1994dec17. Route 66 Fiasco (part 2).
In our last missive, the recently-deceased Antonio Carlos Jobim, composer of The Girl from Ipanema and Desafinado (“Desssssafinado ... why don’t you come to your senses ... “) went unnamed. X Magazine regrets the error (a measely paragraph in Milestones [Time, 94dec19], which includes a picture of Jobim looking for all the world like Elton John during “the fat years”; those of you fascinated with the use of the word “party” as a verb are advised to check out the accompanying Milestones paragraph on James Scott, who received a life-sentence for grabbing a few sandbags from a levee holding back selected portions of 1993’s Mississippi River flood. Oh hell, I'll just reprint it here: “Prosecutors maintained that Scott [was] intent on stranding his wife across the river so he could party ... “; Time Magazine: “It’s about People!(sm)”).
Also, we have been hounded by numerous logistical coordinators for the Route 66 X Magazine Staff Car trip to remind our readers that the theme for this perverse piece of performance art is, indeed, Christmas, and the driver shall be wearing a jolly Santa suit for the journey. His co-pilot, having morphed (brrrr ... morphing) from a supposed sultry ‘zine (brrr ... “'zine”) editrix to a 6'5” “guy,” will be wearing a comical elf outfit, meeting “Santa” at the beginning of Route 66. Oh, the tickets they’ll gather! X Magazine regrets the error. As with all X Magazine performance art pieces, the Jon Stewart (Show) will be duly notified. You just know they’re going to ditch the suits one hundred miles out of Chicago.
X NEWS!
I am proud to say that we have not worked
one lick on the new X Magazine since our last missive, NOR have we participated
in any type of Christmassy ritual save receiving a fine snowman Pez dispenser
from a fellow ‘zine ( ... .brrrr) editor (“Juxtsuppose”) in the mail. It was
mailed from Canada, and had to have a green customs sticker attached describing
the contents:
Pez
Letter
Cheery holiday sentiment
This will probably be the best Christmas present we will receive this year. Because Pez rules, see. Unfortunately, we here at X have missed the glorious chance (again) to showboat our cutting edge graphic-design skills by creating a holiday-type card. It’s just as well; with our continuous efforts to please everyone on the planet except dour humorless smugs, we figure the final greeting on the card (in some fancy-schmancy script, like Kuentsler or Park Avenue, I dunno) would read something like “Please enjoy, to the best of your ability and desire, the time period between now and two weeks from now.”Touching, isn’t it?