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I’ve been in a few parking structures the last month or so and every time, there’s no cash option for exiting. “Isn’t this illegal?” I asked the small disco ball that accompanies me on exciting pandemic adventures like “going to the hospital” and “going to an entirely different hospital” and “going to the first hospital again.”

Turns out it is illegal in California. Less than $5000? Cash is OK!

Along the same lines, city garages in SF used to be the tightest, hottest parking place for your dollar value. Years ago. Now it’s where you go to get corked. Additionally, SF finally found my last coveted secret parking spot in the last year or so and made it two-hour parking. Like you can do ANYTHING in the city under two hours/$20. Now I have to buy a boat or something. “Land HO, Bally. Toss the anchor and we’ll swim ashore, get ourselves a twenty-three dollar do-nut.”

2022jun27.

Tom Scott: This clock (Netherland’s flower auction clock) was famous, but the internet ruined it.

2022jun27.

I Lied About Being An Artist . A Documentary About Visual Artist David Fullarton

2022jun22.

Not Just Bikes: America Always Gets This Wrong (when building transit)

2022jun21.

I got a call from some spam thing and punched it into a popular but loathed search engine. It showed a few numbers that had the same area code/prefix, along with obviously fake names. Glarsore Deleiros. Stuff like that.

The page itself is something like “xxxxx.gov.tr/293-403” and when i go to it there’s a prompt from Spokeo to enter the last four digits.

So it’s a fake page with a Spokeo prompt just so the government of Turkey/Türkiye can figure out what random spam ro-bot is calling me.

this place is fun [FX: spins globe, kicks it across room]

2022jun16.

Detailed mattress drawings, various postcards ~1880s.

2022jun13.

Why Am I Doing This? (A Film About Touring; 2021)

2022jun12.

Not Just Bikes: Why We Won’t Raise Our Kids in Suburbia

2022jun07.

Fashionable Hats. The Delineator, 1892.

Those Awful Hats, 1909.

2022jun05.

I’ve been on a diet for months so I can become a “Tick Tock” dancer and downshifted into a “lo-carb” version about a month ago when originally what I was eating was an “all-carb USA” diet that I made up in my head out of pizza and bread. So you know what that means. That’s right. That’s right. Food-based ガチャポン (Gachapon). Just fruit sandos didn’t cut the mustard. All food, everywhere, at all times. Bread? Yes please, thank you. Can I get a “to go” bag of bread and bread accessories? Bread. #bread

2022may22.

Van Neistat: The Value of Mentorship

2022may21.

ガチャポン (Gachapon): The Cult Of The Fruit Sando. I can’t claim to understand the appeal of フルーツサンド (fruit sando). Milk bread, cream filling, fruit. It sounds tasty, but wrong. If you need fruit sando gachapon, I have some good news.

2022may13.

Not Just Bikes: I Don’t Exercise (my city does that for me)

2022may12.

McKesson & Robbins Ideal Felt Tooth Polisher (1889).

2022may06.

I am not a musician nor car expert. The source for the beginning drum solo of 1984’s 1984 Van Halen track “Hot for Teacher” is not universally agreed upon.


“Don Landee and I worked with Alex to create his trademark drum intro for the song. If you listen to the very beginning, it doesn’t sound like a drummer; it’s too random a pattern. That’s because the first five seconds are the Lambroghini exhaust; then Al’s electronic drums come in.” – Ted Templeman, producer of Van Halen’s 1984 in Ted Templeman: A Platinum Producer’s Life in Music


“I have heard the master tape files from the session, in person, in a post production studio. As you might expect, the engineer at the session had come across the master files illegally. The recording starts off with the simmons pads, playing the alternating herta licks and whatnot, then the drum tracks (the bass drums, played with feet) come in over that. The simmons pads were on a separate audio track; it would appear that the bass drums were recorded on top of (i.e. along with) the simmons track. After the simmons track and bass drums go for a bit, the tom notes appear on the drums track. The simmons track ends when the cymbals enter, and the guitar solo begins. ¶ Obviously, the simmons track was recorded separately from the drums tracks. It was likely recorded first, and then the double bass and toms were laid over it. Sorry to destroy the mystique...” – drummerworld.com

This next video takes apart the drum pattern for “Hot for Teacher,” and the one that follows is a six-year-old playing the drums on “Hot for Teacher.”

Eddie Van Halen owned a 1972 Lamborghini Miura. We can just look at Miura videos all day and try to find one that has the Miura idling. This is difficult because in almost every video, the driver starts the car and immediately revs it. No one wants to hear the idle, they just want to hear it cranked. You’ve already heard the Miura cranked on the Van Halen song “Panama.” They also wanted to put the Miura on the song “Jump” according to Templeman. So let’s take a listen to whatever idling bits and snatches we can grab of various Miuras.

The thing that strikes me right away is that the idle is dirty compared to the beginning of “Hot for Teacher.” The intro does not sound like a miked Miura, it sounds like actual drums as explained by the comment on drummerworld.com. They may have actually miked the car, and played over it, then removed the original audio (this is something 808 State would do with extant songs: noodle along with a record they liked, then eventually remove the original track). There was a car in the “Hot for Teacher” video, a 1932 Ford, the 1932 Ford “hot rod” that is so quintessentially a “hot rod” that it appeared as the cover photo on the first issue of Hot Rod Magazine, a magazine about “hot rods.” It’s only on-screen for a second or so. Can’t even get a clear shot of it.

It’s now located in the Peterson Auto Museum in Los Angeles which I have been to but I only remember the car with the circular door (1925 Rolls-Royce Phantom I Jonckheere Coupe) not because it’s a car with a circular door but because it is a very beautiful car even without a round door and I don’t say that very often. Say, let’s listen to some idling 1932 Fords.

[added later] Just to say, these 1932 Fords sure do sound like the intro drum solo as much as any of the other candidates I’ve read about; given that the very model is in the video, I’m guessing that the solo was based on the 1932 Ford idle and someone is going to have to produce an interview with/quote from Alex Van Halen himself at this point to convince me otherwise even though absolutely no one else has pointed this out, ever in the history of histories and I award myself one “hi-carb” (NPI) snack like a cinnamon bun in the shape of a cute rabbit for the thorough investigatin’ and you can’t take that away from me because it’s in my tummy the end. PS: Someone will turn this into a high-paying long-ass drawn-out “Youtub” video and we can all agree in a court of law that person owes me at least 10% vig for the idea the end part 2.

2022may02.

This wonderful article about vending machines points to another article about an origami vending machine in Japan. You’re ahead of me on this one: yes, there are vending machine Gachapon. Good Cola, that’s my brand.

2022apr29.

when you rewound your tape you had a little movie you could watch “Will The Rectangle Make It Home I Hope It Does”

right now the video image looks like ass

oh right i’m converting all my precious video tapes to digital

2022apr27.

DEEP CUTS

2022apr26.

Two new ice cream doots at Family Mart. Lookit the LINES on those things. This ice cream is too futuristic for me. I am not ready for the challenge. These graphics are very choice. Link/translation follows.

Family Mart twitter entry / Family Mart website entry

New today, Tuesday, 4/26! Black Thunder Frappe / Good old cookies zakzakzak! / Chocolate Frappe
Vanilla melt-in-your-mouth gobble / Cookie Vanilla Frappe / Cookie Vanilla Frappe

#FamilyFrappe2022

2022apr25.

The Batman (2022), starring Adam West as the The Batman

2022apr24.