1996jun16. Random, pointless A&W paragraph with miniscule salute to the Olympics.
There are two or three drive-in A&W restaurants left in the Detroit-Metro area. To place your order, you have to talk into a speaker placed next to a menu. Ray, Phil and I enjoyed a meal of pretend burgers and delicious A&W root beer, while making loud, dumb conversation.
Ray: The waitress only weighs eight pounds.
Mark: She looks like Nadia Comaneci strung out on crack.
Phil: What I like most about the speakers is that they can listen indiscriminately to any conversation you might be having.
Ray (falsetto): I am not eight pounds!
1996jun16. Im sure a number of you recently received a switch-services check from AT&T for $100. One HUNNERD dollars? Thats enough for me to switch from Sprint, then back. I was an AT&T customer for about four hours; the tape with my record had just popped up, according to the AmeriScam (our local-call monopoly) representative. Somehow I finagled Sprint into letting me hang onto my bonus points; I almost have enough to fly to England. Getting back might be a problem. Anyway, two weeks later, AT&T called. The check had cleared, so I figured I owed them a short conversation.
Youve switched from AT&T to another carrier, we were wondering why this was?"Suckers. Thanks for the $100. I spent it on drugs.
Im not sure ...
Just going to try out another carrier?"
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
Wed like to offer 40% off your blah blah $10 check blah blah ... switch tonight.
Note: That wasnt supposed to sound like an endorsement for either of those bloated corporate phone freaks; I just HAVE to get those bonus points. As soon as I get my Eurotix, Im going to switch to Freds local incompetent co-op phone service. I promise.