation Next!” lemming form of “individuality” (AKA. “Alternative”). Another contributing factor to support my theory: The bad-teenage-goatee was far from “the rage” on the late 80’s. But let us not focus only on this young man’s hygiene. Notice the perfect curve on his baseball cap’s brim. Handed down from hip-hop/rap culture, (which as of late has become extremely popular) this deformation reeks of late 1990’s. Complimenting the hat’s brim are the low, hip-hung jeans, backed by a colorful pair of boxer shorts – see previous note Re. Hip-hop music. Let us also include (for fairness) the previous photograph on this young man. Obviously, this individual is stoned. Although it is unclear of his sobriety in the later photo, the hemp necklace he blatantly displays gives us a clue. Such anti-government behavior was not tolerated during former president Reagen’s “War on Drugs.”It is very unlikely Mom and Dad 1987 would have supported their son’s mocking form of self-expression. For these reasons, I feel these misplaced found pix(s) should be removed from the section entitled “First Thing X-Mas Morning 1987 Series.”
If you feel I have erred in any matter or assumptions, don’t hesitate to correct/berate.
Thank you for you time,
I have forwarded your concerns to the individual who found this set of photos. His reply will be forthcoming, bold, and reckless in style and content.
1999aug02. The new issue (#6) of Craphound has just been published. It is a expansion of the first issue: Death, Telephone, and Scissors. I’ve put up Sean’s image request list for the next two issues of Craphound. You should contribute something now!
And Sweet Jesus! Did the Internet ever come through this time around! Not one, not two, but a mind-blowing EIGHT low-grade, pixelated images were pulled, one per hour, from the websites of future-minded morticians, monument carvers, and casket-makers. So I guess it’s not really a vast mire of overrated bullshit after all.
1999aug02. There’s a vinyl record being sold out there somewhere called “RRR 500” – it has 500 grooves, one artist per groove. Zoviet Franc, John Oswald, The Haters, Sonic Youth, and much, much more. The only information I can find on it is at Wow Cool. There’s a few copies of it available on GEMM.
1999aug02. The Banana Criticism Project at The Molotov Organization. The organization hopes to utilize the common, unassuming banana as an object of social criticism in the UK and beyond. Good on them!
I disagree, sir. If this photo is from 1987, this is clearly not a young Mr. Ted Kaczynski. Perhaps it is a Ted Kaczynski who has travelled BACK in time to complete mundane tasks for a needy family. I am only channeling the opinions of the Swami who lives in my brain juices.
When you’re looking for the big comedy punch at the end of your paragraph, hit ‘em with the brain juice Swami. Works every time.
1999aug02. So there was this weird bug crawling up my wall just now and I just grabbed the nearest tools I had to get rid of him, namely, a screwdriver and a dish plate. So I knocked him off the wall with the screwdriver, and onto the plate. Just my luck, he turned out to be some kind of break-beat poppin’ bug and as soon as he landed on the plate he made a little click and flew a foot in the air. I don’t mean “flew” in the traditional sense of the word - I mean he flicked himself into the air. He didn’t have wings, the poor bastard, so he’s compensated by coming up with some kickass tumbling gymnastic skills. Then he landed back on the plate, and did it again, and again, and again. Because his trajectory wasn’t entirely vertical, I had to move the plate around so he didn’t x-scape [circus music plays here]. Eventually he missed the plate and landed on the floor.
That’s when I smooshed him with my Arling & Cameron CD.
1999aug02. Breakbeat Bug Update: Remember that breakbeat poppin’ bug? Well, it’s twelve hours after the smooshing, and his head sort of separated from his body during the night and it was just spinning around in circles on the ground this morning. So I smooshed it again with another CD, I don’t remember what it was.
1999aug03. Pokey the Penguin is a beautiful surreal comic strip with an extensive archive. Some ne’er-do-well has apparently taken it upon himself to create some sort of futuristic program that automatically sends a randomly-composed five-panel Pokey the Penguin strip to Metababy every damned day, like this one from today. Jailtime is too good for this scamp, this rapscallion, clearly the type of punishment he richly deserves is best served in the form of a large slice of Boston Cream Pie. He hasn’t had Boston Cream Pie in quite some time. And maybe some vanilla ice cream, as well? That would be fitting!
