1999apr05. So we went to the Mojave phone booth. We got to answer about 160 calls until the FREAK ASS SNOW BLIZZARD came in and we high-tailed it out of there to Primm, Nevada, where we could gamble in peace and quiet. That Whiskey Pete’s got a mean casino, but LET ME TELL YOU about his body and hair shampoo, weeeeooooo lordy. For more late-breaking news on the details of phone booth blizzard ’99, click on the Blizzard Banner™ to the immediate right of this text here. Maybe up a little. I’m not sure at this point.
Okay. Here’s the problem. I have a lot of things to do. And not much time to do them. And taxes. So I can’t keep updating this site every day, at least not until I get my time-release PancakeRobot installed. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to put a bunch of stuff up, and it “counts” for an entire week. PACE YOURSELF. Here are the things.
Special thanks goes out to The Finger for a large portion of the found photos.
Also, here is even more BONUS stuff to keep you off my back. This is a child’s kitchen set entitled “My First Kitchen.” Rusty of Bigrig purchased it for one strong American dollar and was kind enough to share it with you, the clamoring, insatiable, slightly-overweight fruit-jelly eating public.
Salut, children, Salut!
The next BONUS thing is a mousepad that I purchased at a flea market for fifty American cents.
Dare to dream! Perhaps one day we will all live in a Less Invasive Future™! This reminds me of the ad for hypodermic needles that promised a “new level of injection comfort.” It’s around here somewhere, but good luck finding it. I call this place My First Firetrap™.
Finally, here is a possessed Bubbly Chubby, the Teletubbies knock-off.
The button-activated BLOOD RED eyes have been softened a bit by the unforgiving glare of the flatbed scanner, you know, just like Cybill Shepard on Moonlig--what’s that, Bub? You want me to destroy the U.N. building? I HEAR AND OBEY MY MASTER, CHUBBLY BUBBLY. What? Oh, sorry. MY MASTER, BUBBLY CHUBBY.
Also, pretend I played a really funny April Fool’s trick on you. Great. I mean something like maybe Cardhouse was bought out by some spineless corporate entity, or there is some kind of pending lawsuit, or something. Use your imagination! Less work for me. I have to go to New York now.