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1998apr01. Mail.

From: rbsmith

Fella, I love your site, but can’t view it in it’s entirety as the pages download at a truly glacial pace. It’s like trying to suck Nell Carter through a crazy straw! I’m on a T1 here and this is way bad. Just thought you might like to know that even your hardcore fans may have to surf elsewhere.

You think YOU’VE got problems? Cardhouse is also glacial at my work (T1), so I can’t do anything good there, and I’ve got 14.4 at home [webnote: just updated to 56k, but as it turns out, my ISP is the bottleneck, giving me unheard of speeds like 25 char/sec]! Jesus Christy! One of my friends lives only 30 min away and Cardhouse comes up instantly. We checked the work link out, it bounces all the way over to California and back, very nice. There’s not much I can do unless you send me a traceroute – Cardhouse is, quite literally, ONE COMPUTER away from THE MIT HUB. Isn’t that ridiculous? I mean, at work, I can load Australian sites faster ...

1998apr04. The current commercial campaign for Isuzu has a slogan, “Go Farther,” which appears on the screen, rather quickly, one letter at a time. So if you’re looking away from the screen and you glance at your set at a certain point, it reads:

Go Fart

1998apr04. My housemate recently bought some paper towels with a happy “Save the Planet” slogan printed on them. Speak for yourself, you lousy paper-towel bastards! We all used to use cloth towels before you showed up, and we damn well can go back anytime we want! Anytime now! Here we go ... we’re going now ... see you in hell, paper-towel companies ...

And, in local news, Towne Club is back! Towne Club! Towne Club! They have a website that isn’t even there (www.towneclub.com)! We bought a case, we did! Towne Club! If you’re in the neighborhood, stop on by for a free(*) bottle of Towne Club! If you spill some, I’ll wipe it up with my CLOTH TOWELS (right HERE, paper towels!).

* You will be charged.

1998apr14. Mail.

Hey about the Japanese candy review, choccy, gum, etc. – that guy seemed to know quite a bit about it, or has a lot of cavities. I’m doing some research for my internship at an ad agency, something involving a candy product and pre-teen to teenaged girls in Japan. Somehow the girls got the idea of giving the candy to boys they liked and the trend really took off, promoting the candy with no traditional advertising whatsoever. Can you name this product and the company that manufactures it? This had to have started before or during 1994, it was mentioned in an anecdote that year.

Thanks. Gotta love that Japanese junkfood.

- Carol –

I cannot NAME THAT CANDY! Perhaps ONE OF OUR LOVELY READERS CAN! Why AM I SHOUTING!?!? [Later, according to Jack, the author of the piece, the holiday that Carol was thinking of was an obscure American holiday called ”Valentine’s Day.”Maybe I have that wrong.]

1998apr24. Winston television ad featuring The Flintstones. For the entire commercial and commentary, I could do no better than to direct you to Modern TV. [2006: Or youtube for the video, of course]