1999aug04. Race Around The World, an Australian television programme that looks like it aired in 1997 and 1998 and not this year. Sort of like Road Rules, but everyone goes off to different places. Click around a bit, there’s a lot there. Here’s Tony in Idaho and Rachel in Burma to get you started.
1999aug04. I would like to take this time to congratulate Dr. Scott C. Berk (and several others) for the breakthgouth JACS paper “A Combinatorial Approach toward the Discovery of Non-Peptide, Subtype-Selective Somatostatin Receptor Ligands.”As you can see from the accompanying diagram, the combinatorial amino acid splay is concurrent with the diamine subtropa and shit. He has also made it about 2000 times easier to update this here weblog. Hooray!
1999aug05. Vuk Cosic has some "ASCII music videos" in the Vinyl Video format. Listen to the Vinyl Video format first if you have a slow connection, you’ll get a faster idea of exactly what “ASCII music video” means. I am weeping tears of joy right now.
1999aug09. The JamCam is a cheap digital camera for the kiddies. You can get eight 640x480 pictures on it. Looking at the website, you sure do get the impression that you can pop this camera in your backpack and take pictures as you would with a regular camera, but the JamCam has to be tied to your PC to even work. A nice man at the big department store told me that’s why they all were recalled. Poor JamCam.
1999aug10. It is time to feel sorry for the superstores. Personally, this news is a bit disturbing to me, because I am hoping that several of the superstores, like HQ and Officemax and Wal-Mart, team up to make a multi-level super-superstore mall thing that would blot out the sun. People could live inside! I am pushing hard for this. Think “Cask of the Amontillado.”
1999aug10. Privacy: Everybody’s jumpin’ on board that crazy biometric boxcar! Come on, everyone! Get aboard the Fingerprint Train! (singing) Oh, the dentists gotta do it, and if you wanna drive or even exist in California and several other states you gotta do it, welfare recipients do it, even them criminals do it, everybody’s givin’ up their piggies for the Great Society!
1999aug10. [Administration] For the next two weeks, this here weblog will sort of limp along, as I am preparing for Burning Man. Then the two weeks after that, there will be no entries, as I will be at Burning Man. Then things will return to normal, whatever that is. Burning Man is like going to Walt Disney World, except there are more rules.
1999aug10. Hatch and Feinstein meet and it’s a GROOVY LOVE STORY! Check it out, their proposed Methamphetamine Anti-Proliferation Act makes it a new federal felony to LINK to web sites that contain information about where to buy drugs! Journalists, webloggers, whoever! If this was law now, I’d be facing three years in the pokey! Keep pushing you fuckers, eventually the rope will break ...
1999aug10. Privacy: Amazing plastic ID badge to stop illegal aliens. The shit is coming down hard today, my friends ... the GAO is looking to issue new social security cards with identification data-laden computer chips installed ... next time someone starts talking about all of our wonderful freedoms in America, kick him in the crotch for me. Thanks.
1999aug11. Buzzword warning. “Emergent.” It’s this year’s “Pro-active.” Go AWAY
1999aug12. Sometimes when I read the news I have to pinch myself. (dead news link) Kraft is apparently having difficulty selling Tang and other powdery nonsense because competitors like Pepsi or Coca-Cola “can be poured right out of their bottles or cans instead of taking the trouble to mix them.”THIS IS NEWS? and WHO CARES? “The trend in desserts is away from preparing (them) yourself.” News flash: Tang is now a “dessert.”
1999aug12. [Deuce of Clubs] How to blow up the brand new, abominably worthless Tempe Town Lake! (For entertainment purposes, only, kids! Play nice-nice!)
1999aug12. Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival 1999, Oct 9/10. Doc say: “So many rules you’ll think you’re at Burning Man!” No walking-in chairs/food/drink? The “no drink” rule is bullshit, concert providers have vastly underestimate crowd sizes in the past ... it should be damned illegal to stop people from providing their own sustenance/survival during an event. I’ll still go. Have to go on the first day. Underworld. Underworld. Underworld.
1999aug13. I was driving onto the “freeway” the other day and saw some graffito on the “HIGHWAY ENTRANCE” sign. “That’s new,” I thought. And just above and to the right of the graffito, was more graffito that said “NEW.”
1999aug13. French month has been prematurely attacked and immediately capitulated to the enemy.
1999aug15. Tilex has a (new?) product called Fresh Shower, a “daily shower cleaner.” I am looking for something in more of a “bi-annual shower cleaner” style.
1999aug15. There’s nothing more aggravating than web pages that refuse to use different-colored text for links. Here’s a particularly annoying example, in which the headers are a different color, but link to nothing, and certain words in certain paragraphs are links, but are the same color as the body text. Running my cursor over every single word to find the hidden treasure is extremely low on my priority list.
1999aug15. So ... .KIMBLE! Wir treffen uns wieder. Dieses Mal entgehen Sie mir nicht. SCHUTZ! Ergreifen Sie Herrn Kimble und legen Sie ihn in mein fiendish nicht-entgehen Einheit der extremen Folterung. [per Der Lo]
1999aug16. Imusic strikes out again ... the text wad describes a 1986 Wanda Jackson album; the album cover shown is a greatest-hits compilation from 1996. You should pick up the compilation album, yes indeed.
1999aug17. This article in the Washington Times indicates that “Generation X” designates people between the ages of 18 and 29. Which means that A) The Generation X spectrum is stationary, with the youth of today and tomorrow moving through it, sort of like the Menudo cut-off age, and B) I am no longer a member of Generation X. Thank you, Jesus.
1999aug17. Pinch me, I’m DREAMING!!!! A computer that could turn on the television set just before my alarm clock goes off? Frick, perhaps it will strap a feedbag on me, wheel me over to the car via gurney while a tiny sex robot fellates me, as well! The suburban wet dream push-button future bores the living shit out of me. “Even activate cameras to check on the baby sitter.” Hahaha. Plural. This surely is a home of the total-surveillance future! [uo]
1999aug19. The Bolinas quake was the first earthquake I haven’t slept through since moving here ... this web page describes what physically happens during an earthquake as represented by the Mercalli/Richter scales.
1999aug20. Horrible review of horrible April 1999 Positivland/BLF show openers, “God Nose..”There was no “confusion” about just how bad a Dylan impersonator could be, the set sucked to high heaven, even if construed as a “prank” on the audience. Luckily there was a back hallway available to escape the sonic sludge ... ”Ironic reference” my ass ...
1999aug21. Ouija Board Gallery. I have stayed clear of these things ever since using one in college ... my friends and I gathered around the board on a Halloween night almost a decade ago, and the guy that went first asked the Ouija board something like “What will happen to me?,” some stupid thing ... and the Ouija spelled out “B O O M” and sure enough, not twenty seconds later there was this horrible explosion that blew me clear into the next room ... I staggered back, senseless, and there were only little charred bits and pieces left of my friend. It’s kind of hard to talk about it ... I never believed in that stuff before ... but now, seeing these boards ... I kind of get all queasy and stuff. [via bifurcated rivets]
“Okay, this time, NOBODY FUCKS AROUND, okay? This time is for REAL. If anybody fucks with the pointer, I’ll kick their ass.”
1999aug21. "She kept her hobby a secret from Hollywood and the public ... ” No! You are wrong, CNN reporter! She shot arrows on The Late Show! Okay. You won’t see much of Hollywood represented here in the It’s The Extremely Sexy Cardhouse Weblog Scene. But now, I am letting you know ... Geena Davis is IMPORTANT.
1999aug22. [Deuce of Clubs] “The Music Commission on Church Music of the Episcopal Church and the Music Commission of the Diocese of Albany do not consider usage of Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” from Lohengrin or Mendelssohn’s Wedding March to be appropriate for use in the church.”
1999aug22. An article about Hawaii’s “midlife crisis" which makes sure to mention that statehood was “welcomed” by Eisenhower (haahahah!), but does not mention the secession movement. Hawaii isn’t the only state eyeballing the rip cord ...
1999aug26. I will be at Burning Man, following rules. Then I will be in a casino. Or seven.
Hell with them! I like the colors and the attitude ... thanks.